Married Three Breeding Widow
You Guess I Want?
Juwita held the steering wheel of her car while repeatedly breathing out. Actually, when Juwita was pregnant with her third child, Juwita 'positive' suffered from asthma that worsened after giving birth. Therefore Adji often warns Juwita not to let her chest feel heavy, physically or mentally, because it will be dangerous.
Juwita is trying hard now.
Focus waiting for Abhimanyu to put things into the car according to his orders.
"Lo go first" said the boy after he finished. "Gue ride motor so—"
"Lake in." Juwita won't hear it. "Let Banyu pick up your bike later. Login."
"Juwita, lo—"
"STOP CALLING MY NAME AND JUST SIT DOWN!"
Juwita can't hold it anymore. The frustration and anger he could no longer bear and grew as Abhimanyu fought back.
"YOU'RE A LITTLE KID WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT PARENTS SAY, HUH?! LOGGING IN! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BIKE! THROW IT AWAY IF YOU NEED TO!"
Abhimanyu pulled the car door rough, sat down followed by the door slam.
Juwita's hands shivered again as she ran the car. His breathing began to feel tight accompanied by faint sobs. His eyes tried to focus forward, trying to run the car stably despite his chaotic mind.
Everything is fine, everything is fine and will be fine. Juwita convinces herself, remembering Adji and her children to believe for sure it is true.
But like women emotions in general, Juwita's lips spit out those feelings.
"I'm tired" he said. "I'm tired of you. Everything is fine except you. It's like you're not happy if our family's okay."
"...."
"You think I forgot, huh? The first day I came to your house, you treated me like someone who should not be there but I held it because of your Mama. I never wanted to hurt you, hurt you, take your Mama's place, so I tried to be your Mama's friend instead of your Mama's. Let you know that I'm not there to ruin anything but to increase your happiness."
"...."
"...."
"But when your father gives up on you, I'm there, mastiin if you keep it with us. Because I believe you still don't understand the importance of family to you."
Juwita felt her energy drained and she knew she should not drive until the shaking stopped, but emotions kept Juwita going.
"People always say that Banyu is the most selfish. Yes, he is selfish. He's not a lot of friends, busy taking care of his own world, talk about it but Banyu obviously thinks his family, know that his family is important to him!"
When Juwita's voice rose again, it was like a trigger for the Abhimanyu explosion as well.
The young man turned his head and shouted back, "Lo think I'm not trying?! Do you think I want to be like this?!"
"WHO SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU?!" Juwita hit the steering wheel in frustration. "I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU AGAIN?! I ALWAYS HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU, BI?!"
"You don't want me to live alone!"
"I want to leave you from the first time you refuse me, but I'm still here because I'M YOUR PAPA'S WIFE!"
Abhimanyu clenched his hand. "Lo always made it alesan to take care of me. You're just Papa's wife not nyokap me. Lo do not understand about anything, just tell me to understand the feeling of lo who do not want your dream family destroyed. Juwita, you think I'm happy sitting in a family that makes me hurt?"
Juwita stepped on the brake on her leg, not caring if it invited a horn flush. The woman turned her head, looking at the rebel face beside her.
"You think I want to be your family?" juwita said almost without a sound. "You think I really want to be the stepmom who's always been your emotional target? You think you're the only one who doesn't feel happy?"
Juwita has wanted to go a long way since the first time she felt a sense of rejection. But Juwita nailed his own feet in this place and fought hard to be happy here.
So he really didn't want to hear this spoiled whimper from the failed firstborn, about him being unhappy.
*