Is It Possible To Fill This Empty Space In Ourselves?
Chapter 7
When they finished lunch and were sitting relaxing in the back*—luar* kitchen was Ernest mentioning that he had managed to get a job and from Monday tomorrow will go to the district every three days.
Arsyana glanced calmly in response before returning slightly up to the sky, her eyelids somewhat drooping enjoying the refreshing breeze during the day, “do you remember the way?”
The woman didn't ask about her work and somehow it left Ernest a little empty, “I guess,” she replied quietly. Arsyana's indifference shouldn't make her feel a sense of abandonment.
“You can use these three days as a route memorization exercise.”
“You'll keep an eye on?”
“Why should I?”
“I could have gotten lost.”
“Then goodbye.”
Ernest rolled his eyes hearing Arsyana's light response. Come look up to see the bright blue sky with clouds, “I managed to get a job in the bookstore,” he said after a moment of hesitation. I don't know why Ernest still wants to share his success in getting a job.
“Mm.”
Just getting a light hum in response made Ernest feel a little disappointed.
“That's good,” says Arsyana soft, “welcome.”
For a moment Ernest was stunned when he heard it, but after that subconsciously the corner of his lips slightly raised and his body which he had not realized was tense since earlier became more relaxed. So, Ernest told me how he got the job.
Starting from working to read the newspaper to an old father after being offered several Flo, talking for a moment to find out the father was an employee at the bookstore, he said, until receiving advice to try to register because there are vacancies there.
What was unexpected was that he actually managed to get it after going through many questions to test his ability in knowing letters and numbers. Although there are still some doubts on the side, they still give him the opportunity to try next week.
“They didn't ask for a population certificate?”
“They asked.”
Arshana was silent for a while.
Ernest touched the palm-sized paper he used to keep with the gilden in the inner pouch of his old shirt*—which he has now discarded* and pulling that thing out of the front pocket of the pants he's wearing right now, “I'm using this,” Ernest said thrusting what he was holding onto the woman beside him.
Arsyana just looked at the certificate handed over and still hung in the air for quite a while, raising her face to look with the calm black eyes of the man she took the paper from the other hand.
Although similar to the certificate of population in fact the paper held by Arsyana today is not that, but a sign that is more useful especially for a traveler like Ernest. Identification mark issued by the army.
“You are out of the army,” said Arsyana, brown eyes read one by one the words written on the paper he held.
“Yes,” looking ahead Ernest recalled the day when he decided to stop and turn into a wanderer, a week after their victory took the entire village from the remnants of the army of New Country.
Arsyana handed back the identification paper, “why not stay there?”
“I never intended to be an officer,” Ernest slipped back the certificate into his pants pocket, “never felt like fighting for this country like they.”
“Your colleagues will be disappointed to hear you who is a soldier saying like that.”
“Heh, they might even hit me.”
“But your leader is still giving you a special army stamp, even though it is explained that you are no longer an active officer.”
“I owe it to Major General.”
Arsyana glanced at Ernest who was looking into the distance, perhaps reminiscent of the past.
Yep. The man recalled the night before his departure, when he emptyly went to see the Major and expressed his decision to come out. How after that Ernest felt a cold sweat when facing the deadly gaze of his leader, yet stubbornly remained silent under that surveillance.
Wh why?
Ernest remembered the heavy voice of his Major who asked after the two had been in a long time of heavy silence.
Wh why?
Because I have no reason to stay here anymore.
What Ernest didn't say back then was ‘I wanted to go back’, but he already had nowhere to go.
“Does Kolfan Bookstore give you a contract?”
Arsyana's question made Ernest come to his senses from his memory. Slightly loosened his upper body until leaning against the wooden wall, he calmly replied, “yet.”
“Other people can still snatch it then.”
“I know, but they themselves have waited more than a month to have a registrant who has the ability to read.”
“It still does not provide certainty,” comments Arsyana.
“How else,” Ernest rubbed his neck and sighed defeated, “I am not a citizen of this district and the identification certificate I gave can only help so far.”
Arshana didn't say anything more.
So was Ernest who was now staring at the perch in front of him.
A long silence enveloped the two who were cool in their minds until Ernest finally voiced what was on his mind, “you must raise chickens in this yard.”
Arsyana meringling not interested, “too troublesome.”
“But this page is quite extensive, instead of unfortunately not utilized.”
“They can damage my crops.”
“We can make fence around it.”
“Say of people who can't even bring water from the river.”
Ernest immediately defended himself aggressively from that sarcasm, “you forbid me!”
“Do not want you to steal the opportunity to rest longer on the grounds that your wounds are torn again because of excess load,” reply Arsyana with a smile that seems to say ‘I know what you are doing’.
“I don't! And you're just prejudiced at me!”
“How not? I haven't seen you useful here.”
Ernest's mouth was open-ended wanting to say something but realized what the woman said was true.
Arshana was stunned to see the rapid change in expression on Ernest's face, from the aggressive look of wanting to deny, the awareness of the truth, to the acceptance at the end. All of this happened in less than five seconds.
Ernest scowled at the woman's loud laughter, but finally with the rest of his pride as a man could only say, “while longer I can be useful.”
“I hope not to disappoint,” seductive Arsyana because the rest of her laughter.
“I won't.”
“Good, I intend to let you fix the roof.”
“You should have fixed everything from the beginning,” Ernest's comments sound a little complaining.
“Why should I? Previously I only needed one bedroom.”
“And let the other rooms collapse?”
Ernest silently looked at the woman sitting beside him.
“What?”
In a low voice he asked in doubt, “kamu—do you have no intention of staying here forever?”
Arsyana met the black eyes that were still watching him and with a breath of air he sighed, “who knows,” while returning to look up and lower his eyelids when a caress of wind touched his face.
