Being Married to My First Love
Do you love him?

Last night contemplating his mistake, this morning Immi Aini also intends to come to the hospital to visit Mr. Abu at once to apologize to Cindy's family. She felt some discomfort because her husband and Fadhil were avoiding her. From dawn, Ustadz Maulana busied herself in the pesantren until there was no time for Ummi Aini to talk to her husband.

Similarly, Fadhil since early in the morning has gone somewhere. Now Ummi Aini feels her life feels very lonely away from her husband and children.

After taking care of the kitchen shopping needs and preparing the menu for breakfast and lunch of the students with one of his confidants, ummi Aini hurriedly prepared to go see her brother Cindy at once to apologize.

Ummi Aini went to her husband at the boarding school to ask permission to go to the hospital.

"Well, I'm going to the hospital to visit Abu's deck at once to apologize to his family" said Ummi Aini.

"Go!" answer ustadz Maulana briefly

Umm Aini kissed the back of her husband's hand, "Assalamu'alaikum, bah!"

"Wa'alaikumussalam!"

There was no conversation between them other than that. Ummi Aini also felt increasingly sad because it continued to be ignored. But he deserves to be treated like that because he did something wrong.

He knew Cindy was a good boy. I don't know why he's so stupid for worrying too much about heredity. God showed him that he was wrong. Cindy became pregnant shortly after marriage. He really felt very sorry.

"O Allah, forgive your servant, O Allah!" ummi Aini gumam.

After her son-in-law had a miscarriage, Ummi Aini became restless. His hope of soon getting a extinct grandson was already. He kept thinking that it was a rebuke from God for his actions against Cindy. While walking towards the stop to intercept the taxi he kept wiping away his tears.

Arriving at Ummi Aini hospital was welcomed by umminya Cindy.

"Mbak Aini, alone Ma'am? Come sit down, Ma'am!" ummi Cindy leads Ummi Aini to a sofa in Cindy's VIP room.

Ummi Aini felt very embarrassed because she was treated very well by umminya Cindy, even though she had done something wrong to their child.

"Yes, Deck. How's the deck Abu doing?" tanya ummi Aini is stale.

"Good, Ma'am. Thank goodness!" said Cindy's brother.

"Sir, I came here because I have something to talk to you about," Ummi Aini held Cindy's hand, "Please forgive my mistake, Dek!"

Again ummi Aini cried because she realized her mistake.

"What do you mean, Mommy, which mistake, Mommy?" cindy was surprised to find Ummi Aini crying.

"You would have known if I had asked Cindy to cancel Fadhil's sermon back then? I'm really sorry, Dek. Please forgive me for hurting your heart. Especially to Cindy, I had let her down and left her very hurt back then. My sins are so great to you, please forgive me, Dek!" ummi Aini said with a sobbing cry.

"Ohh, so this is your candidate who asked Cindy to cancel her sermon!" suddenly budhe Asri entered after the cafeteria bought food.

"Your mouth is so spicy, ma'am. He refused my nephew on the eve of his wedding day. Do you know how my sister had to bear the shame of all the close relatives who had heard the news and suddenly canceled marriage. Not many blamed Cindy because at first we thought Cindy was unilaterally canceling the marriage. You are heartless!" namel budhe Asri who has known the story behind the cancellation of Cindy's wedding plan with Fadhil.

"Mbak, stop. We leave everything to God" Ummi Cindy told her sister-in-law.

"Mbak Aini, to be honest at that time I was very hurt as a mother who knew her child was treated like that. I am very sorry that it can be done by you who are known as good Muslims. However, we do not hold grudges, only I beg you to think first before speaking. The last time you spoke to Cindy it made her come back hurt. Help you introspect yourself so that it doesn't repeat itself to others."

"I have basically forgiven you. His current wisdom, due to your actions, is that Cindy has found the right match for him and he has been trusted by God to contain a fetus in his womb. I believe that God will reward every action. Those who sow good will reap happiness. Those who sow wounds will surely get their own rewards. Repent and ask for forgiveness for what you did. My husband and I have forgiven you, and so has Cindy, I am sure my son has a big heart to forgive your mistakes. However, I ask that you do not have to see Cindy to discuss this again, this will only reveal her injuries again. I don't want Cindy to remember the pain she's been through. Let me tell you this myself!" umminya Cindy said at length.

