My Heart Was Wounded Deep
Chapter 48's

"Today you just shut up" said his mother. "Why?"

Kikan spoke behind the hissing sound of the pot, this time the chicken soup menu. Something a little lower in fat than what Lis's mother used to eat. He stopped in front of the market on his way home from breakfast. "Not just thinking."

"About.... "

"My life. I got a lot of orders." replied Kikan.

Since her mother's recliner was the only chair that made her feel comfortable, she had moved it to the kitchen a long time ago, right next to the table. "How much have you done this week?"

Kikan could see his mother's satisfied smile. "Quite a lot so I can pay the little bills that worry you."

Lis mother seemed to be heard replying, "Thank you," but her words were not very clear. It was not easy for her mother to say thank you. His voice was even more shrill as he added, "How's breakfast going?"

After taking a spatula from one of her mother's messy drawers, Kikan stirred and added salt and pepper on top. She had to make dinner for her mother earlier than usual, so she could get ready for Jason's barbecue. Not that Lis's mother allowed her to come to Rey's house. He confirmed when Kikan divulged about his plan, but ended up stopping the conversation.

"The breakfast..it's fun."

"just that? Is that all you can say?"

"What do you want to hear?" Kikan could not tell what was really on his mind, the memories of dancing with Rey for a few minutes last night and what the man said at breakfast this morning. I want to sleep with you.

"You can tell me about Jason. He's being nice to you?"

"I was so surprised how much he was so happy to receive me."

"Is he as handsome as his father?" His mother asked casually but Kikan was not fooled. Her mother is much more interested in Jason than she wants to show, especially now that Kikan is getting along with her.

"I think so" answered Kikan. "He looks like his father."

"And how did Rey treat you?"

Kikan's thoughts returned to the attraction they were trying to overcome. Kikan did not want to tell this to his mother, but he was really agitated. Connecting with Rey could destroy everything she has built with Jason, if the relationship doesn't go well. And he knows that by looking at their experiences, their relationships tend not to work out well. "I can't complain, he paid for it this morning."

There was a skeptical snort from the mouth of Miss Lis. "I don't like him."

"Mom said that. But as long as I keep being nice, I'm sure he'll be nice too."

"He wasn't good" said Ms. Lis.

Kikan tucked the hair behind the ear.

"We're past that time ma'am, we have to let the past pass."

"Seventeen years in prison? You can just let it go and come to the barbecue party at her house tonight."

"I wasn't in jail for his mistakes."

"He testified against you!"

"He testified about my attitude at the time. And he's telling the truth. I called her many times, came to her house, begged her not to leave me. I was desperate and too childish to know how to cope with the loss." Excluding the fact that Kikan's older brother left them and he felt hurt because of it.

"Did he not realize the consequences of his actions?" ask Miss Lis.

"I think he realized, he apologized twice" Kikan replied.

"Hmmm"

"Did he ever give me a chance?"

Kikan did not answer, he did not know what to say. Her mother's attitude made it hard for people to like her.

Ms. Lis broke the quiet atmosphere, saying "I finally heard from your sister."

Kikan couldn't hold his breath, although he was happy, Kevin had run away from their family situation and moved on. Kikan misses his brother.

"What's he saying?"

"Not much, just call for a minute. That's all I got..... Even though he's your brother, he's glad you're out of jail."

Kikan prepared the dishes, for his mother's dinner. "Did he work?"

"She said she was working, but it didn't seem like she was going to send me money to help me" her mother replied.

"At least, Kevin's brother, gave news and seems to have been able to move on with life well. That's important."

"You think he's ever thought of his mother?" Lis mother spoke harshly, but Kikan knew that it was only because her mother was disappointed by her brother's treatment.

"He may have other responsibilities" Kikan said. "In addition, we don't need it, we have each other."

Lis mother looked at Kikan suspiciously. "Until you leave at last."

"Why would I do that?" ask Kikan.

"You're starting to make money, right?"

"Then?"

"So you can buy a vehicle and leave."

"Mom think I'm staying here because there's no other choice?"

"Then why did you come back? Your brother never came here" said his mother.

"I'm not like my brother."

Lis's mother put the carrots aside, like she didn't like them. "Looking at how this city is hostile to you, you have to go somewhere else. You can go back to meet Jason."

"Would you like to move in with me?" ask Kikan. But he didn't expect, he knew what his mother's answer was.

"I'm too old to move. People here may not like me, but they're used to me. I don't want to face a new city."

"The devil is better known than he's never met, huh?" fishing rod Kikan while adding salad to his mother's plate.

"I'm comfortable, it doesn't make sense to me to move somewhere else."

Phobias that prevent it. Kikan understands that. "Therefore I will stay with my mother" Kikan said convincingly.

Lis's mother did not look up. He kept staring at the food. "You have to go somewhere you can start again from scratch" he said slowly. "You are young and still strong. I am useless and a burden."

"Being a burden or not, you're still my parents." Kikan hugged Miss Lis with one hand. He doesn't know if he will be rejected. Showing emotions made her mother feel uncomfortable. But Miss Lis could accept and even muttered that the food was good.

Kikan smiled as his mother started eating. "Don't worry about anything okay? He said when he freed himself so he could change clothes for a barbecue at Rey's house. He also had to finish the pasta salad he wanted to bring. Kikan wants to donate food, though Rey and Jason don't ask for it.