Love At the End of Ramadan
Chapters 20. Feeling Inappropriate

The twilight silhouette began to decorate the horizon window. Refracts the orange hue that seems to spoil the eyes. Even the afternoon breeze began to seep into the body. Leave the cold air that increasingly tightly embraced the human body.

Kirana was speechless, fixated, staring at the figure of the young man who was clearly visible in his good looks. His lips clenched, unable to string and pronounce words. Too surprised by what Rama said.

"Ran, how? Will you allow me to meet your parents?"

Kirana blinked her eyes. It dawned on him that he had been in his mind long enough. That's what makes Kirana even more nervous.

"Ram, you're kidding me, right? You're not serious, are you? You're just practicing for stand-up comedy right?"

Kirana asked a few questions to the man sitting next to her. Hearing Rama say that he will propose, makes Kirana feel it is just a joke. It is impossible if Rama falls for him. A man fell in love with a sinner? It's so unbelievable.

Rama smiled meaningfully while shaking slowly. "No Ran, I'm not kidding. I'm really serious about asking for you and making you my wife. Do you doubt me?"

"Why Ram? Why did you fall in love with me?"

Rama's forehead wince. "Do you all need a reason? I don't think so, Ran. I just feel that you are the right woman for me to be my life partner."

Rama did not seem to mess with what he said. From the first time he met Kirana, his little heart seemed to whisper that the woman would be his life companion. Therefore, after talking with his parents, and both gave their blessing, the young man was more determined to step up. As if he did not want to linger, Rama expressed directly in front of Kirana.

Kirana got up from her sitting position. He stepped his feet to stand under the catapult tree while turning his back to Rama. To feel all the sensations he felt. Does he have to be happy? Or drag him into a vortex of dilemma.

"I'm a sinner, Ram. It's not worth it to get holy love from a devout man worshiping like you."

"We are sinners in our own way, Ran. With the prayer. With zina. With riya'. With the arrogance of success we have gained. With pride in what we have. And with the idle things that we have unconsciously done."

For a moment, Rama paused his words to breathe deep air. While Kirana is still trying to understand what this man is saying.

"Lantas still deserve this self to feel holy? And feel much more perfect than others by assuming they are contemptible of us?" rama continued, increasingly making Kirana dissolve in his mind.

Rama smiled in a knot, seeing Kirana not giving the slightest response. The young man got up from his sitting position and approached Kirana. He stood at the side of the woman who was still standing.

"However, no matter how filthy and despicable this self is assured that God's forgiveness and His compassion are far greater than anything else. He always extends His hand to bring us back into His arms. Hugging tightly into our bodies in His grace and compassion" explains Rama who seems to have Kirana distract him.

Kirana, who had been looking straight ahead, was now pointing to the side. "But you deserve the best Ram. You're a sholeh man, you shouldn't get a woman like me."

"If I feel that you are the best for me how is Ran?"

"Maybe your feelings are Ram's fault."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with how I feel, Ran. I am a man and you are a woman. And my feelings say I have fallen for you. Isn't that human?"

Kirana was getting quieter. Rama's words this time really can only make him not flinch at all.

"But Ram  ..."

 "Wait a minute Ran!" said Rama who suddenly slashed the words of Kirana.

Kirana fell silent, as Rama again set out to continue his speech.

"You're not in another man's arms, are you? I'm just afraid you're trying to turn me down because you're tied to someone else's proposal."

Kirana shook her head slowly. "No Ram, I'm not tied to anyone's props at all."

Tub showered with thousands of rose petals, Kirana's heart felt so happy. Which unhappy woman was lured by this shaleh man like Rama. A man who is very perfect both physically and also his morality. Some people may no longer need to rethink. They must have consciously nodded their heads to accept it. But it was all different from what Kirana felt. The woman felt unworthy to welcome Rama's feelings.

"Ram. I don't deserve you Ram. I don't deserve. There are still a lot of women out there who are more everything than me. You can get it."

Rama seemed to be casually responding to Kirana's words. All about the inside of the heart. He feels entitled to reveal everything.

"Well if you feel you don't deserve me. You can steady yourself first until you feel you deserve my proposal. And I'll keep waiting."

Kirana's getting dead fleas. He who previously thought that Rama would retreat, even seemed more eager to not give up. The man tried harder.

 "Ram me..."

"You don't have to answer it right now Ran. Think carefully first. I'll wait."

***

After performing Isha and tarawih prayers, Kirana sat alone in the garden near the musholla at the residence of Rama. Enjoy the night atmosphere that feels so soothing.

However, it was different from the current state of his heart. Pinangan suddenly spoken by Rama really disturbed his inner peace. Which makes the woman do not know what to do.

"Son, is anyone bothering you?"

Aisyah saw what Kirana was doing from a distance. He saw that this woman was in a state of deep thought, so Aisha decided to approach Kirana.

 "Eye!" peeked Kirana who was a little surprised.

Aisyah also landed her buttocks on a park bench that was on Kirana's side "What's up, son? Why do you look so confused? You can tell Umi. Maybe Umi can help."

Kirana just shook her head. It felt so embarrassed if he had to tell me about Rama's proposal. "No Umi, there's nothing Kirana's thinking about. Kirana's fine."

Aisyah only commented a little smile on her lips when she saw Kirana was covering what she felt. In fact, he knew what was troubling Kirana's heart and mind.

"Son, you deserve the love of Umi's son. Believe me, Umi's son really sincerely loves you and wants to hold your hand together to reach for His jannah."

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