I'll Throw You Before You Honey Myself
The Sanctity of Tarnished Love

In the midst of the silence of the night, under the torrential rain. Occasional lightning struck, blaring deafeningly. It was as if nature was painting what Dawn felt at this time. Restless, restless, dark, and gripping, that is what rages in the heart of Dawn. He was in a car driving in the rain. The hour hand had shown at 11:00 p.m., but he had not yet found his wife.

In the midst of despair, Fajar decided to go home to the apartment. He had run out of places to find his wife. Alvin's house, the nightclub, Nina's house, and the house of another old friend of Dusk. All he had gone, but the result was nil, no one knew where his wife was. Dawn had been circling the streets in the city center for hours, hoping to find his wife in one of the places. Yet again, he was disappointed. He found no sign of his wife.

Dawn stopped his car in the apartment parking lot, then got off and stepped foot into the apartment. The lips of Dawn incessantly offer prayer, hoping for the miracle of the Almighty. May Dusk come home and rest in his room.

With his heart beating fast, Dawn opened the apartment door. It was dark, only darkness greeted him. No lights at all. Dawn biting lips, it turns out Dusk has not come home.

The dawn entered with slow steps. He kept walking to the room. The inside of the room was no different from the living room, it was dark and there were no signs of life. Then Dawn turned on the lights and stared at every inch of the room. Nothing has changed, it is exactly the same as last day.

"Where are you, honey? Is this the beginning of your departure?" Dawn murmured while sitting languidly on the sofa. He nodded while holding his head.

"Please don't leave me, honey. I know you're disappointed in my attitude, but I did all this for you. I can't tell you the truth, I'm afraid of losing you. I am a coward, I do not have the courage to admit the mistakes that make me hate," lamented Fajar quietly.

"Return, Dusk, stay by my side until the end of my age." Dawn covered her face with both hands.

For a long time Dawn was drowning in sorrow. Flashes about his life in the past swirled in his brain. The sins he had committed, seemed to judge him at that very moment. It makes him worse in regret. Now his life is ruined, due to a fatal mistake last day.

***

The sun has shown its grace. The light that began to graze golden entered the room of Dusk. Makes the woman squirm slowly and blink.

He nodded and slowly opened his eyes.

Dusk looked around, then realized if he was in his own home. Dusk was about to rise from his sleep, but his movements came to a halt as he felt aches and pains all over his body. Then the pain reminded him of last night. Twilight flinched and seemed to wake up from the nightmare. Frustrated he ruffled his hair violently.

"Why can I be this stupid, what did I think last night. Oh no, really sloppy. Now what should I do," grumbled Dusk with fear.

He never imagined his meeting with Ken would end like this. Yesterday Ken helped her and took her to the hospital. Then drive her home and help her find information about Arrion. Moments of time continued to run and the evening slowly turned into night. The feeling of Dusk filled with hurt and disappointment, as well as Ken's feelings filled with love and longing. They finally did something inappropriate. They fall into the hole of attraction.

Slowly, the dusk tried to rise. Then he sat down and leaned his back against the wall. Dusk did not move from the bed, pain and pain made his body barely powered.

Dusk lowered his head and stared at the thick blanket covering his body. A shadow last night flashed back in memory. Makes his heart ache and tight. Betraying Dawn and betraying her marriage was something she had never imagined before.

"Why the situation can't side with me either. Instead, it plunged me into this sin," said Dusk accompanied by tears.

At the time when she quarreled with her husband and felt desperate about her marriage, why did a figure from the past come to her aid. At the time he wanted to share the burden with his brother, why was he not there, and only a figure from the past who was beside him. For a long time he waited for help from Sella, but it turns out he is not a good friend, and again a figure from the past who returned to help him.

Why are things so testing?

And he failed that test. He was tempted and now he is stained.

Dusk was too late in his regret, to the point of not hearing the sound of the door opening.

"Yes!" call Ken while stepping in. He put his tray on the table, then approached Dusk which was still on the bed.

Dusk raised his head, then wiped his tears with both hands.

"I'm sorry." Ken said as he wiped the tears of Dusk. Honestly, he also deeply regretted his actions, not expecting if Dusk was a virgin.

"It's not your fault Ken" replied Dusk quietly.

What Dusk said is true. Last night he was open. They do so on their own accord, not on the basis of coercion.

"Clean your body and eat. After that I want to talk to you about something important." Ken said while tidying up the messy twilight hair.

"What's important?" ask Dusk.

"Later, after you have breakfast I'll say it" replied Ken.

"Well, I'll take a shower first." Dusk answered while getting out of bed. He walked slowly with a little bit of a limp.

