Remember You
The Nightmare's

Once upon a time, when it was too early to understand, I believed so much in fairy tales at night. About the circle of life full of affection. Where we are free to express our expression. Laughing cheerfully while running gleefully to and fro. Never once thought there was a handful of bitter that anytime ready to come approaching.

That was bad enough. Too stupid to know. It is still short-sighted to understand that all of it is just a fiction. Imaginary works that do not always end beautifully according to expectations.

A few years ago, when I was five. It is so clear happiness from the sweet face that is very in elu-elu. Still well remembered, at that time I wore a snow-white party dress, long hair that was parsed to the shoulders, until a conical hat was placed on my head. Sit cross-legged with bright sparkling eyes. Waiting for the mother who is turning off the fire on the five-numbered candle wick.

Rinai raindrop became my pseudo-song chant that seemed a little sad. Only my mom and I celebrate. I can't join because there's something that needs to be done.

Mother asked me to say a prayer in the last few seconds before blowing out the candle. I obeyed him and immediately prayed to God if I wanted Dad to come home, so the three of us could celebrate together. It's okay even if it's late, I don't mind it at all. And the same thing she did, she prayed, but I did not know what prayer she was praying. He was crying silently. Then smiled strangely as he realized I looked at him in astonishment.

"Happy birthday beautiful mother's daughter. I'm sorry, I couldn't make it as promised yesterday. But don't be sad, I've prepared a wonderful gift for this lovely mother's daughter."

I thought the 'Excellent gift' that mom meant was a doll gift or something. Turns wrong. I never expected this before.

Mother gave me a glass of water with a fairly murky color. It smells a little bit stinging and is not foreign. He asked me to drink it until it was over. It was very bitter and I gulped it down to the last drop.

It didn't take long until I realized there was something strange about the drink. It wasn't medicine or supplements that could make me turn strong. I fell down, my throat hurt so much. My body convulsing. I tried to ask Mom for help, but she walked towards the bedside. Crying loudly while occasionally glancing at me who tried to call out his name repeatedly.

DOR'S! Mom shot herself in the head, broke. All the stuff in his head came out.

Since then I have been traumatized.

Even until I was seventeen, the memory was still stored so well in the memory vault. Presents a dark side that can never be forgotten forever. It was too painful, until I could no longer describe how my sweet smiling Mother's face was full of warmth. Only the moment where he killed himself was always imagined in wishful thinking.

My life changed one hundred and eighty degrees after my mother's departure. I was declared in a coma for a few days, the drink I gulped down was insect poison. Even today I just realized that the 'Excellent gift' that Mother meant was death. He wanted to take me to die with him in a different way.

I've never been angry with Mom, even though I'm entitled to it. No one knew what the exact reason was until he was determined to end his life in this stragic manner. All choose to silence indifferently until over time the case of Mother seemed to begin to be forgotten without any bright spots at all. That makes me even more sure that there is one big thing that is deliberately hidden.

When I was six years old, my father moved to America to take care of the Overseas branch of the IFC OFFICE TOWER company. Oma and Opa - my father's parents - also forced me to go along with him, even though I had repeatedly refused him until my throat became inflamed. I was also required to go to school with a homescooling system from Kindergarten to second grade High School. My relationship was limited and Dad was silent. My childhood is gone and I'm not as happy as the kids out there.

No matter where the wind came from, in the end opa asked Dad to return to Korea. Not without reason, there is an empty Director seat that must be filled immediately by him.

"Alena Mega Frananda's. You can call me Alena. I hope we can all get along soon"

Everyone looked at me full of attention. Someone was whispering. There were also those who immediately threw intimidating gazes. Everything still feels foreign to my presence as a new student here.

A few minutes later until all attention is distracted by a hand that shakes high. He's a boy. Sitting on the corner of number two from behind while tilting the corner of his lips.

"Seonsaeng-nim, is not it a rule that a student should not look like a man? and vice versa?"

Teacher Debora, the beautiful teacher's mother who had been accompanying me to introduce herself then gave a knotty smile. "American and Korean cultures are different. So, your job is to help Alena achieve standardization of rules here. You understand?" All compact nods its head constantly as a form of displacement. No one dared to pucker up after that.

"Okay, Alena, your seat is in the back corner" the teacher pointed her index finger at the bench that was at the end of the world. I nodded in understanding, then stepped forward.

Everything still felt normal until finally a foot-level blocked the road - stopping me on purpose. I might just stumble forward if I don't pay attention to my steps well. The horse-like long legs apparently belonged to the man who had just raised a sarcastic question for me.

Next to my eyebrows raised high. Ask through expression. Netra we also had a chance to meet a split second before she turned her back to the girl sitting right beside her.

"Cupu, you're the one sitting in the back" he spoke to the girl, but unfortunately was rejected outright with a headband "Come on! I want to sit with this tomboy"

Hearing her talk made me roll my eyes. Don't forget that the legs of the horse are still holding my motionless steps.

"Cupu"

It doesn't feel like it can stand it. My finger grabbed her neck collar, and I pulled her up to force her to stand up. The black backpack that was lying on his seat then I threw it towards the back bench that was supposed to be my place. The man was grumpy when without permission I occupied his seat, while he was grunting because he had to sit there. No matter the dozens of pairs of eyes staring at us in disbelief.

"You fuck-"

"Whisper!"