My Ex
Chapter 2
Nadine throws her cell phone then she kicks everything on her bed in annoyance at her own stupidity.
”self-price cave geez......!!!!!!! die ajalah there..stupid!!!” he still cursed his actions that had humiliated himself.
His phone rang a few times, making Nadine unwilling to take it again out of curiosity.
From: Arka
‘hei, why use that pp?’
‘please change dong’
‘we'll Ease Dine’
‘Clarissa suddenly nelfon cave nangis-nangis’
‘dia angry same pp lu’
‘replace yes, we just got along again’
‘now she's angry again,’
‘mau persuade him tuh hard’
A series of messages from Arka made Nadine upset instead of playing. To be precise, belain tuh girl, whim!, Nadine held back her words so as not to curse again. He deliberately put up their photos to provoke Arka's attention, even though he himself forgot that Clarissa could see it, because Nadine never remembered a contact with Clarissa.
Nadine typed a reply quickly, her heart was completely hot.
To: Nadine
‘cave area, wa wa wa cave, pp cave that has’
‘like like gualah’
Reply Nadine emotion.
Arka read Nadine's reply began to get upset, she clicked with Nadine's action. He still had no reply from Clarissa. Clarissa is a woman who is difficult to be persuaded when angry, and it often makes Arka furious and sometimes angry back at Clarissa, then the woman wanted to hear Arka, Arka, another with Nadine who easily collapsed.
From: Arka
‘please..understand, just replace the pp using another’.
Nadine hissing. It's delicious, muttered Nadine did not accept.
‘GA MAU PP HAS CAVE UP CAVE!’ Nadine replied with great emotion.
‘ok point’ last reply Arka before she blocked Nadine's contact.
Nadine was shocked not to play, because after that she could not send a reply message again, all checks one, last seen Arka was not seen again, and Nadine knew that her contact had been blocked Arka. Nadine smiled wryly with Arka's treatment of her.
“fucking! Lu thought you were..” amuk Nadine looked at her phone.
On the other hand Arka is still struggling to melt Clarissa, all her messages are not answered, many times her phone was ignored.
“oh come on...” he said frustrated, just made up, now it's fighting again.
***
Nadine starts to feel bad, she starts thinking about apologizing, but apologizing to Arka will not be able to, because she has been blocked. Nadine opens Clarissa's contacts and starts typing a message for her.
To: Clarissa
‘I'm sorry, don't fight with Arka, save her.’
‘I've changed the picture, sorry’
Nadine breathes heavily, she doesn't like this. Nadine is too emotional, she should be more calm and elegant, not these bars. ‘Nadine stupid’ umpatnya on yourself. Lama Clarissa replied to his message.
To: Clarissa
‘already, you guys have broken up. Please don't disturb Arka again’
‘don't approach him again, don't find him again, don't contact him again’
‘and don't be friends with him again’
Nadine frowned confused by the reply. Nadine bit her lips riled.
To: Nadine
‘iya cave apologies, just relax dong mbak’
‘lagian she also has block no gua’
Nadine began to be impatient, she bodo very with the feelings of the woman, according to her she was selfish once after ‘merebut’ Arka now even angry so. whereas who is the victim here? Arka first approached Nadine, without knowing her relationship with Clarissa. Nadine felt this was unfair, because after she threw Arka away.
Now as good as jidat come again who said ‘still want to go back’. Nadine really doesn't like this woman.
‘it is better to just resign, keep moving kek to where, far away from Arka, ga ga ga calm if you are still hanging out with him, because you have been dating. And you also still want to be the same Arka.’
Nadine read the message with round eyes, her heart racing hard.
“WHAT THE F*CK, DAMN IT ALSO NI GIRL,!” amuk Nadine's.
“basar ga tau self, has been thrown away now picked up again, which should be angry right cave, if you want to ngusir ga how mbak”
“mad girl!”
Nadine nags in front of her phone like a madman, she does not accept the words of Clarissa.
To: Nadine
‘sorry brother, if you want to ngusir, you tell me Arka back home do not work here again, do not ngusir cave, evil also ya lo’
Nadine really does not like this woman, clearly visible from the look of her eyes.
To: Clarissa
‘sorry cave ga ga rough intention, trauma cave is the same third person, because ortu cave is also so,’
Nadine read it without intending to reply again, she read it with the gaze of ‘bodo amat’.
