
Lara
Bima kept looking at me fixedly. I want to avoid, but I can't. His sight was full of search.
"Ra, I know there's something you're hiding with me. Do you want an honest story or not? If you still think of me as your best friend, you should tell me what happened. You don't have to worry, Ra. I'm not the one who likes to leak. I will keep your secrets, even if I need to take them to my grave" Bima said earnestly.
I know what Bima said is true. He will definitely keep my secret. The thing is, I'm too scared. I'm too cowardly. I went back to being Lara who was afraid to reveal something.
"Why? Your courage is gone? You're back to being the usual Lara? You're back to being a shy, timid and insecure Lara?" bima's question this time is really interesting. He really asked me what I was thinking. I even thought that Bima could read my mind.
"Why do you know? Why do you know when I am weak and when I am brave? I never said it to you. Why do you know when I'm afraid, when I don't even dare to talk? You know where it came from, Bim? Am I too obvious as if I have two personalities?"
"I know you, Ra. We have known it since SD. I know how you are everyday. I can tell when you're scared, when you feel like you'd rather be quiet than talk. Yeah.just like this time. You're again the plain, timid Lara, my best friend Lara I know. It wasn't Lara who was brave and reckless against many people fearlessly."
Unconsciously I was crying. Bima is really my true friend. He knows who I really am. He can even distinguish between the real me with me who I think is different personality.
"I'll be honest with you Bim. I did know Agni." I decided to tell Bima everything. At least, I can share the problems and burdens of thought with him. I can't possibly tell Papa, Papa will think. In fact, it might take me to a psychiatrist and take medication everywhere to get better.
I can't tell Ditya either. We are newly married and do not really know each other's character. If Ditya doesn't want to accept how I am?
"I guessed it anyway. You may not suddenly ask someone you don't know. You're not a typical person who wants to know about other people to the extent, Ra. As far as I know, you're a bit closed. If you are not disturbed, you will not disturb the person. Now I ask you, you tell me the same honest story. What is your relationship with Agni? Why did you want to find out about Agni's life? That's a strange thing in my opinion. If you don't have a need, why would you do that?" bima's voice sounded calm and made me sure to tell her.
I inhaled a lot of breath and filled my lungs and exhaled slowly. I was ready to tell Bima everything. There must be someone else who knows and may be able to give me advice so that I can get out of this confusing matter.
"I've been dreaming almost every night about Agni. Except when I'm happy with Ditya. Ever since I married Ditya, I no longer dreamed of him." I opened up the story of what I felt was the cause.
"Where's the problem? Maybe you're just as good as him? Often, someone who works with an artist will dream of the celebrity as if they were very familiar. I don't think that reason will make you need to find out deeply about Agni?! What other reason?" Bima is too smart for me to fool. He must have known that I was still hiding another fact.
"The problem is I know that Agni didn't want to kill herself."
"I guessed it. Surely you were his witness? And you don't talk to the public if you witness it? It's okay, Ra. You can hide your identity, but you're talking to the police about what happened. Are you threatening? Or maybe it is true that Agni is evil? You see that culprit?" bima asked me.
I shook my head. All of this seems very heavy. Acknowledging that I am the culprit for everything that happened to Agni.
Bima stretched out her little finger. "I promise! You know, I can always keep my word?"
Cut my little finger with her little finger. "I keep your promise."
Me and Bima then took off our finger links. Bima looked at me fixedly and waited for me to tell her about what had happened.
"To be honest, Agni died after saving me."
"Saved you? Save you from what? I don't understand?!"
"Agni died after saving me from attempting suicide." I was finally able to tell this to someone.
Bima was very surprised to hear that. He unwittingly opened his mouth and quickly closed it with both hands. "You're not lying, are you, Ra? You serious? You want to kill yourself? No! I know you, Ra. You will not do that! Even though you look weak, but you're really strong, Ra! You will not end your own life!"
"I am not the one you know Bim. I was devastated to see my loved ones cheating in front of my eyes."
"Who? Didn't you know Ditya after you became a celebgram? Is there anyone else you love besides Ditya?"
"There was. That guy is... Aryan."
"Aryans? Arya who rumors you're teasing and wants to snatch her boyfriend Anggi?"
I'm nodding. "But that's not the real story. Arya was originally closer to me than Anggi. However, Arya is only using me for her purpose of being able to go to college at my expense. I think Arya's been thinking of me as her lover. But I was wrong. That day, I came to Arya's boarding house and saw Arya and Anggi my half-brother having an affair. Not only that, they even insulted me because I was ugly.... I am hurt and I don't think long. At that time my world was very broken. I only thought of one thing, which was to end my life as soon as possible."
"Then Agni saved you?"
I nodded and wiped away the tears that had been dripping down my cheeks ever since. "Agni won to save me. However, after successfully taking me to the river bank instead Anggi fell alone after holding his head. I don't remember what happened anymore, and when I woke up a month later I just found out Agni was dead. "
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