Remember You
SINCERE

I stopped by the distro across the street from the hospital to buy new clothes. There's no way I'm going to meet Dad in a uniform that's still soaking wet. Don't want to make it think.

Taking a deep breath, then exhaling slowly, I began to open the door of the room where Dad was being treated. One scene that welcomed my arrival was the precision Aunt Renata sitting next to the gurney while Father was closing his eyes, sound asleep.

Aunt Renata immediately turned her head towards me, she was ready to stand up straight when she realized my existence was already standing a few steps away from the patient's gurney.

"Oh.. Alena?" He sounds a little nervous. "Just got home from school, huh?"

I smiled, then nodded. Confused what to react. Moreover, when remembering the words Oma in the car earlier. Success makes me feel weird and upset at one time.

"Because Alena is here, Auntie wants to return to the office because there is still business that must be resolved immediately. Alena doesn't mind, does she?" tanyanya while taking her bag placed on the sofa.

"Yes" I replied briefly.

"Later Uncle Melvin will be here a little afternoon" he added. "If there's anything Alena can call Auntie."

I nodded again. I don't know why suddenly I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

"Auntie go first." Aunt Renata immediately came out of the ward shortly after the break.

I'm sure Aunt Renata knows that I've been told the truth about this matter. Evidently he seemed to deliberately avoid me because he might also be confused as to what to react. Well, the only thing I have to do now is accept the truth. Even though a million percent is not willing.

After standing for a long time - three minutes in front of the gurney while daydreaming indistinctly, my legs began to tingle. So, I decided to sit on the chair that was originally the place where Aunt Renata stopped by to accompany Dad.

I silently looked at her body that looked thinner. His cheekbones became increasingly visible. His eye bags were blackened with a pale, dry face. I can't believe Dad's really serious about what he's saying about hunger strikes. Totally pathetic. And the cause is me, the selfish child, Oma said.

My hands were moved to get rid of the haircut that covered my father's plenary eel. I smiled faintly when I saw that there was some white gray hair between her thick black hair.

"Enh..."

Hearing that groan, I spontaneously distanced the hand from its existence.

"I'm sorry, I woke up Dad," I looked at Dad as he opened his eyelids, then blinked glare at him for not being used to the intensity of the light.

Instead of being upset, Dad smiled. "Alena is here?... for Dad?"

For some reason, my heart suddenly broke.

"Dad's glad Alena came," he said without a lie. His eyes were so sincere. His hand that was attached to the infusion hose slowly moved towards my cheek. Keep it warm, even though I feel the fingers are trembling.

The defense I made so that as much as possible not to cry in front of him collapsed. I was crying, again. So crybaby.

"I'm sorry Alena, Dad," I lowered my arms, then looked at her with a sorry glow. Feel very guilty. "Alena is really sorry. Dad got this way because of a selfish and childish kid like me. I should have been more understanding. Sorry."

"Stop blaming yourself," Dad's eyes began to glaze over. "This is all because of Dad's stupidity."

"Stop blaming yourself, too. I have a reason to do that too."

Dad breathed heavily. "Irena"

"Yes?"

“Can Dad have a hug? Father felt very desperate, "he asked the raucous one that I moved with a slow nod.

A few seconds later, Dad tilted his body, then patted the side of the mattress gurney that was still Loose. "Get it."

Without wasting any time, I immediately climbed onto the top of the gurney. Spitting a hug on Dad's body. Drown the face on his chest while holding back the cries that seemed to be flooding back into the cheeks.

"Dad misses a spoiled Alena like this." Dad stroked the tip of my hair with his other, uninfused hand. I think I want to say the same thing. I miss Dad. So missed. But. I'm too prestigious.

"I'm sorry Dad, for everything that's happened."

In her arms, I nodded small.

We hugged each other long enough. The more time goes on, the tighter it feels. As if you don't want to be separated. Father and son who long for warmth.

"Dad.." call me clean, then look up to look at his face.

"I want to ask, but no offense."

She smiled, "Alena can ask Dad anything without asking permission."

"Does Dad still love Mom?" I asked half in doubt, I spontaneously turned my gaze in the other direction because I could not bear to see the look on Dad's face that suddenly turned sad.

"Not to be answered is okay, really. Alena just wanted to ask, not accept the answer." I was stupid. There should be no need to bother asking questions like that.

"Dad didn't have to answer Alena's question" he said. "Because Alena knows the answer to that."

I still love Mom, but not as big as I used to be. That's what I know - I mean, I believe.

"One more. Alena wants to ask one more." Let's just say I'm really stupid.

"Dad... Like kangen Mommy doesn't?"

Not immediately answering, Dad turned to take a deep breath. As if preparing a long answer.

"No."

My expectations are too high. I'm a little disappointed.

"Oh."

"You know why Mom and Dad gave you the name 'Alena Zender?" Father asked back. I looked back into his eyes, then shook my head constantly in response.

"Alena's name has an extension," he said.

"What?" I'm curious.

"Alena, son of Lucas DENA," he answered, breaking my curiosity.

So, Alena; 'Zender' is the surname and 'Alena is the son of Lucas denA, right?

"Dad never misses or misses Mom," Dad said, suddenly reminding me of my second question.

"Because there's a mother inside you. I always see Mom in your face" he added, making me a success moved.

"When your mother was pregnant, I always prayed that your face look like Dad's, or at least fifty-fifty. After birth, it turns out that 90% of your face looks like your mother. The bigger the more similar. Well-favoured. But I was a little sad at the time. Usually girls are identical to the genes of the father. But after it all went by, I realized why God didn't grant Dad that one prayer," Dad paused the story, then kissed me three times on the forehead.

"Every time I see you, I feel like I have hope for life. Dad's heart always says 'there's my blood and Dena's in his little body, he has to be happy at all costs'. As if not allowing Dad to just give up with the situation. Therefore, I'm really sorry for having disappointed you. I'm sorry, "he ends the story.

I smiled, then nodded. Accepting his apology.

"Dad" call me, again. "I know everything."

Dad's sad look, now turned confused.

His forehead wrinkled. "Know what?"

"Everyone," I said. "Aunty Renata and your wedding plans."

Dad's reflexes stammered, "T-wait! I-it's not like yang_"

"Alena's okay, really," my interuptials before Dad gets the sentence done.

"Mom told you?" Dad's worried. His eyes demanded an answer from me.

However, instead of answering the questionable, I actually re-submerged my head in the chest of his field. "It's okay. It's Dad's life, so you deserve to be happy in your own way."

"But_"

"Alena is trying hard to let Dad go with other women for Dad's happiness. So please appreciate Alena's efforts" I obviously want to be given some understanding.