Heaven on lara
Chapter 4. Losing 'Home'

"LAD ME, MAS!"

Zoya's voice echoed across the room. Zoya's words really make Zada's breath tight, his heart seems to stop working. Zada was silent with a wound-filled look.

Zada knew that, Zoya would definitely ask for that. But, Zada will not obey Zoya's wishes. "Amuva ... We can talk good. I have a reason why I should marry Ghaida," said Zada, feeling guilty.

Zoya smiled wryly. "What is the reason that makes you want me, Mom?" Zoya tries to act as calm as possible. In fact, there was no vibrating tone to his voice.

Zada exhaled his coarse breath before replying. "Ghaida is pregnant," Zada replied without looking at Zoya. Zada is unable to look into Zoya's scarred eyes caused by her.

Zoya felt, the earth had stopped to turn, the sun had stopped to rise, the rainbow had not appeared again after the rain. Dingy. One word that could describe Zoya's current mood.

Zoya roared again in her tears. Zoya no longer knew Zada, as her husband. Zada has changed and that change has made Zoya lose her way.

Seeing Zoya's messy state, Zada intends to give a hug. He approaches Zoya to calm down. Zada's heart was like being slashed by a thousand paints to see Zoya who was so hurt.

Zada was also hurt by having to make this decision. "Zoya ..." call Zada softly. Zoya looked up, her eyes clashing with Zada's reddened, watery eyes.

Zoya stopped her crying. "Mas, no matter how much you hurt me, I still cannot hate you. I'm actually getting scared of losing you. Weird right? I'm too stupid and very stupid" Zoya's voice raucous and so heartbreaking to anyone who hears it.

Zada undoes his intention to embrace Zoya. He keeps watching what Zoya is going to do.

Zoya hits her own head because she's already too blinded by Zada's love. Zoya also hit her chest to make the tightness disappear immediately and changed with relief.

However, that did not get Zoya. Zoya sure, she must look so pitiful. But, Zoya did not care about the response of anyone who thought it was weak.

Zoya will shed all her tears today. And for Zoya, no more tears will fall. Her tears were too precious to cry for someone who had already made herself hurt.

"Amuva ... Don't hurt yourself. I'm sorry I had to do this wedding. I—" Zada's speech stopped because Zoya had raised her hand so that Zada would no longer speak.

"Right me, Mas!" Again, Zoya charges the word talak to come out of her husband's mouth. Zada shook his head weakly. He wouldn't do that.

"No, Zoya. I won't talk you out. You will still be my wife" Zada said with eyes full of wounds.

Zada slammed into the floor. He was drowning like he had not eaten three days and three nights. Zada lowered his head and closed his eyes tightly. "You'll stay here, Zoya. What if you just stay? Who will take care of all my needs? Can I have a hard day without you? I'm not sure Zoya ...."

Without notice, a clear liquid dripped from the corner of Zada's eye. Zoya can see that. There is deep pain there. Zoya tries to take back her. Trying not to be persuaded by her husband. Even though Zoya saw sincerity when Zada said it. But, Zoya wanted to be selfish for once.

His feeling was very painful and sad. He wanted to calm himself first. "Let me alone time, Mom. I want to be alone at this moment," Zoya's pinta was weak, her gaze blank.

Zada was not willing to go from there. 'Maybe it's true, if I have to give Zoya time to calm down, ' Zada's monologue in heart. "Allah ... Don't be so long in this sadness,"

Zoya could see Zada's back away. Zoya looked at him with a slashed heart. Her husband is married again. A reality that Zoya desperately wants. But it was so real.

"Geek, huek." Zoya's stomach suddenly flares up. Zoya slightly ran towards the bathroom to spill her entrails. "Geek, huek." Only a yellow liquid came out of Zoya's mouth. Zoya tries to think for a moment and is aware of something. 'Yes it's just a liquid, I haven't eaten since, ' Zoya's mind is looking for answers to her confusion.

After washing her face, Zoya looked up to stare at her sad face and puffy eyes in the mirror. Zoya sees her appearance as so bad. 'I think Zada should get married again. I'm the one who's not self-conscious, ' monologue Zoya smiled sorely.

Zoya returns to rest as her body suddenly feels weak. Zoya rests herself on the bed in a curled position. His mind was in Bayangi by Zada's remark that Ghaida was pregnant.

Zoya's tears are shed again. Zoya is so self-pitying that she has not been able to give a child to Zada. 'I guess I was the one with the problem. The proof, mas Zada can impregnate Ghaida. I am useless, ' said Zoya blaming herself.

The day has turned dark. It was even very dark because the moon and stars were not present to decorate the sky wall. Seal and get as dark as the room that Zoya is currently occupying. Precisely, in Zoya's and Zada's room first. Yes, only then, because right now, Zada must be sleeping with Ghaida.

Imagining that, Zoya grew sobbing in her tears. "Mother ... It hurts so much. Zoya doesn't know if she's gonna make it or not, Bun. Mother ... Zoya kangen the same, Mother," is heard slicing the heart. The mother Zoya calls is gone in the world. The mother has gone home to her Lord.

"Dad ... Dad is the only man in the world who has never hurt Zoya. Father's love is so great for Zoya. Zoya wants to be in my arms again. Zoya wants to be a kid again if knowing being an adult is complicated. Father ... Your daughter is too weak without a man next to Zoya. Mas Zada's ... He's married again. Zoya doesn't know who to turn to, Zoya,"

Zoya is monologuing as if talking to her parents who died a few years ago. Yes, Zoya has become an orphan. Zoya thinks Zada will always be there for her, will always accompany her. But Zoya is wrong, her husband has betrayed her marriage.

Zoya is so excited that she has trouble breathing. However, Zoya is a woman who has a fragile side. Moreover, all this time Zoya is very dependent on her husband. Zoya seems lost and does not know where to go.

Because of something he called 'Home', it's not as comfortable as it used to be.