Ernest looked at the figure of Arsyana who looked relaxed enjoying the pleasant atmosphere of the day*—bright and cool simultaneously* and finally turned to enjoy the horizon.
*
The next day Ernest did what Arsyana— had previously suggested memorizing the shortcut to go through. He began to enter the mountain forest when the light of Mentari was enough to illuminate the surface of the earth so that he would not stumble across the various tree roots in the path to be passed.
As she said her plan to go into the forest to explore and remember the path, the woman looked at her for a moment then smiled sweetly but there was a flash of ‘watch the fun’ in those brown eyes, “I won't search if you get lost,” and wave your hand casually as Ernest leaves.
Being looked down on made Ernest leave while exclaiming annoyance, “ won't!”
He could still hear Arshana laughing as she walked further and further into the forest.
And now*—a few hours later*, Ernest again heard the woman's crackle in his mind along with a shadow of the scornful gaze that the brown eyes would throw when he saw her circling aka lost.
Although it was a bit long in fact Ernest managed to get out and see the main road to the county, he did not go down there and just stared from inside the side of the forest to make sure that it was indeed the road he had been on yesterday before turning around to return, but this was where the problem arose.
The more Ernest stepped forward the more lush the trees he encountered to make his judgment of direction blurred. When he realized that maybe the turn he took was wrong he had walked quite a long time into it.
Knowing that he immediately stopped and carefully scanned around to assess where he was. Ernest stood tall and alert but kept his silence and composure in place as his vision quickly took all the pictures around to ascertain if there was any threat there.
He doesn't seem to be going too deep yet, but that doesn't mean he's safe. The forest had so many dangerous things that not only the wild animals and even the plants inside could kill if he did not pay attention. Especially if this was a forest that he didn't have the understanding of.
Making sure not to encounter any signs of predators such as snake— which is harder to realize when compared to large-bodied wild animals Ernest immediately turns back and traces the direction he came in slowly—ensure he no longer takes the wrong path made him even more lost.
Ernest walked slower than before and meticulously watched what he passed to look for a sign that could be used as a basis for directions to his temporary residence. Unfortunately all the trees almost looked the same so that made Ernest quite a difficulty.
The rustling from the right side behind him made Ernest immediately turn around with enough fret just to see a brown-haired bird perched on top of the rotten foliage that was under the tree, he remembers it seems like Arsyana quite often gets this bird.
Ernest slowly approached him but the bird flew away. His steps stopped when he saw the winged animal's departure to find that the bird had again landed on another fallen leaf not far from the first place.
Ernest frowned and licked his lips nervously. Looking in all directions to observe the surroundings and after weighing for a while even if he still had doubts he again walked up to the bird.
The animal flew back as Ernest approached it and descended to the ground again as the distance between the two was quite far. It continued for quite some time until he realized that the trees in front of him were not as tight as before.
Ernest felt a burst of happiness at the thought of him coming out of the inner zone of the forest. Immediately calm down so as not to fall asleep causing carelessness, he fervently continued to follow the bird while observing the places passed.
Until he saw the bumpy road he was familiar with, Ernest slightly relaxed his vigilance and heaved a sigh of relief.
“You really led me back,” he said as he looked at the bird pecking around the grass and falling leaves not far ahead.
“That's because I spread the idiot feed.”
Ernest did not feel too surprised when he heard a voice that for more than two weeks was familiar in his ears appeared here even in fact he was already somewhat suspicious at the beginning. The bird he followed was always seen pecking at something along the way.
With a helpless look Ernest turned to the origin of the voice to look at Arsyana who was leaning shoulder to one of the tree trunks with a bunch of twigs in her arms. There was a humiliating grin on the woman's lips.
“Since when did you follow me?”
“Follow you?” reset Arsyana with offended tone, “that's rough.”
“Then?”
“I just happened to see something fun.”
“Really?” Ernest asked unimpressed.
“Seeing you the confusion is quite entertaining.”
“Bad hobby you have.”
Arsyana chuckled in response.
Sighing helplessly, Ernest looked at the woman solemnly, “you said you didn't want to watch me.”
“I'm not watching you.”
“Then how do you know?”
Arsyana replied to Ernest's gaze and lightly smiled, “I saw a trace on the path leading into the forest.”
“You suspected I would realize I had walked in the wrong direction and circled back to the starting point.”
“I just want to watch if you would be so stupid not to notice it immediately or even if aware you would act and go the other way.”
“So what do you think?”
The lip line on Arsyana's face thinned, but the light in her brown eyes became more sincere, “ is not too stupid.”
Ernest was stunned to see that smile, his eyes staring blankly at the woman in front of him. The specks of light that made it through the forest among the lush foliage of the tree swept through Arsyana and made it look softer.
Ernest did not understand. The woman before him was so difficult to understand. Why bother doing all that?
“What do you daydream of stupid?”
Ernest came out of his contemplation upon hearing another voice and seeing that Arshana had moved out of place.
“Still don't want to go back?” taunt the woman.
“No,” Ernest soon after Arsyana, “I want to go back.”
Two weeks is too short to understand a woman like Arshana. His attitude often shows an indifference that pushes people away, but at some point gives attention that makes others interested in approaching.
Ernest glanced at the woman as they walked hand in hand and only now did he realize that the other half of his head was shorter than him. The speck of light that entered directly from between the trees and hit Arsyana's brown hair made the strands look rough, Ernest was curious to touch and feel them.
*
A few moments after they walked for quite a while in silence.
“By the way how do you set up that bait and bird?”
“Take.”
“How long have you been hiding?”
“Take.”
“Also in which part of the forest did you see me first?”
“Take.”
“Can you answer anything else.”
“Think of yourself.”
***