THORNS IN MARRIAGE
CHAPTER 108 - STILL WANTING TO BE SELFISH
The doctor allowed me to go home after it was predicted to be just a false contraction.
Bianca had to stay overnight because doctors indicated she had terminal brain cancer.
Mama Tiur, who was diagnosed with the same disease a year ago but is still in the early stages, can only look at me alternately with Mas Jonathan.
Even doctors say, most likely Bianca's age can only last a few months longer.
I'm sad to hear that. But it was even more sad when my in-laws and Husband finally let down on Bianca's last plea to stay until the angel of death picked her up.
I also could not bear to see that woman finally suffer.
But.., I'm afraid Mas Jonathan will be weak as well because it still harbors feelings in the past.
Maybe my jealousy is excessive.
Maybe my fear is too bad.
But.., but I'm really afraid to imagine something that hasn't happened yet. And I don't want that until it happens.
Bianca will be staying temporarily at our family home.
"Darling! Just a few days. Until I can leave it at the Indonesian cancer foundation. I can't just let him on the streets. As a fellow servant of God, it would be cruel if I did. You'll understand, honey!"
I understand, Mas,! That's why I'm just silent when this heart is mixed up.
Jonathan grabbed my shoulder. But now his embrace feels bland to me.
I'mtired.
Or maybe this is because the pregnancy hormones are increasing before labor.
Mas Jonathan should pay more attention to me and also the prospective baby. But he now began to divide his mind to think about Bianca's life as well.
Am I wrong if I am jealous? Can this be called blind love? My jealousy blindly?
My Lord God Azza Wajalla, help me from the weakness of this heart.
Why are you responsible for Bianca's life? Why not just leave it to the state? Or, looking for her extended family who I think would be much more entitled to take care of Bianca and her mother? Why should Mama Tiur interfere in finding her family?
"Ma! As Liana recalled, Bianca had a Grandma! And also a cousin of his mother."
"Yes? Liana know where the house is?"
I shook my head slowly.
But I heard Bianca say the other day when Mama Farida, Intan and Nadya were still around.
"Why not ask Bianca directly?" my question made Mama Tiur cluck and sigh.
"Bianca doesn't want to talk about her family!"
What's behind all that? What's Bianca's plan? Should my husband, too, be aware that there is a veiled conspiracy that Bianca is playing?
"Ma! Doesn't Mama have any suspicions?"
"Honey.., Bianca has been sentenced to a doctor with an age that is only a few months away. How could you still think of doing evil? You didn't hear your own cries of sadness yesterday. Even Bianca said by Allah apologizing from the deepest heart. Yesterday's fitting Liana into the toilet and a false contraction."
Just a sigh and a look in the eyes.
Why is it like this? Why is it God? Why are you trying my heart again to heal? I need attention on exciting days. Oh, God, Karim... Please help your servant!
.............
Before the birth of the obstetrician suggested that I start routine self-examination.
Of course to find out the health condition and condition of the fetus in the womb.
"Come, Honey! Today's schedule check khan?" my husband said enthusiastically.
But inversely with me.
Instead I was like an illfeel for the road together hand in hand like before. Bianca still doesn't live with us
Tong
Tong
"Package!"
Sound from outside the house.
The image soon opened the door.
"Gegee Boss!"
"Ah, come on Cit?"
I can only swallow. My husband's face looks so bright. Even half ran out to meet Citra who called out to him.
"Darling! How's it?"
A cat? Persian padlocked cat?
"Look! What do you think, Yang?" ask Jonathan enthusiastically.
This heartbreak saw the husband who finally allowed me to keep a Persian-Angora cat.
I have expressed a desire to have a pet. I think cats are cute animals.
But Mas Jonathan forbade for fear that my pregnancy was at risk for toxoplasmosis.
Apparently he secretly consulted with obstetricians who became my personal doctor during pregnancy. And it seems, the doctor gave such enlightenment that Mas Jonathan's worries were gone and even ordered himself a beautiful cat to give me.
What's... This included a bribe to let my heart melt and accept Mama Tiur's wish to take care of Bianca?
For some reason, my heart was too filled with anxiety and fear that was not necessarily the case.
I'm so scared.
Afraid Bianca would snatch Mas Jonathan from this heart.
"Liana! Why even cry? You don't like this cat I ordered online? Not good huh? Not in line with your expectations?"
Cry broke.
Why would that stupid question have to come out of your lips, Mom? Wh why?? Why not an apology for unknowingly your kindness and that of Mama who wanted to help Bianca had incised a wound in my heart.
"Hik hik hik..."
Grep.
Someone pulled me into his arms.
"Don't cry, Liana! This guy is cruel. No feelings!"
Jordan's?
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