***
This one week, Nadine really felt lost. What used to be every day there was always an Arka greeting, every night always faithfully listening to his chat on the phone. Now it's all gone. Nadine's phone turned completely dead, as if losing its function. It was sad, Nadine muttered to herself.
Undeniably she felt a little grateful because this week they were another shift, Arka entered the night, and Nadine entered the day. Nadine was grateful for having had little room to get away from Arka. His feelings are still ambiguous and even worse than anything. Nadine was no longer able to contact Arka because the man was still blocking her no.
Since earlier Nadine just opened the messenger read the chat sent Arka, still with frills ‘sayang’ and do not forget with a lot of emotions heart and kiss.
Nadine sighed for the umpteenth time, as if breathing had become a heavy thing for her right now. His chest still felt very tight. Every time he saw Arka online in messenger, Nadine was so seriously noticed, her heart was very troubled. He repeatedly squeezed his fingers out of nervousness. She misses him so much, and she can't lie about it.
The whole day of work feels so long, as if there is no end to it. Nadine returned to the apartment in a very chaotic situation. Never had a Nadine like this before just because she broke up with a guy. It's insanity.
From that moment he only saw his phone back and forth checking the sosmed that he himself knew, Arka would not respond to anything. That guy won't care about her anymore.
Nadine got out of the elevator, but she refused to go straight to the door where she lived, she turned to the balcony. Being there staring at the lights from up here makes it a little comforting. He daydreamed for a very long time feeling the night wind caressing his cheeks softly.
He really misses Arka. It was very desirable that he would go before the man and embrace him, if he could. If only....
Nadine wept in silence, lamenting the fate of her heart. Lamenting this no-man's longing. Sometimes he wiped his tears. Honestly, his chest was so tight, it was as if he was running out of oxygen. There was something very heavy, he suddenly imagined Arka who was on a phone with Clarissa, who should still be with him. Makes Nadine really claustrophobic. He touched his chest and rubbed it slowly.
“ya Allah..I miss him, are you angry with me because my heart is too inclined towards humans? Until you took him from me?” nadine said without a sound, complaining to the owner of the heart, he squeezed his clothes holding tightness in the chest, staring at the night sky with nanar.
Is this how it feels to be heartbroken? As if all dead...
***
Day after day Nadine went through the same way, even she continued to fight with her heart.
‘already, he does not deserve you, he is not worthy for you to think again’
‘stop lamenting and look ahead’
‘do not be busy thinking of him who is even busy with others’
All the voices from his mind echoed giving him motivation and advice for himself. But not so with his heart, his heart still said.
‘mata may forget who he saw, but the heart never forgets who he loves’
Nadine tried to focus on her work, but remembering her own heart, she felt sober. Arka never forgets Clarissa, her heart. That was enough to make him lose his mood all day. Nadine rubbed her face. What he was worried about had happened.
Flasback*
That day, Saturday. Nadine sat alone with Arka, during the midday break. After talking for a long time, Arka began to discuss something very sensitive.
“yang, inget ga equal my status a few days ago?” tanya Arka started a new topic.
Nadine glared for a while, she recalled on Wednesday, Arka made a status on WhatsApp that she thought was a little ambiguous. It sounds more or less like this.
‘2.48 A.m., I'm insomniac thinking of you, making me upset, what's the matter?’
Nadine recalled, as she had replied to Arka's status, asking what she thought of her. Maybe Nadine little ge-er felt that status was for her, naturally. Because he's Arka's boyfriend.
“iya inget ko, do you think what?” nadine asked her question the other day.
Arka smiled as if apologizing to him,
“sorry that, I think I can't lie you, but..that status is not for you,” Arka speech managed to make Nadine confused.
“continue, if not for me, who do you think of?”
“Clarissa,” heard Arka's answer made Nadine's breath choked, her heart felt hit by a large object without cue. Nadine tries to hide her feelings in front of Arka, expression as calm as possible.
“terus?” nadine asked, her voice a little hoarse
Arka was seen letting out a long sigh and thinking about the answer, she grabbed Nadine's hand grasping it as if she was afraid of the girl disappearing from before her right now.
“gue...gue still thinks of him...” Arka's voice hangs, making Nadine's heart unflappable. Nadine looked at Arka very deeply waiting for her sentence to be finished.
