Dear Me Jesselyn Anastasia
Selfish and Fucking Men

Below, beside Jesselyn was Leon dropping his body, still with his head down he knelt with a disheveled and messy face.

"sorry"

A word came out of his mouth for what he had just done. With the upper body without a thread attached, the palm of the hand that was constantly wiping away tears and the heart that did not stop cursing itself Leon knelt with pity.

"sorry"

Like a boy who was just good at talking and minimal vocabulary Leon constantly just said an apology.

Jesselyn did not flinch at the slightest bit of every word that came out from the mouth of the lips that had just greedily smelled her. His mind was still filled with events that almost made him lose something of the most precious and that he had to hand over to his future man.

"sorry. I was wrong, I shouldn't have been like this. Speak say something" Leon said in a voice no less raucous than Jesselyn.

"Hiks.hiks...hiks..," only a crying voice was heard from the girl.

The anger, resentment and emotion that Leon felt since taking him to where they are now turned into a sense of regret that he could not express with anything.

Leon stood up, trying to approach the girl who was still turning her face in the opposite direction from where she was.

The swaying bed made Jesselyn embrace her body even more tightly making her cry even more unruffled.

"No more brother, don't do it again" Jesselyn pleaded as if Leon wanted to repeat his act again.

"No, I'm sorry. I was wrong and should have been punished" Leon grabbed Jesselyn's hands, which frightened her even more.

"Please brother," Jesselyn tried to pull his hand but Leon held it firmly.

"Are you scared of me now, hem? Are you afraid of this asshole?"

Jesselyn nodded her head but did not dare to look at the face of the young man in front of her.

"Don't shut up, let's hit me, hit me, hit me." Leon said pointing Jesselyn's hands at her face to let the girl vent her anger. "Come, you hit me strong. You can slap me and yell at me. Oh, I know you've been wanting to grab my hair for so long now you can do it as you please. Come on, come on, let's do it. Hug..hug...hug..."

Don't stop Leon led Jesselyn's hand to hit and grab her hair accompanied by tears of regret. He realized his treatment this time would not be easy to forgive.

Leon dropped his head near Jesselyn's feet covered in a crumpled white blanket. "Come on, hit me as you like."

It is not that the more silent the cry of Jesselyn is becoming more and more so.

Jesselyn was unable to describe how she felt at this moment. His fear, his anger and his sadness over Leon's treatment made him feel unwilling to go out and say anything to Leon. But on the other hand, seeing Leon with his situation and crying like now makes him so pity and pity.

"Please don't cry anymore" Leon asked expectantly.

Long enough they curled up in the position of Jesselyn tightly hugging the blanket and Leon who dropped his head near the girl's feet.

****

At one in the morning Jesselyn opened her eyes slowly because she had fallen asleep while she felt tired. His head and eyes felt heavy, probably due to the effects of crying. He lifted his head and as he was about to move his legs he felt something heavy.

The still-silent eyes looked at the body of the man who seemed to also be asleep near his feet.

Jesselyn took one hand out of the blanket, gently stroking Leon's hair so as not to wake him up.

A clear thread dripped back from his eye patch. He saw the surroundings were so messy by clothes, bags and shoes scattered everywhere and returned to Leon who was naked on the top of his body.

"Sorry Jesselyn too, sister, I know you are angry because you know I work and ignore all the messages and phone calls from you" Jesselyn said in a voice that was so slow. "But why did it have to be like this, brother, I'm afraid of Leon's brother like this."

"sorry"

Leon's voice startled Jesselyn, he quickly pulled his hand from leon's hair and broke down her body. He turned his back to Leon and covered his body to the neck.

Leon who turns out not to sleep hears all that Jesselyn says. He sat looking at the body that was behind him. He threw his body down next to the girl who was pretending to be asleep.

Jesselyn's heart was pounding again, feeling the warmth of Leon's breath hitting her face.

"Are you that scared of me, hem?" ask Leon gently. Jesselyn's reflexes nod her head unconsciously if she's pretending to be asleep. "Sleep, we'll be home tomorrow morning."

The work of Jesselyn's heart accelerated when Leon hugged her body tightly making her rustle.

Although it took a long time but in the end Jesselyn was able to sleep soundly different from Leon who was completely awake.

****

"Why not sleep, ma? It's been almost half three in the morning, ma."

"Leon's not home yet, pa. Mama phone ngak lifted, usually if you go home late or stay at home friends always tell mama."

Lena's still awake waiting for Leon who hasn't come home. Actually ever since Leon came back and left again Lena felt that something was stirring her mind. Lena did not know what was bothering her mind but she was so anxious to find Leon who had not come home until the wall clock showed at half-three in the morning.

"Mama's checked into her room and Jesselyn's room hasn't?"

"Have pa, from earlier mama has not heard the sound of the motorbike as well. Mama hasn't slept since."

Bagas pulled his wife's hand to put her head on the pillow. He understood how worried and anxious his wife was at this moment.

Her name is also a mother, no matter how big the child is and no matter how old a child, whose name is still a child who will always be in the heart and mind of his parents, especially the mother who has given birth to him.

"Yes, my mom is sleeping now. Maybe Leon forgot to tell us, didn't you just say that Leon left again because there's business in his office, huh? Leon is an architect who is getting nightly then brilliant ideas to make the design of the image even better. Maybe he's busy at work and forgot the news. So mom slept?"

Bagas gave understanding to his wife although honestly he was also worried and anxious like his life friend but there is no way he showed it when his wife also needs to be soothed.

There was a slight sense of calm in Lena's heart when she heard her husband's words. Her eyes were heavy and finally invited her to lie down next to her husband.

****

While the people were sleeping soundly Leon was still awake. For a moment Leon did not take off his embrace on Jesselyn who had united with her dreamland.

Slowly Leon turned the girl's body towards him. Smudged and sad face, red and swollen eyes and lips that have a little bit of bite wound because the action makes him feel more guilty and sorry.

"I love you so much that I don't want anyone else close to you. I was selfish for wanting to make you my whole life until I almost made the biggest mistake for you. I'm sorry, please forgive me, this selfish, jerk-off man."

Leon took Jesselyn into his arms. A kiss that is so soft he gave to the girl's forehead and did not forget also on the injured lip.

Jesselyn wriggled, she just drowned her head more and more on the chest plain before her face to make the face and chest stick.

"Sleep."

Cup

Once again Leon kissed Jesselyn gently on the forehead.