For A Husband Who Doesn't Love Me
09. Like a Stranger

It's my choice, to feel the pain of not being loved. I must be strong, and I must not give up on the attitude of bang Hidayat right now. I was sure that one day he would come to me, looking lovingly.

After returning from the kiosk, Maira did not want to mince words or just say hello. He knew it was just futile. He went straight to his room, took a shower and cleaned up.

After magrib Maira heard the sound of the motor Hidayat coming out of the yard of the house, his heart again felt sore considering their increasingly disharmonious relationship, moreover, she herself divides the boundary with her husband with the commitment she made.

Maira swallowed bitterly her love story dream. The new bride who should be happy after the wedding, but not applicable to her.

He had his own dinner, and certainly anything in front of him himself.

Early in the morning he also had his own breakfast, with one kind of menu and also quite a portion. She had no duty at all to prepare for all the needs of her husband. Pretty fun, isn't it? But, believe... It's so torturous.

"Well, next week, Mom's coming?" Maira seemed to be in disbelief when she spoke to her mother-in-law over the phone.

"Maira's happy, right?"

"It's so nice, Mother... You're here with me, too?"

"No, I went there with your mother... It's okay, isn't it? We'd like to visit for a few days, miss Mom, son... All of you want to make a pilgrimage to your sister's grave... Anyway, we'll meet through video call only... Hehe, you haven't been married in a week..."

"Yes, Mum... Maira also misses Maira's mother and mother... Yeah, even if we haven't seen each other in a week, Maira's still missing..." Maira's words were so spoiled.

"Oh yeah, Mom, can Maira ask you something?"

"Maira asked what, son? Maira want to bring special cuisine of the village?"

"No, Ma... You don't have to bother... I brought a lot of change of clothes, Maira is happy that Mom has been here for a long time... Maira so there's a friend..."

"Keep, Maira's happy Maira's father is widowed in the village?" Tanya Bu Zainab joked.

Maira laughs. "It's not so, Mom... I'm just-just there..."

"So, what did Maira want?"

"Motor bang Ajiz right said I don't wear it, Maira can bring it here, No? You see the big motor bang Hidayat, Mom, Maira often tingling when diboncengi use motorcycle bang Hidayat..." Clearly making up stories.

"Oh, can-can... Next week I bring you guys... I just rent a car to travel the Dawn..."

"That's a good idea, ma'am... Later Maira said the same bang Hidayat, let Maira send the fare..."

After calling, Maira looked glum. Every time he spoke to the family in the village, he always slipped a story that was only his writing, without any reality that he experienced.

***

Hidayat finished his lecture at half-six in the afternoon, and at the gate of his campus had been waiting for Kirana. He smiled to see his girlfriend wearing a shar'i outfit, as well as a face mask. It is very unfortunate that Kirana's habits every time they meet, must be with different clothes.

"Where is college today? Smoothly?" Kirana extended her hand towards Hidayat.

"Current... How are you filming today?" Hidayat replied as he welcomed his lover's hand.

"Emmm... It's boring..." He answered while holding his hand.

"If it's boring, stop for a moment... You're prettier to dress like this..." Hidayat said so softly.

"I'm not ready to leave the entertainment world... When I'm ready, I don't have to be told to leave... I wait for you to finish college first, continue to have a lot of income... Can, right?" Kirana squeezed Hidayat's arm spoiled.

"Money is not everything, but everything needs money... You know my own needs a lot... But, I promise that I will never trouble you too much in the matter of my needs... I'm going to change, especially for frugality.. "

Hidayat smiled, he rubbed Kirana's head gently. "I never mind your needs, Kiran... As a man, I can understand well the needs of women..."

Kirana smiled. She seemed to be blissful in her eyes. "Come, let's go now..."

Hidayat nodded, then rode his parked motorcycle in front of him and then Kirana followed up behind him.

"Where are we going this time?" Hidayat asked in a slightly loud voice. Even though he was riding his motorbike not too tight, still the roar of the wind was deafening.

"Towards you... I want to go anywhere with you... Ever since you got married, I've been afraid of losing you..." Kirana tightened her grip to Hidayat's waist. He was so spoiled by leaning his chin on the shoulder of a married man.

"So stop at the mosque, we go to the mall, huh?"

"OK..." Kirana Sahut.

Almost every night they spend time together, plus the boredom of Hidayat because of the presence of Maira at home. He felt more comfortable walking with the woman he liked, than with Maira, even though he and his wife were just passing by.

Hidayat drove Kirana home first to the apartment, then he went home, and hoped Maira had locked the door of her room tightly from the inside.

He felt very uncomfortable, because however he still had married the status of his deceased brother-in-law.

When Hidayat opened the door, he was surprised to find Maira still sitting on the sofa watching television. Although he thought his feelings were not there at all for Maira, but his heart could not lie if it looked directly like it made his heart beat fast.

"Lusa, our mother will be here..." Maira said as she rolled her eyes facing the other direction.

"The deer? What's the show?"

"She said, mother misses... Also, you want a pilgrimage..."

After hearing Maira's reply, Hidayat sailed straight to the guest room which is now his private room.

Maira gulped down her rough saliva. His heart was like a sharp knife, sick, but not bleeding. His eyes reddened withstanding the cry, grievously unbearable. Long time he was still there, until at last the door to Hidayat's room again creaked.

Maira, who heard Hidayat's footsteps approaching her, immediately lowered her head to hide the hue of her sad face.

"How's the kiosk this afternoon? What hit the target?"

The first time Hidayat invited himself to speak, but instead questioned about the stall. Maira's heart was getting hotter, but she remained patient with herself. He does not want to be provoked, then give up losing.

"Alhamdulillah, it seems like an excess..." Maira replied that it sounded so loud, then offered a cover bag containing a note about the sale and purchase of the kiosk.

"Good indeed... Mother's first day here, I'll go shopping right away... You can stay with your mother and talk as you please, thankfully tell her about how our real life has been since we got married and lived here .." Saying Hidayat with pongah.

"With that a look later..." Maira got up from her seat and left Hidayat there.

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