BLUE MOON'S
CLAY

Swollen. Both my eyes are red. My eyes were heavy, like there was glue sticking together; it felt so hard to open. The mirror I was in right now clearly insulted my situation, how unfaithful my heart is to my body. Weep and regret everything that has happened. I've been up since. My whole body felt really heavy, a really long night. Keep waking me up with nightmares. My phone was no longer ringing, but my hand did not dare to move and touch it. I still let him there. Silent and not moving at all.

            My bedroom door sounded. Someone knocked it from the outside. “Zea.” The sound is heard behind it. The voice of someone I know.

            The door to the room I didn't lock opened immediately. Aria walked in, looking at me who was still sitting in front of the mirror. Face surprised. Eyes widened. Not speaking but he ran over and hugged me. As if he already knew the reason for my situation. I would never have cried this bad if it wasn't about Luke. My tears are flowing again. Not wanting to talk, but hoping to be calmed down. I felt Aria's hand move patting my shoulder slowly. Allowing me to keep crying in her arms.

            “Why?” Voice slowly. Breaking the silence before. My crying has subsided.

            “Luke.” I whispered that name in her ear. My voice feels hoarse. His embrace felt strong. “Last night, he called me.”

            Aria let go of her hug on me. Shift my body in front of him. His eyes looked at me anxiously.

            “So what did he say? Werereturned?”

            “No.”

            “Good.” He nodded and smiled at me. “Have forgotten him. I'm here to do our job, but I don't think the time is right.”

            Today, I and the others promised to gather. There is no college schedule, but last week's assignments are still piling up. “I'm not in the mood.” Refusing to meet others. My swollen face would be a question for them.

            “Iya, I know. I'll tell the others.” He nodded and pulled out his phone. Typing a message there.

            “So? What did Luke say?”

            “Nothing. He just asked me to forgive him.”

            “Hemmm.” He just nodded his head. “Don't you ever care about her again Zea. I have never experienced it, but my heart is also hurt. You know how often he apologizes and makes the same mistake. Not just once. Many times and in the end he blames you for being too kind. Not Zea. All of that was just his reason. You were only used by him.” He stood up and left me who was still sitting.

            I just kept quiet. Not to reply to Aria. I know it's all true. But my heart refused to believe it. A time when logic and heart do not align. My heart still trusts him and hopes to come back with him.

            “Zea.” Aria shook my body. Eyes widened. One of his hands was holding my phone. I don't know how he could have unlocked the password, but a message was visible there.

            “It. View.” His hand showed me a message. She laughs. “Nathan? Seriously?” His laughter was heard again. Sometimes his face looks at me. I pulled my phone out of his hand. Reading the message ensures. Can't believe he called me.

            “What does Zea mean?” His breathing sounded irregular after laughing many times

            “Entah.”

            “I see again Zea.” Aria reached out her hand and took my phone. His eyes looked at the message. He read it, and this time in a loud voice.

            Your writing is ugly. Nathan. Aria laughed again.

            Nathan. The message from him really changed my mood today. The incoming message I was supposed to read last night. Maybe I wouldn't make it like this if I saw him last night. My lips slightly smiled imagining how people seemed to be able to send such a message.

*****

            “Coral Bleaching, when the coral reef will be white it is due to the loss of Zooxanthellae algae that give color to the coral.” Nathan explained it to me who was sitting next to him. I just nodded looking at his face.

            Practicum room. The room always smells of ammonia and alcohol. The glass cabinets are arranged. Complete with measuring cups, test tubes and other chemical equipment. A human skeleton torso stood in one corner of the room. One of the tables is also filled with human anatomy torso. Makes me sometimes not want to stare at those things for too long. The table and chair are right in the middle. With a microscope on each table.

            “Zoo...xan.. the... lla. Double LL.” Nathan explained. His voice sounds clear. But engraved clearly on his face was a vexation.

            “Hemmm.. ummm. yeah.” Say stammered. I really wasn't concentrating. I'm not that stupid. Sometimes I try to steal a glance to see the writing. Curious how beautiful the writing is to say my writing is ugly.

            “What?” He pulled his paper. I looked at him and then covered his writing. It was as if I knew what I was thinking at the time. I just shook my head and let it go. Return to writing the answer to today's quiz.

            “Five minutes more. If you are finished, please send it to me. If the bell has rung and you guys have not submitted, I will not accept.” The man made a sound. As a teaching assistant he was being too harsh. Should Prof. Daniel filled the class today; because his wife was ill, he chose a student from the upper class as his successor. A newly selected assistant for her satisfactory grades on the semester exam yesterday.

            “Zea.. already?” Aria called. I'm nodding. Nathan sitting next to me was still silent and writing. I looked at her wanting to ask, but I paused and let her go. This quiz is assessed individually and in pairs. To which my partner had already solved it first with Nathan, so I felt leaving him would not be a problem.

*****

            Canteen. A place that is most quickly filled by students, not just for eating; but just chatting and spending time. The lunch hour that was supposed to start thirty minutes away had no effect on the number of students gathered at the canton. The square table and the chairs were neatly arranged almost full, nothing was left.

            “What message?” Elise was still standing. After walking around for a long time we finally found an empty table.

            “Mie chicken.” I'm muttering. Unable to stand up again I immediately sat in one of his chairs.

            “Fried rice.” Mey sat down and looked at Elisha. He chose to sit facing me. Leave the seat next to me empty.

            “Aria?” Elisha looked at me. Aria parted ways with me after class. He left with Brian to deliver the task he had already completed. Will follow he said.

            “Let's go.” My answer. Mey nodded, agreeing with my advice.

            Elisha left us. Mey was busy playing her own phone in her hand. No matter to me at all. Many times a voice came from his phone. Occasionally, a smile is seen scratched in his lips. His face was embarrassed and reddened.

            “Mey..” My voice sounds strong. She's surprised. I called him many times. But there is still no answer. I finally raised my voice.

            “Who?” I looked at him suspiciously.

            He looked at me in silence. His hand stopped playing his phone. He set his eyes left and right. As if looking for something. His face approached me.

            “Steve.” Voice slowly. She smiles.

            I who heard it was shocked to not believe it. “Crazy.” My yelling.

            “Mey.., we've said many times. He's not that good. Please Mey, trust.” I looked at him still in disbelief. Time and time again, yet he was still not deterred.

            “I know. But he apologized. He also promised to change. Trust me same Zea.” Mey's voice was blistering. I know, Mey wouldn't have told me if there was Aria or Elisha at the moment. They would definitely scold him. Advising like a parent to a child just wayangnya.

            “But Mey..”.

            “Please Zea, I want to give her one more chance. This is the last one. I know this time it's Zea.” Eyes glazed. I don't want to argue and reject it. My heart was worried, but in the end I nodded my head. Agreeing wishes.

            Mey smiled at me. “Thank you Zea's. Please do not tell me anything else yes.”

            This time I can only agree to Mey's wishes. I know how she feels. Refusing to get hurt but not wanting to separate. Love is like it is invisible, but its scars will always be felt. The risk of love if you love too much must be ready to be hurt more.