“to be honest, I still love him, and .. I still think to wait for him, if he for example wants to come back to me....” Arka's speech is interrupted when Nadine forcibly pulls her hand from Arka's grasp. Arka flinched and looked at Nadine anxiously, afraid that Nadine might get angry. Nadine took a deep breath. Uphold his back and look at Arka straight.
“dengerin cave well Archa.” Strictly Nadine cut off Arka's speech.
“gue love you are sincere, I also know maybe you have not fully moved on from the girl, but if you can be honest, the cave can not nerima half-hearted, but, if you still hope behind the same you, let me back off,” Nadine's speech successfully made Arka furious, he was angry with Nadine.
Arka just poured out what was in her mind, what was bothering her to her lover. But Nadine misunderstood him because he cut off Arka's speech.
Flashback end*
‘itukan only if for example.not fact, not fact,
besides the fact I'm the same you love’.
The days kept changing, it did not feel like a week Nadine did not meet Arka did not contact him as well. And this week, they have to do one shift. Every morning Arka must have come to his place to take a sample of goods, check and make a report. That means they will meet.
Nadine was so worried, she wasn't calm at all. After the break up, will Arka still act as usual to her as if nothing happened? Nadine understands very well with the nature of Arka who is very good at hiding her feelings, as if all is well.
Arka is not the type that frenzied if something shakes him, as evidenced by up to a week, no one knows if they break up, even though many of his colleagues know that they are a couple.
Nadine works very unsettled, occasionally glancing, afraid that if Arka passes to her place, she is confused how to express. Honestly, Nadine couldn't hold back her face. If he likes it will be clearly visible on his face, if he hates it the same.
But it turned out that what he was worried about did not happen at all. Arka did not come to take the sample as usual. It's weird, is Arka avoiding Nadine?
"Erika, you see Arka through ga?” Nadine was curious because from now on she did not see Arka, when it should be that if she entered work, Nadine would have seen it.
“eemm interested, why?” erika is still busy with her work.
“according to you he will come to my place what do you do? Did he accidentally take a sample at my place?” nadine asked, guessing nebak,
“does he mean that? Same bet I Ka, he definitely avoid,” said Erika confidently.
Nadine remained curious, but it was just a cave place she skipped, Nadine thought. But until the afternoon Arka did not exist. Nadine was worried, did Arka not go to work?
Nadine stood up from her workplace and picked up the toilet card, she felt like she had to break for a moment.
Nadine had no idea what she was now walking with half a daydream, arriving at a crossroads. Nadine was surprised not to play, she passed by a person she did not want to see at all.
Arka looked at Nadine in surprise, as did Nadine. For a few awkward seconds, their eyes salling met stopping his second move. Nadine knows Arka will certainly greet her or at least smile at her, because Arka is the kind of friendly, even though she hates someone she will still say hello or throw a smile.
And nadine knew that, he quickly turned away from Arka, and looked at Arka with hatred.
Nadine hated her ex-boyfriend. His heart still hurts.
.....
This morning Nadine felt her body ache, in addition to the burden of work she did almost every day, plus the burden of her feelings...sometimes Nadine is so tired of dealing with her feelings that she still has a hard time controlling. His heart is still turbulent, like a stormy ocean, the waves have not subsided.
Nadine sighed heavily encouraging him to stay calm during the week, because he would indeed continue to see Arka at work because they were still one shift. Nadine as usual put on earphones and played a song to accompany him on his way to work this morning.
The song began to sound slurred in his ears, Nadine pensively staring out the car window, seeing the scenery in the morning.
Too sadistic your way
Make myself
Your love's outburst, your,
To get him back, to you...
Without caring about my pain...
The nengabiannya your pox
Get rid of me, from this romance
So that he comes back to you
Without caring about my pain
May God repay you for everything that happened to you, someday....
Nadine shudders at the sound of her song, as if representing her feelings for Arka. You are indeed a sadistic Arka, inner Nadine miris.
Before long he arrived at work, after passing through the gate, Nadine as usual went straight to the cafeteria for breakfast, because he almost never had breakfast before going to work.
Nadine took the plate, then chose the breakfast menu one by one. He took vegetable lontong for his breakfast menu because he was tired of fried rice. At first glance Nadine caught a shadow from a distance, the shadow walking towards the canteen. Nadine was well acquainted with the figure, Nadine glanced at him briefly to ascertain what she saw with the tail of her eyes.
Almost as he dropped his plate, his heart seemed to bounce for two seconds. Nadine immediately went to look for a bench to avoid looking especially facing Arka on the menu.