"Alright, Deck. Thank you for forgiving me, Dek. I promise I won't repeat it again. Please tell my real apologies to Cindy's son. I have been getting punishment from Allah deck, my son-in-law had a miscarriage, this time my husband and also Fadhil are angry against me. I'm really sorry, Deck. I beg you to go home, sorry to interrupt your time. Thanks again for forgiving me! Assalamu'alaikum!" ummi Aini got up while wiping the tears that had wet her cheeks.

"Be careful on the road, Ma'am. Wa'alaikumussalam!"

Budhe Asri shook his head to watch Ummi Aini pass.

"Patience, Ma'am. Emotions will not solve the problem. I just don't want revenge to take over our hearts. Allah is Forgiving. Why should we dirty our mouths to judge the actions of others. There we will have sins. Let God repay him."

"Astaghfirullahal! I got mad at myself earlier, Dek!"

****

Fadhil came to his father-in-law's house to pick up his wife. After that, he took a walk together to get rid of the pain in his heart. At this time he desperately needed a place to lean, and to his wife he came to be able to heal the wounds of his heart caused by his umminya.

After being in the boarding school, Fadhil tried to occupy himself with the students by playing ball in the afternoon. He chose not to engage in conversation with his umminya. His heart wound had not dried up. But he doesn't really hate his umminya. It just takes time to heal his wounds.

Even dinner feels different. There was no chatter or cheerful face on the faces of Abah, Ummi and Fadhil.

"Mas, did something happen when I wasn't around?" tanya Tia Fadhil's.

"What's the matter, Dek?" ask Fadhil.

"The atmosphere in this house is cold, Mas," Tia felt as if there was a problem in her husband's family.

"Well, I'll tell you. I don't want you to hear this from anyone else. But, please do not misunderstand me first," said Fadhil gently to his wife.

"Yes, Mum."

"Before I married you, I had been through ta'aruf with a girl, and continued to the stage of preaching it. And we agreed to get married. However, two weeks before our wedding day the girl was convicted by a doctor of a cyst and underwent surgery. When I went to his house, he suddenly canceled the sermon with me for no apparent reason. I honestly feel disappointed and hurt. Not long ago Ummi forced me to marry you. And yesterday I just found out if Ummi was the one who asked the girl to cancel my sermon at that time. With the reason Ummi was afraid he would not be able to give offspring. I'm really disappointed in Ummi, Dek!" fadhil said at length.

"Astaghfirullahal'adzim, I can feel how hurt the girl is, Mas. He must have had some tough days back then. But may I ask, my. Does Mas Fadhil still love her?" tia asked worriedly.

Fadhil was silent, he himself did not understand his current feelings. He loves his wife, but he does not deny that he harbors a sense of Cindy.

"Mas doesn't need to answer, I already know the answer from your silence, Mas," there was a stroke of sadness on the woman's face. It is undeniable that she felt jealous knowing that there was another woman residing in her husband's heart. He then moved to get out of the room.

"Wait, Deck!" Fadhil held back his wife's move to renounce their room.

"Sit down, I haven't finished speaking yet" Fadhil pulled his wife's hand back to sit down.

Tia obeyed her husband's orders.

"Please listen to me first, Dek. I'm not gonna lie to you and cover it up from you. Maybe because there was a wedge in my heart about the clarity of the matter, I kept remembering it because I felt there was an unresolved problem between me and him. All this time I've learned to love you, Dek. But of course it was not easy for me to move to another heart in this short time. Please give me some time, I'll prove it to you, Dek. In the future there will be only your name in my heart!" fadhil said softly to reassure his wife.

"Alright, Mas. I'll look forward to that time. I'll be patient waiting for you, Mum!" tia seseku said.

"Thank you, Deck. Love you!"

Fadhil hugged his wife gently and gave a kiss at the top of his wife's head. He felt he had no burden on his shoulders, having told his wife everything. He will learn to love his wife.

_______________________Ney-nna_______________

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