The End of Akira
Chapter 36: Dementia

I don't know when all this happened. The more days it seems like Brother hates me the more. It seems like I was a bad boy until Big Brother always scolded me, but I was the one who hated myself the most because I never found and knew where my fault lay.

Do I have dementia? I always remember the things I've been through, but I don't remember if I made a mistake. Therefore Brother always scolded me. Maybe I should just go see a doctor? It seems like my brain is not working properly.

Today is the same. As I recall, this morning I cleaned all the dirty dishes and cleaned the house properly. I didn't do anything at school and went home to change clothes and practice and went straight home, but Brother scolded me anyway. Brother said that I was just making trouble and wasting my time. Is it possible that I did the thing that Brother said unconsciously? I don't know what to do now.

It felt so painful because I had never been scolded by Mama, Papa, even Big Brother all this time. But since Papa's departure 3 months ago, Kak Nao and Kak Shin have often scolded me.

Come to think of it, a lot of things happened after Papa married Mom. Since then, I have felt and experienced many good things and bad things in my life, but I do not blame him. I don't want to have a new family member but I'm happy that Mom treated me like her own son. Mom never did anything bad even to yell at me, she never did.

Yes, this is not the fault of Papa, Mother, Brother Nao, Brother Shin, Brother Yuki or Alya. They are not responsible for my life today. This is purely my fault, my inability to adapt and blend in with Alya and Big Brother's attitude after Alya came into our lives. That's what I've been thinking about all along.

Fear and awkwardness always haunts me if I meet with Big Brother. Indirectly, I closed myself off from my brothers, even though they were all I had right now. 

But I want to go back to how I used to be. Greeting Big Brother every morning without fear and awkwardness, talking many things and smiling. I'd love to do it but I don't know how to do it. How do I do it first? It used to be so easy to do but why is it so hard now?

Yuki's sister also looks very busy with her work. After Papa's departure and graduation from college, Kak helps Kak Nao and Kak Shin manage Papa's company. Brother always said that he was ready to listen to my story but I wasn't good. My sister always looked exhausted when she came home. Brother needs more rest than listening to my useless curses.

Ah right, Sou! Sou was a very very reliable man. He was always there when I needed him, I really loved him. But for this matter, I can't tell Sou much. Although he is very reliable but this is an internal matter of our family. I feel very guilty to Brother if I tell others even to my lover who will keep a secret, that's what I think.

I really don't like Alya. Hate huh? I don't know, but his attitude all along seemed to want me to think that this was all his fault. The night the accident happened, he yelled at me. He said that if I was the cause of his mother's death, my father also left. The next day he accused me of stealing, going to a nightclub, and told me that I bullied my schoolmates, so I was often scolded by Brother. How much and in any detail I explained Big Brother still scolded me, they believed him. Now, I blame him again.

But I'm grateful that Bi Nanas has been working at our house since Papa's departure. Papa didn't allow ART anyway, so Kak Nao hired ART to help us take care of the house. I was busy with school exams too.

Aunt is a good man. He took care of us very well, although I always woke up earlier than my aunt. But at least I was helped when I went to school and rehearsal. Maybe bi Nanas is also the only person I can talk to at home casually other than Kak Yuki. I am so thankful that my aunt works in our house.

But with this, I became more independent. I can't continue to rely on the other Brothers, yes even though Kak Yuki still always takes me to school in the morning. This is a valuable experience of my life. It hurts a lot, but I don't hate it so much.

"It feels more relieved after writing a few sheets. This is my first time writing a diary like this. It was quite fun too" Akira smiled. Her net twinkled staring at every scratch of the pen on her beautiful purple book.

...****...

"about!" An ear-piercing cry from Shinji greeted Akira in the morning.

Akira quickly turned off the stove and rushed over to his brother.

"What's up, brother?" Ask Akira from the kitchen.

"Come on Big Brother now!" Firmly Shinji pulled Akira's arm.

"Tu-wait, brother, don't pull!"

Shinji ignored Akira's words. No matter whether his sister was in pain or not, he continued to drag her into the living room where Naoya and Alya were already.

"Sister won't be pleasantries, what is this?" Naoya's question showed him a heart-shaped silver pendant.

"That's Kak's locket" explained Akira puzzled.

