We, From The First
#67. Third Request
"You are the scar I love the most without but. You're the momentum written to escape my destiny line. The one I believe in and won't love, we choose to end our story not because we hate each other, or no longer love each other. However, there is no other way that is best for you and me other than farewell. Our timings collided without warning. Then we are scattered, before finally incarnating into an unraveling scar, in each other's hearts."
...****...
A week had passed since the departure of Bimantara Danadyaksa, and during that one week, Aira seemed to disappear from Nico's life. Nor did Nico attempt to meet or approach Aira. This is the path Nico has chosen for both of them. Nico would not falter, though instead he would have to severely injure himself.
If Nicolah usually runs away from Aira, then now the opposite happens. And Nico can't lie, he feels lost. It was as if there was one big hole in his heart that made every step he took feel incomplete.
"Are you sure you're going to America, Nic?" Ask Regina one last time to Nico.
A few days ago, Nico made up his mind to continue his S2 education in America and settle there within an unspecified time limit.
"Yes, Ma." Answer Nico slowly.
Unlike his determination that was so strong that he wanted to leave immediately, his heart and the look in his eyes that were lately filled with emptiness actually shouted the opposite.
"Then Nana? He only has us, if you leave without fixing the situation, how will Nana live after this?"
"Nico chose to leave so that Nana could live. As long as Nico continues to appear in Nana's view, then during that time, Nana will continue to remember the death of Om and Aunt who hurt her so much. And every time Nana looked into Nico's eyes, Nana would remember him forever. Nana can still understand the reason Mama tried to hide the truth about the death of Om and Aunt, but Nico, since Nico is the son of the killer of both his parents, Nico is the son of a murderer, Mama..."
For the first time, Nico's cries finally broke before his mother. Feeling powerless to see Nico, Regina immediately hugged her son.
"I'm sorry, Mama. Sorry because Mama has made you born as a child of Bimantara Danadyaksa."
"Nico dear Nana, Ma. Nico can't do it without Nana. But if Nico doesn't leave, Nana will continue to suffer."
...****...
Nico did not get out of his car as soon as he arrived at B-Cafe. This afternoon, Aira called her and asked to meet at the B-Cafe. Aira said that there was something she wanted to tell Nico. Nico, who had never expected Aira to call her first, tried to gather her courage before finally getting out of her car, and stepped uncertainly into the cafe.
And there, in the mini cinema that had always been their headquarters, Aira was already waiting for Nico's arrival. As soon as Nico entered the room, an empty view of Aira with both eyes was immediately welcomed by Nico's arrival.
Seeing the state of Aira at that time, of course Nico felt worried. But Nico realized that he would not be able to do anything with his anxiety. He wouldn't even be able to ask if Aira was okay.
Nico immediately took a position before Aira, looking into his eyes without saying anything.
"Where are you, Nic?" Ask Aira. His tone sounded full of wounds.
"As you can see," Nico replied briefly.
Aira nodded slowly, "wouldn't you ask me?"
Nico sat down, and chose not to answer.
"Aren't you curious about me?" Aira asked once more. But again Nico did not answer.
Aira sighed softly, her two eyes started to feel hot and foggy. Nico's residence now actually killed him.
They were both silent for a while. Aira was actually giving time for Nico to open his voice and give any explanation that might be a little soothing to Aira's feelings. However, when Aira found out that Nico had not said anything to her, Aira sighed harshly.
"Nic, can't we go back to what we used to be?" Aira's voice this time shook violently. Like I was holding back the pain.
Nico who was surprised to hear Aira's words immediately raised his face that had been bowed since, and stared intently at the two eyes of the girl, as if he could not believe what he had just heard.
"I know the situation between us is difficult right now, it's even too complicated to explain, but I don't want to split with you, Nic. I want to keep you together."
"If you've got the situation now, then why are you─"
"I don't care! The one who killed Mama and Papa I was Papa you, not you, then why do you have to bear everything?" Sela Aira, as if not allowing Nico to continue her words.
"He's my birth father, Nana! Every time you see me, you will also continue to see him. How could I ignore that? I don't want to hurt you any further. You must also realize, Naira, that the place you now occupy should belong to me, that all your suffering now, should be my responsibility."
"I don't have a problem with that, Nico!"
"But I'm the problem. I don't want it every time we're together, I'll keep remembering that I'm the son of a murderer. I'd be shameless if I stayed by your side."
Done already. Nico refuses to stick with her, and actually chooses the farewell path for them. Aira already felt she had no more strength to defend someone who did not even have the slightest desire to defend.
He tried, and ultimately failed.
Aira then wiped the tears on her face, trying to strengthen herself even though it felt almost dead.
"Alright, then─" Aira took a pause to catch her breath, trying to calm the tightness in her chest. "I'll use my third request now." Aira continued with a still trembling voice. Anyone knows, he was holding back his cries so as not to break that second as well.
While Nico who sat before him bowed his head deeply after spewing out his heart, waiting with anticipation. He knew this day would come. And he has prepared himself from a long time to this day. But when this day came, his heart still hurt. He was too horrified to imagine how his life would be without this girl. The girl he loved and he took care of with all his heart for many years.
When this day was over, he would no longer find someone like this. In the past, now, and even later, until the deadline that he did not know, this girl would always be the only one. Until this day is over, he is no longer the same person.
"I don't want to see you again, Calvien Nicolas." Disconnecting Aira with broken feelings. The tears that he had been enduring had finally broken.
Finals! Today and the days of yesterday full of sweet memories and wounds are over. Really ended.
Nico was heard sighing to minimize the pain in his chest now. All the memories he passed with Aira, splashed again in his head like a replayed movie. Such a beautiful memory makes it a million times more painful now.
But Nico couldn't say anything. Although Aira was eager to hear her voice again, even though deep in her deepest heart Aira still hoped that this man would hold her back.
One second, two seconds, and... Aira nodded her head a few times and let a tear slip away again falling on her cheek. Is over. Now it's really over. Here's finally.
"And lastly.. happy birthday, Nico."
That was Aira's last words before she actually left, and left Nico alone in that place. The time was right at twelve o'clock. The sign of that day is over. On the same day, Nico turned 23. It was the most painful birthday gift he ever got, but it was worth it.
"Sorry, Aira."
He said quietly in the middle of the night. Even when he desperately wanted to chase after the girl, he already had no power anymore. Letting go and being released, was the only best path they could take now.
Until this day is over, Nico is not the same Nico anymore.
And after his meeting with Aira, Nico spent the rest of the night crying out.
Leave it for tonight, Nico sheds all his tears. Because from tomorrow, he had to put a 'mask' in front of Aira, pretend that he was okay with their separation, then disappear like a dream.
^^^To be Continued...^^^