Nadine eats restlessly, she deliberately chooses a seat facing the canteen exit so that she can focus on eating without having to steal a look at Arka. Nadine knew him even though he was avoiding Arka very much, but he could not lie to his heart which still could not stay away from the figure of Arka.
Nadine finished her show more quickly than before, she really did not want to keep the dirty dishes she had to lean with Arka. Nadine glanced at the direction where Arka used to sit, Nadine jumped in shock because she noticed Arka and it made their eyes meet.
Nadine condemned his foolish behavior for the umpteenth time.
***
Nadine looks riled when the clock shows almost 9 am, because that means Arka will soon come to her place to take a sample of goods.
Almost every second Nadine looked left and right looking for an Arka figure that she would likely see soon. His heart was very unsettled, one side he wanted to meet Arka, but on the other side he was reluctant to get close to Arka, his heart was still not ready, but he also missed.
Arka suddenly came while Nadine was daydreaming, making Nadine immediately look at him because of the sudden shock already beside him. Arka looked at him with surprise because of Nadine's response to him.
What kind of situation is this, it feels like the cave wants to disappear right now, inner Nadine feels super awkward situation right now.
Nadine turned her gaze quickly, not intending to dodge the sound, and assumed that there was no one in her place.
Arka immediately took a sample of the goods without greeting Nadine in the slightest, making Nadine confused herself. Because normally, Arka would come while saying,
“good morning boss, I want to take a sample,” but the greeting is gone now, just a memory.
Arka did not linger in Nadine's place, she did not make a sound at all. After taking the goods, Arka just left.
Nadine sighed looking at the back of Arka who was away from her place, her heart could only scream calling out to Arka, eagerly she said “Arka, Nadine longs...” but all that just stuck in his lips without anything he said.
He hates such a situation. ‘yawah, break up mah break up, do not need diem-dieman rich so.’ Nadine was uncomfortable. Nadine just wants to be a good relationship and become an ordinary friend, so that she can be comfortable at work without any awkward feelings that make her kill me inside like before.
You used to be the clearest in my eyes, shining the most when others looked blurry. But now you're the most blurry in my eyes.
“Since broken up , enemies. If not enemies, rich people never know it. In fact, it used to be happy for each other. Why?” sindir Erika saw the behavior of Nadine and Arka.
Nadine just smiled in response to the words of her co-worker. Not intending to respond, Nadine resumed her work.
I hurt so deep inside.
***
Wednesday
Third day of the week. Nadine tries to keep cooling down. Arka still blocked Nadine's number, making Nadine more longing, on one side of her prestige is very high, will not be a Nadine said ‘indu’ on her ex. It could destroy his pride.
Arka came to take the sample as usual, but the difference today he made everything go slower than yesterday. He actually watched Nadine intently as if he wanted Nadine to return his gaze. But Nadine is still with her ego, she does not look at Arka at all. There was no conversation between the two. Makes the atmosphere very uncomfortable.
Unintentionally seeing them finally meet, Arka smiles doubtfully, fearing that Nadine would ignore her and turn her face away as she already has. Arka knew very well Nadine avoided him, because a Nadine would not do that to him if not deliberately avoid.
Nadine hesitated to return Arka's smile, only nodding her head in response to Arka. But Arka widened her smile even more got Nadine's response which she thought was the green light to end this cold war.
Neither Arka nor Nadine, both of them like this situation, they want everything to be normal and run normally. Only one partition, Nadine and her big ego.
Seeing Arka smiling so widely, making Nadine flabbergasted, she could barely hold back her happy smile, because she had missed Arka's friendly figure for a few days. Nadine turned her face away pretending to focus on work hiding her smile. He is truly amazing. There was nothing in the eyes of the sought, there in front of the eyes he ignored half dead.
Nadine breaks open an incoming message on her phone, there is a message from Nouval, Nadine's younger brother.
‘ka, you broke up Arka?’ Nadine was confused why her sister could know, because she remembered she had not told anything with Nouval.
‘tau from where you?’ asked Nadine without further ado.
‘liat aja in pp whatapp his photo both the same girl, but the girl is not you,’ reported Nouval.
‘ohh, yes already broken up, try you send screenshootnya cave want to see, because no cave blocked,’
Not waiting for a message to come in, Nadine opened it with trembling hands and a troubled heart. It is clear that Arka put up her and Clarissa's picture. Nadine felt her heart ache so much, Nadine noticed the faces of the two who looked similar.