"Let me help, Aya." Ken holds the hand of Dusk.

"No, I can do it myself" replied Dusk. He let go of Ken's hand and continued his steps.

Ken stared at Dusk with nanar, actually he pity to see Dusk walk in limp. However, he also could not force Dusk to accept his offer, he knew at this time Dusk needed time to calm down.

"Why don't you say you're still holy, Aya. I don't know if the marriage you're having is this complicated" Ken regretted. He ruffled his hair violently.

Not the happiness Ken got despite successfully getting the first night of Dusk, but deep regret. He could only guess what really happened to Dawn.

About half an hour later, Dusk returned to the room. He looks fresher with his wet hair, the way pum is not limped like before. Ken was fascinated, when he looked at the beautiful twilight in a knee-length dress of light brown.

"What I'm thinking, don't let last night happen again." Ken nodded while turning his face away.

"What do you want to say, Ken?" ask Dusk. He looked at his ex while sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Eat first. I'm sorry I can't cook, so I can only serve toast to you." Ken said while staring at Dusk.

"I'm not hungry yet, just tell me what you want to talk to me about" replied Dusk.

Ken took a deep breath, then moved from his seat and stepped closer to Dusk.Lantas sat next to him.

"Well, why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?" ken asked to open the conversation.

"That's not important." Dusk answered quickly while turning his face away. He was embarrassed when Ken found out that Dawn never touched him.

"That's very important, Aya!" ken firmly.

"Why is that?" Dusk asked while looking at Ken.

"Because of this, I am changing my conclusions."

"What do you mean?"

"Yes, listen to me!" Ken holds both shoulders. "If the thing Dawn has been hiding all along is her affair with Adara, she can't possibly not touch you. If he's a normal guy, he won't be able to stand you for another year. In my opinion, it is not the troubled heart of Dawn, but her," at length.

"I ... I still don't understand Ken," said Dusk nervously, for some reason his heart started beating fast.

"If the secret that Dawn hides is just an affair, she will definitely touch you, Aya. There is no normal man who is not interested in the female body. No matter how much love for his lover, he will not be able to control his na*sunya while living one roof with another woman for a long time, moreover the woman is his wife" Ken explained.

"So, I think something else happened to Dawn. I have three possibilities, the first one he is abnormal, the second he is imp*ten, and the third .. he may be sick," Ken continued with a fixed gaze.

"Ken, you___"

"You remember last night there was Arrion who worked as a doctor. After I found out you were a virgin, I immediately found out about her. You know what information I got? Arrion Giorgino, a man from Indonesia who studied in Singapore, then he became a doctor and worked at Chan Hospital. A year ago he married Indonesian woman Hana Wardhani. From other information I got, Arrion and Dawn went to the same high school. They know each other. So I guess ... Dawn to Singapore for consultation on the problems that happened to him," Ken explained at length.

The twilight was glued at that moment as well. When he heard the name Hana Wardhani, he immediately remembered the incident yesterday. He still remembers what the mysterious man whispered, who turned out to be Arrion. "He loves you so much, so stop finding out. Sometimes reality hurts a lot more than we think."

"I'll find out what really happened to Dawn. I will also continue to find out about Adara. I wonder what their relationship is, why Fajar can live in Adara's apartment" Ken said.

However, the speech was like the wind then for Dusk. He couldn't catch what Ken was saying. It is too late in its own mind. If Dawn is sick, then what should she do? She had already desecrated her marriage.

"Yes, what's wrong with you?" ask Ken who just realized the change in attitude of Dusk.

The twilight was still silently fixated, her lips tightly clenched, as if reluctant to answer Ken's question.

"Yes, answer me! What's going on?" Ken shouted as he shook his shoulders.

"Sir Dawn is normal and he is not imp*ten" said Dusk quietly. He looked down and returned his tears.

"You sure?" ask Ken.

"I'm so sure." Dusk nodded.

"Thus ... Sick dawn?"

"Maybe. Yesterday I met Hana and her husband. If Hana marries Arrion, everything makes sense." Dusk muttered as he wiped his tears.

"What do you mean?"

"I asked about Adara to Hana. Hana didn't say where Adara was now, but she was very sure that Adara couldn't possibly disturb my household. Then her husband .. she whispered something to me. He told me to stop finding out, because Brother Fajar loves me so much. He also said, sometimes reality hurts more than we imagine," said Dusk at length.

"Yes! Why didn't you tell me this yesterday? I told you, tell me everything so I can help you. But why are there so many things you're hiding?" ken said with high intonation.

"I don't think that's important" said Dusk slowly.