"Why can Alya's locket be under your bed?" Naoya asked back. The intonation is still low as usual.

"Under the bed? Sorry brother, Akira does not know" said Akira again made confused.

"Don't lie Akira!" Alya's jerk to Akira.

"Sister can still forgive you if you admit your mistake now" Naoya said. His face turned stern, Naoya was angry right now.

Again like this..

"Sorry, but Akira really doesn't know anything. Akira does not know how the locket could be under Akira's bed. Akira really does not know, Brother" explained Akira again.

"Don't lie Akira! I know you want it so much, right? Why don't you just talk to me, you don't have to steal it!" Alya's back.

"I told you, I don't know anything. I have a lot of pendants, why should I steal yours?" Akira is back. His net widened, staring in disbelief at what this half-brother had just said.

"My brother never lied like this, he's an honest man. Confess, we will forgive you" Shinji explained looking into Akira's eyes.

"But Brother, Akira didn't steal it. Akira didn't do it" Akira told Shinji.

"KIRA!" 

The thunderous sound made everyone who heard it gasp. None of them budged after hearing Naoya's usually calm cry.

"Confess right now, before Big Brother loses his temper!" There was an emphasis on every word Naoya spoke. 

Akira lowered his gaze. Her net was slowly shiny from shock and fear seeing her Brother actually getting angry like this. Not for Akira alone, but for Shinji and Alya this was the first time Naoya was so furious.

"Sorry Brother, but Akira didn't."

In that instant, Naoya raised his hand, slapping Akira's cheek hard enough to leave a reddish mark there.

Netra Akira. His body was sculpted for a moment. His mind started to get messed up.

"Sister never taught you to steal! Is the pocket money we always give not enough to buy a pendant like this huh?! I can't believe you're gonna grow up to be a criminal like this Akira. Don't ever expect you'll get money from us again. Don't be hurt, this is a punishment for a brat like you!" Naoya's jerk to Akira. His eyes reddened with his jaw hardened, Naoya looked at his sister who was bowing her head.

Shinji and Alya who saw it also looked at it in surprise. They did not expect that Naoya would slap Akira like this.

"You are also Shin, from now on you don't need to give him any money. It's his own fault, let him use his own brain. Tell Yuki too. We've been educating him wrong all this time. I'm sorry" Naoya explained to Shinji.

Slowly clear grains dripped from Akira's beautiful eyes. He bit his lower lip so as not to sob. Her tiny hands squeezed the skirt she was wearing. There was not a word Akira said as well as his stuffing. Akira only cried with the head he had bowed.

After his brother left him, Akira slowly turned his face. That beautiful face had been flooded with tears that were flowing very rapidly.

"Did Akira do it? Did Akira really steal it? Ah looks like Akira is really having progressively worse dementia. I really have to go to the hospital" Akira muttered staring at the room lights. Although her face looked very calm but her tears could not hide the pain she was feeling.

"Miss.."

"Ah, don't look at me bi. Please turn around for a moment, I can't show my weak self" Akira said. She then wiped her tears and tried to calm herself.

"Sorry bi, what's wrong?"

The sweet smile engraved on the beautiful and puffy face made the maid fixated on the place with a pitying face.

"Miss.."

"Don't look at me like that bi, I'm fine. Sorry for making such a scene early in the morning. The food is ready, auntie please call the other brothers yes. It's already quite noon, Akira has to go to school. Please bi, thank you."

Without waiting for an answer from the aunt, Akira then walked towards her room to pick up bags and other supplies.

How'this? Brother really hates Akira now. Did Akira really steal it? What if Akira admitted it would all be easier?

Akira shed his tears again. Both of her hands were busy wiping away the tears that kept coming out even though Akira did not want it.

Big Brother's slap did not hurt at all, but Akira's heart was even in pain. It's Akira's fault for stealing it but why can't Akira remember it at all. Akira did it but why can't Akira remember it?! If this continues, Akira will only make Big Brother hate Akira even more.

"About gone" said Akira to leave the house.

"Non, the provisions" said the aunt gave a lunch box that had been prepared by Akira for herself as well as for Sou.

"Thank you bi, I'm leaving" Akira smiled.

"Be careful Non" said the smiling aunt.

"Since the first time I came and worked in this house, it seems like their relationship is indeed not good. But still, pity Non Akira."