People say that the soul mate looks similar. Nadine remembered the words of her friend. Nadine smiles sliced, ‘fool huh?’
‘but jude what happened happened, maybe this is the best thing. Coz I can’t stuck in the moment, keep moving on, right?’ nadine strengthened her heart. It feels like the wound that yesterday has not dried, still must be added new wounds. It's sad when he's with the others, but you still lament.
But there is something that makes Nadine curious, Arka has never been overtime since breaking up with him, even though Nadine knows Arka is a diligent worker, rarely he does not take overtime, unless there is urgent business. As when Nadine sulked to have Arka accompany her, Arka would gladly serve her and she always said, Arka will,
‘you are more important than overtime,’ makes Nadine can not hide her pleasure. But it's just a memory that won't happen again.
***
Jum’at
The last day of the week, Nadine finally could breathe more relieved not to see Arka for the next week. Nadine felt she really needed space to get along with Arka again, or at least act normal again. Especially after Nadine found out about Arka's profile photo yesterday.
This morning Nadine was very surprised and happy because, yes you know. Nadine almost every time stalking whatapp and sosmed arka. Suddenly whatapp Arka is seen online. Nadine's eyes flickered quickly to make sure she didn't see wrong. There is a sense of nervousness and excitement when seeing Arka online. But Nadine can't send Arka a message, she's very prestigious even though her miss is not playing.
Nadine provokes Arka by writing a status, and Arka soon sees Nadine's status, making her unable to stop to raise the corner of her lips. He still responds, Nadine's inner pleased. Honestly Nadine had feared that Arka would hate him because of the problem he put up a photo that made Clarissa angry today, until Arka blocked Nadine's number.
Nadine feels there is a green light for her, she wants to improve her relationship with Arka. He wants everything to be normal.
10a.m
Nadine gasped when she smelled perfume she knew exactly whose scent this was, dark temptation, Arka scent. Even Nadine remembers once she asked Arka perfume to keep it, which until now she still keeps in her room.
Nadine's heart was beating fast, she stopped working, slowed her movements. And sure enough before long Arka came with Jimy, Nadine looked at him in wonder. He doesn't usually come together. This time the sample was not Arka, but Jimy. Nadine was a little disappointed.
Arka was just waiting for Jimy to be done with his task. But Nadine knew, Arka was secretly watching her.
When Jimy approached, Nadine realized that the scent came from Jimy, because Arka never got to shower parfume like this. Nadine rolled her eyes irritated. I don't know what's upset about.
***
Time to go home and relax at home. The rain fell quite heavy, making Nadine wet from head to toe. When all her friends ran towards the gate to go home, Nadine chose to walk quickly. Because he thinks running or not remains the same he will rain and make it wet, rather than having to run and risk falling because of the slippery rain, he better walk.
Nadine saw from a distance that Arka was already sheltering at the gate, watching her from afar. Nadine pretended not to see it. Arriving at the gate, waiting for an invitation to come, Nadine chose to serve her friends and joked, laughing. Arka was exactly one meter away from him, watching him with an elusive look.
“if he still wants yaudah cement, gua ok aja. Don't think too much about it, because it's not something to think about either,” Nadine whispered to herself.
After returning from work Nadine immediately took a bath, she did not want to get a fever because of rain. Nadine was lying on her bed, she couldn't lie that she missed Arka more and more. Nadine looked at the photos of so many of them in Nadine's gallery.
Each photo holds a memory, and one by one it attacks him relentlessly, making him a little careless, but still not wanting to stop. This is how you fool feelings. Know no use still continue to be done.
Nadine can only express her feelings in status, because she does not dare to convey it directly to Arka, Nadine wrote..
‘indu..’
he included a photo he took at the front stop of Arka's apartment.
Arka saw the status of Nadine, her own heart was still not willing to let go of Nadine. To be honest, Arka himself is still hurt by Nadine's decision, and he still can't accept Clarissa back, because the injury that Clarissa made was still imprinted in her heart.
Arka felt empty, every time Clarissa contacted him, there was always a reason to reject him, as if reluctant to serve him again. His heart was as troubled as Nadine's. But he himself did not know what to do now. Arka misses Nadine. Arka is very aware of why Nadine behaved like that, she knows Nadine is hurt because of her.
****