A Hot Selebgram
Papa's Cemetery

Lara

I stared at Papa's tomb full of flowers with a blank look. I don't mind the flash of the camera blitz that keeps pointing at me.

I still can't believe it. Papa who recently still called my name is now only a mound of grave soil. No more Papa scolding. There is no more tender, loving voice that I have always missed.

Who would nag me if I was busy working until I forgot to eat? Who else will defend me when there is a problem?

How is my life without Papa? Papa who has shut the lid on my reckless suicide from the media. My selebgram career will be ruined when the whole world finds out that I killed myself and jumped in with Agni.

I was still lamenting Papa's grave when all the mourners had gone home. I want to go catch up with Papa. I was afraid to be in this cruel world alone. There are two different feelings in me right now. The feeling of anger mixed with resentment towards my mother and stepbrother as well as the feeling of fear of being alone in this world.

"We're going home now yuk, baby!" bring Ditya to me.

I just shook weakly. My gaze continued to be fixed on Papa's grave which was still wet. I don't think I want to leave Papa.

"You haven't eaten anything since. Your face is pale. Don't faint again like that." very patiently Ditya persuaded me.

Ditya pulled my body and gave me a warm hug. I wanted to cry, but I could stand it. I don't want Papa to see me drive him away with tears.

"We're going home now, okay?" said Ditya again.

I nodded resignedly. I still see some reporters waiting for me. They took my picture, I don't care.

Bima was still waiting for me and Ditya until he left the tomb area. I just realized that he was keeping me company. Bima is waiting near the car. Waiting for me to finish mourning Papa's grave.

I let go of Ditya's hand and hugged Bima. I was crying in his arms. Bima rubbed my hair gently while strengthening me.

"You're strong, Ra! You can get through all this!" bima said encouraging me.

I'm nodding. After being satisfied crying I let go of Bima's embrace. He immediately stepped forward and acted possessively. "Lay Lara come straight home with me!" sounding strong and accepting no objection.

I don't want to think about it. I followed Ditya who led me into the car. We left Papa's grave.

****

The following days I became discouraged from living my life. Just sleeping and crying. Sometimes he forces me to eat. He didn't want me to get sick because I was so sad.

The results of the doctor's examination said that Papa had a heart attack. But it doesn't feel possible. Papa always diligent medical check up. Papa always paid attention to his health.

The two demons began to rule Papa's house. Aunt Sofie said that Papa's house has been named after her.

I have to move the stuff in my room to Ditya's apartment. I was really kicked out of my own home.

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, Aunt Sofie changed the land certificate from in Papa's name to her name. I'm kecolongan. I never paid attention to Papa's treasure, it was my lack. Losing my home was my fault.

Fortunately, the company's shares are still in my name at 50 percent. At least not all of Papa's treasures they managed to master.

"I'll donate my belongings to the Orphanage." I told Ditya as we were having breakfast before Ditya went to work.

"Are you serious?" ask Ditya with a sparkling look.

"i'm serious. What are my things like that in your apartment? Full up. It limits our movement. I'd better give it to the needy."

"good. That was my wife. Kind and helpful. Don't be too late in the sadness. There are many people out there who suffer even more. Rather than drag on with grief it is better to fill it with sharing on others." advice Ditya wisely.

Indeed I admit, if the alms problem and sharing with orphans Ditya is very royal. Maybe because he used to live there? Is it possible that a sense of concern for his younger siblings that makes him so happy if anyone contributes to the orphanage where He was raised first?

"Seems like you really care about the Orphanage led by Sister Nisa? You donate there too, right? It's old?" instead of thinking about Papa, I better start interrogating my own husband. I want to know to what extent He hides the fact that he once lived in the Orphanage.

"Not there anyway. I did set aside a portion of my income to donate to the sisters in the Orphanage. There's another Orphanage I've also donated to. So, it's not Nisa's sister. Only, the oldest Kak Nisa Orphanage, you could say Kak Nisa Orphanage is the first Orphanage I donated." Again when talking about Orphanage, Ditya's eyes so sparkling. Seen once happiness emanated from the look of his eyes.

"It turns out, my husband was really very kind. I am proud to have married you. You are not only perfect in physical terms, but you also have a very noble heart. Thanks to you, I learned to share with the people around me."

"Not before?" ask Ditya.

I shook my head. "I don't have much money. The rich and the big money is Papa. Since long ago, I was used to the mediocre pocket money. For more snacks, I usually work part-time elsewhere. Unfortunately, at that time I was so stupid, so easily lied to. If you know that, I'd better set aside my salary for the sisters at the Orphanage!"

Ditya smiled. "What's wrong. It is never too late to donate and to share with others. Maybe, at that time you were not able to but now you can. You have a company and you also get income from endorsements. If for your daily living expenses there is me who bear it. So, you've got plenty of chances to give alms."

"You're right. Today, I will go to the Orphanage with Bima. I need Bima's help to transport my things. I hope that the items I contribute can be useful for the brothers there. You know, there's a huge collection of my books that can add to their science. There are also some clothes that I have modified, maybe they can sell later when in the bazaar. There is also a collection of accessories. They can wear it to beautify themselves as well."

"Go away. I believe in you. Yes, even though I was a bit upset when you hugged and cried in Bima's arms at the funeral that time. Honestly, I'm jealous. Please take care of my trust. I know you're just friends. Can you?"

It feels good to hear that she is jealous of me. "Yes. Thank you for your permission. I'll keep your trust."

****