Being late in love
Dinner
After Surya went back to his room with Iren, I could not resist the turmoil of my heart, how strong I was to endure the pain, it felt like I could no longer bear all the trials that God gave me. I was sick as sick as it was. I have fallen into a pit of suffering that has no basis.
It's not that I can't part with him, I don't want to let our parents down. Especially if they know my husband is doing something that is completely unacceptable and forgiving.
I just want to keep my husband's disgrace. I don't want him to be ashamed of everyone because of his actions, God doesn't like divorce. There was also no reason that I should get divorced from him. I don't want to be a woman who can't kiss let alone enter God's Heaven.
Shahih from Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam that he said, “Whichever woman asks for divorce from her husband without cause, it is illegal for her to smell heaven.” (CHR. Abu Dawud: 2226, Darimi: 2270, Ibn Majah 2055, Amad: 5/283, with sanad hasan)
The place I complained to was on his side. The most comfortable place for me to pour out all my grievances without anyone else knowing. All my pain, all my sorrow, everything about my heart, I just want only the Khalik to know, who created the heart, who knows all the best for each of His servants.
Maybe I was one of the chosen ones to feel His loving kindness. With all the problems God has given me. I believe I can get through it, because God is always with me, with us.
I unceasingly prayed to my Lord that He would always guard my heart, that I might be kept away from the whispers of Satan to be separated from my husband. I also assured myself that one day my husband would love me as much as he loves his other wife.
But I don't know when this secret will be sealed, until when I can avoid the problems that will arise after the parents know this.
I don't know....I didn't think that far. Too scared I thought about it, thinking about my big family's reaction. I just wish there was the best way God had prepared for me in the future.
I dare not imagine what happened between the two of them who started tonight living in a room. It hurts me to remember, but I try to get my husband's heart my way.
After the Maghrib prayer I went out of the room, I walked to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Right in front of my husband's door, I heard them joking around, laughing happily.
I put my dishes and cooking on the dinner table.
I went to their room and knocked on the door.
"Mas, the food is ready, let's have dinner first.."
"Yes, wait a minute." he said from the room.
I sat down at the table and waited for them to eat. I tried to hide my sadness in front of them, especially my husband.
"Let's get eaten, ren.." I give you my best smile.."
seriate....
hu..hu....hu...😭😭
is there a woman as strong as Hana in this world??😢😢
when will Hana be happy?Qt just pray, hopefully soon...😭😭