Lara's Pieces (When the Ex Returns)
Salma's Concern

Salma POV

Am I doing this wrong? Did I wrongly decide to marry Dimas again? He betrayed me once, but why is it that with him like this I feel so sorry for him? Do I want to marry him just out of pity? Not because of love? Otherwise my love was enjoying the touch of Dimas, or I just missed being touched by a man? I don't know why I could be this confused. I shouldn't be like this, it's been a big mistake. I can't do this, just because I feel sorry for Dimas, I have to marry him, to help him get well. Though he was sick like that maybe because of his own actions. He wants to marry Rani, who he says is forced but enjoys. Which he says doesn't love, but he reciprocates Rani's love. That's what I read in Rani's book.

I read Rani's book again. There Rani said Dimas expressed his love so sincerely. And it was written a few months before he died. So for four years, they've been married without love? It's only natural that Dimas loves Rani in the end, and wants to touch Rani, they're husband and wife, right? I am the same Askara? At first he and I were both forced to marry just for the sake of Fifa, but then we could accept each other, we fell in love, and finally we both fulfilled our obligations as husband and wife.

There is no reason not to love, let alone be husband and wife, who continue to be together every day. Although Dimas always said he was forced to marry Rani, still in the end love each other. There is nothing wrong with love. Love can come at any time without us knowing.

I say my heart again, do I love Dimas again? Or just pity? Or because I remember the words I used to say that were indirectly like cursing Dimas so I feel guilty right now?

Come dong Salma ... think clearly, don't be like this. You've humbled yourself in front of Dimas, the man who may have loved you so much, but remember, he hurt you once, he chose another woman something, and married her, then left you. Now with your guilt over that trivial remark you feel that you are the most sinful person? Oh stupid you, Sal! Think carefully, do you have to marry her, or don't go back to her.

Don't come back with someone who hurt you! That is the word of some people who may no longer want to know the person who has hurt him. But there are some people who say, rather than looking for another, rather than choosing a new person who is newly known, it is better to be with that person even though it has hurt us, the latest is not necessarily the best. Sometimes the old and painful will return well after repair.

I knew Dimas still loved me, and because of our closeness again, I also felt that I was starting to fall in love with Dimas.

From earlier I flipped through Rani's book, I read it again and again. He only told a piece of his story with Dimas alone. And she said that Dimas loved her for being forced to, for pitying her. Love Dimas said only for me. Whether true or not I don't know, do they live it?

But why would he marry her if he said his love was only for me? Why would he touch her if he only loved me? Is that like most men? Askara was the same, he said he only loved me, but in fact? He forgot me because of Azzura? Should I be alone, no more contact with men? Because all I know, two men who have lived with me are like that? Just bullshit!

“Salma ...”

I put Rani's book down, when mom called me. I got out of my room and went to see my mom.

“What's up, Mom?” my many.

“There was a phone call from Askara,” replied mom.

“Where?”

“That's a home phone,” replied mom.

“You what the hell is he calling?”

“Fifah said sick, Sal. He wants to see you,” replied mom.

“Halah .. cliche once the reason? Sick to see me, it's her mother's turn to snap at me!” grumbling irritated.

“Sal ... she's still a child. His brain is easily fooled. Dong, don't you? Make peace with the past. What's wrong with you looking at Fifah? You loved him too, right? She's the reason you got married to Askara, right? Maybe the Fifah of yesterday was like that because he was also being influenced by Azzura. Now be kind to him, make peace with your grudges? After all you too with Dimas can get rid of that painful past while with Dimas, right?” say mother.

“Iya Salma will try,” I said then approached the phone sitting on the small table. I took it and I took my breath to talk to Askara.

“Halo ...” my sap.

“Sal, it's me Askara. How are you?”

“Good.” Answer's short.

“Afifah hurts, Sal. He wants to meet you,” Askara said.

“Sal, lower your ego for a day to see Fifah. He had a fever from last night calling you, Sal. I know you love him, please Sal, just meet Afifah for a minute.”

I wiped my tears, heard Askara crying and begging me to see Afifah who was sick. I wanted to see her, but looking at the house, I remembered Zura who looked at me cynically as I was about to leave the house, because she felt victorious, kicked me out of the house, and had Askara completely.

“Sorry, once I can't, I can't, Mas!” answer's kekeuh.

“Alright, I tell Afifah. Sorry to interrupt your time, Sal.” It was like giving up.

I hung up my phone, not feeling my tears flowing. The innocent face of Afifah is reflected in my eye. The carefree little girl, who was always spirited, she was smart, obedient, kind, had no idea why the arrival of her birth mother changed the girl. Until he dared to yell at me, antagonizing me. True said the mother, Afifah's brain is still young influenced, so naturally Afifah like that. Maybe I was the one who was carried away by the feeling at that time, because I was too hopeful for Afifah not to be like his father who was indifferent to me since the arrival of Azzura.

I should how? Do I have to see her for a minute? But I don't want to set foot in that house anymore. I don't want to, I'm still sick of remembering all that.

“Sal ... I know you miss Fifah. Go, meet him for a second. Don't be like this, you're the same as torturing your mind like this. I see Askara also seems to feel sorry about parting with you. She loves you so much, I understand that.”

“Mother see Askara when? How could I know he was so sorry?”

“When you went with Dimas yesterday, actually Askara and Fifah came here, they were waiting for you from you to leave until they wanted to. Finally because you did not come home, Afifah and Askara came home with disappointed faces. And, I'm surprised, why did Fifah ask mom when you will marry Om Dimas?”

I'm surprised you talk like that. Then two days ago Afifah and Askara came here? Why are you saying now? And why did Afifah ask that to mom?

“Shortly, was the same time that Dimas left until that night, Mom? Means it's been two days ago?” my many.

“Iya right, two days ago they came here, Sal,” replied mom.

“Why new mom says?” my many.

“Because you were from yesterday busy with Dimas. Do you really want to marry Dimas? How did Fifah ask that?” ask mother.

“Yes, I'm actually in touch with Dimas again. But how is Salma worried, Mom? I said so to Afifah, because Afifah forced me to stay at his house while I was serving Azzura. I had to say it like that, let Fifah not force me anymore,” explained mother.

“You're worried how? I know you're close again to Dimas. Yes, I didn't mind that. But, if you are not sure why to continue your relationship?” said mother.

“Salma don't know, Mom. Dimas hurt Salma. What if Salma comes back with him, he'll hurt Salma again?”

“Only your heart can answer that, Sal. If you believe Dimas won't hurt you again, yes he won't,” replied mom.

“But, all you have to think about right now is Fifah, Sal. He misses you, I see from the look in Fifah's eyes. He was so agitated while waiting for you to come home, he was so worried that you didn't come home, he waited on the porch, he was stunned occasionally wiping his tears, he said to mom, he regretted yelling at you, it has hurt your heart, and it has let you go. She was crying, hugging my mom sobbing, she said, she misses you so much, Sal. Would you not meet him? Moreover, he is sick?” said mother.

“Let Salma think again, Mom,” I replied.

“You think until when, Sal?” ask Mother.

“Ya later, mom.”

Should I give up? I have to go there to see Afifah? Hearing my mother's story when Fifah came here I also felt very sick, I could make her wait while I with Dimas even had fun in the Villa, carved a trace of my past with him, and then with him, make love and love with him. It was cruel for me to be with Afifa, until she became ill.

True said the mother, the age of Fifah is still unstable, sometimes she is quickly affected by the words of others. I should have understood the children of Afifa's age, not even I was angry, and vengeful to this extent.