Mr. Arogan's bride
Punishing yourself

***

When someone is in love, there will be a sense of selfishness called wanting to have and feelings must be reciprocated, but if someone is already in a level more than just love, but if someone is in a level of love, at the stage where his feelings get bigger and deeper, then the person will be happy if the person he loves is happy.

Like Barata, he was tormented for two whole years, every day he wanted to chase after Alina, every day he wanted to step his feet after his wife, but the last words of Alina always held him back.

Barata accepted his loneliness and suffering for two years as part of his sentence, punishing himself for making his wife suffer at the beginning of the marriage.

Due to her never-stable feelings, the pain that also grew with her from childhood made her someone even more cruel and cold at first, but upon seeing Alina and living with her, she becomes the first person to be, Barata saw a new hope, a new purpose in life, now that the goal was gone, the hope was gone.

The only thing that made Barata able to last for two whole years was that he wanted to ensure Alina's happiness, he wanted to make sure that others would treat her well, unlike him who can't even protect his wife.

Every night, in his cold room, his eyes were always awake, once in a while he would look at his side and all he found was emptiness, his heart would hurt once, his tears would just come out, he said, when for decades he did not cry he cried more often since his wife left.

The emptiness in her heart was always treated with photos of Alina sent by her man, Barata still ensure her safety, even though Alina chose to be with others.

Nightmare, when it was a nightmare for him, someone who has a paranoid illness withholds his desires and desires will make him angry himself and suffer alone.

All of it was still circling around Barata's head, this time he had just woken up early, he was looking by his side, he didn't see Alina there, he immediately sat down and rubbed his hair rough.

“It turns out just a dream, I dreamt he came and was with me again, I must have gone crazy! Why does my heart hurt so much, every time I open my eyes it doesn't exist then it hurts so much, is this punishment not enough for me? I've already punished myself, isn't it enough?” Barata rubbed his chest, he sat on the bed.

Now that her hands were already shaking violently, her face was turning pale, her hopes might be too great until she dreamed that Alina had returned to her.

He immediately opened the drawer, but he did not find a cure there, maybe Barata has not realized if now he is in his mansion, not in the house he occupied for two years.

True, for two years Barata routinely took tranquilizers, so that he did not lose control of himself.

“Where, where my medicine,” lamented he could not endure the pain of his heart.

“Cklek!”

When Barata was looking for a cure, Alina actually just finished bathing, she came out of the bathroom and found her husband was rumbling around looking for something, even her hands seemed to shake, his face was once red yet his lips were pale, there was even sweat on his forehead now.

Alina of course panicked to see the state of her husband, she ran and grabbed the hand of her husband who had been looking for something.

Barata looked at the tiny hand that grabbed his hand, it felt a little cold but he knew it was his wife's hand, he looked towards Alina and his empty and suffering eyes could once again be seen by this wife.

“Is this still in my dream? Honey, if my punishment is not over, I suffer once, I am always alone, my heart hurts, I regret ever making you cry, but my punishment hurts me too much,”

“Darling, I don't want to wake up if this is just a dream, how is this? why do you seem real in front of me?” said Barata while touching the face of Alina who looks shocked.

(I swear I'm crying ya nulis this, Barata's law himself because he never hurt Alina, omg)

The strong man who had always been in his shadow, the arrogant man and did not want to lose, the man who had always been a big tree who had always protected him, appeared so weak and suffered once, he said, maybe the events of yesterday and last night he considered only a dream and could not believe if his wife had really returned.

“Alina immediately sat following the position of her husband who had fallen looking for a sedative, she rubbed her husband's cheek with both hands, “Are you like this as long as I am not around? Have you also suffered this much since you were a child?”

“Look at me, I'm here and it's not just a dream, I once promised to stand by you, I won't deny it, I can't see you being so weak like this for punishing yourself, everything is over, it's time we're happy, and all that past and pain, it's not your fault, it's your fault, we're just victims of the cruelty of people and the world, so don't punish yourself anymore, I'm here,”

Alina was crying so much, she did not know if all this time Barata had punished herself, this weak face and her deep eyes, her body shaking violently, she hugged him so tightly, she hugged him so much, he wanted to tell me if everything was okay and he was back.