"That's very important, Aya. If only I had known from yesterday, maybe none of this would have happened. I'm sorry, Aya, I've taken your chastity. If only I knew you were a virgin, I would never have stained you. I didn't expect the marriage you were in turned out to be this complicated." Ken lowered.

It was really dissolved in regret. The filth that they did last night, will not end just like that. All of this will have an impact on their future.

"For so long I didn't expect that far, I thought Brother Fajar betrayed me. I guess because there is a heart that is being guarded, that's why he won't touch me" said Dusk.

Ken let out a long sigh and exhaled it violently. Why is the mind so shallow? In the past at school, Dusk was an intelligent child, but in terms of understanding men, why he was so stupid. Where there are normal men who can stand to silence women for a long time.

"You fool, Dusk, why can't you think of any other conclusion. And I, yes, I am also a fool. I can't control my na*, I can't think with my wits," Ken's inner voice rubbed his face violently.

"Ken!" call Dusk.

"Hmmm," muttered Ken.

"I want to be alone" said Dusk slowly, afraid that his words would offend Ken.

"You sure you don't need friends?"

"I need some time alone, Ken," said Dusk.

"All right, I get it." Ken smiled, then moved from his seat.

"I'm really sorry about last night. Aya, calm your mind. Be sad, but don't overdo it. Be the Light that always smiles. Then ask Fajar to talk carefully, who knows he wants to tell the truth. I will also keep looking for information about him. Take care of yourself, Aya." Ken said as he rubbed his twilight hair. Then hugged her briefly, and then stepped away leaving her.

After Ken's body disappeared behind the door, Dusk looked down again and shed his tears. Both of his hands squeezed the edge of the bed very tightly. His heart seemed to be breaking into pieces. He never imagined, if the end of his marriage would be this dark.

The twilight moved from his seat. He walked up to the chair and sat there. His eyes stared pushyly at the plate of toast and the glass of water that was presented on the tray.

Ken, the humorous and romantic man who used to be a moor of his heart. The man loved her sincerely, but he misunderstood her and left her. He hurt Ken.

As for Dawn, the man was present at the time he was injured. Dawn extended her pure love and invited her to knit halal ties. But over time, Fajar's strange attitude made him suspicious, and again he again misunderstood his partner. He considers Fajar cheating, and most likely his assumption is very wrong. Now, he has marred her marriage. If only the attitude of Dawn was right because of illness. Ahh, how sinful he is, betraying the sanctity of love from the husband.

"Why can I be this cruel, I have hurt two men who sincerely love me. Why am I so stupid, why do I always misunderstand my partner?" said Dusk on the sidelines of his cry.

"Baggot Dawn, I'm sorry. Forgive my stupidity." Dusk wailed while covering his face with both hands.

***

The hour hand showed at 04:00 in the afternoon. Dawn was still sitting languidly on the sofa of her room. The formal suit he wore yesterday is still attached to his body. Losing Twilight made him a mess. Since yesterday, Fajar has not eaten, nor has he cleansed himself. He just sat there staring at the phone screen. Hopefully there is news from his man, or even direct news from his wife.

However, until now Dawn is still shackled in worry. His man has not found his wife. So is the case with the number Dusk, until now can not be contacted.

"Where are you, honey? Please don't torture me like this. Forgive me for disappointing you." Dawn took her wedding photo.

He rubbed the photo slowly. One and a half years married, it feels like there is no happiness that they knit things a day. Dawn is always covered with fear and worry. While Dusk, always shrouded in suspicion and disappointment.

"Go back, honey, don't punish me like this. I promise to treat you better. I promise to tell you my situation honestly. I don't care if you leave me, or not. But now please come back! Give me a chance to apologize and straighten things out on you," Fajar said quietly.

Dawn let out a long sigh, then carried the photo stepping closer to the window. Dawn stood there and stared at the still-warming solar rays. The solar! I don't know when God allowed himself to look at the sun.

Dawn looked down and looked at the wedding photo that was still in her grasp. A sweet smile appeared etched on his lips, also on his wife's lips. Dawn rubbed him back slowly, and now his eyes began to glaze over.

"Married to someone we love, not always sweet and happy, because sometimes it also hurts. If only I could turn back the clock, I would have corrected my attitude in the past. That way, I won't experience any of this. Me and Dusk must be living happily," said Dawn with grief. Clear circles began to drip from the corner of his eye.

"I used to underestimate sin too much and never thought about karma. Now, it's too late, my regrets won't change. I can only hope, may God still allow you to stay by my side. I want to get through my last moments with you, Dusk." Fajar said as he clasped the photo tightly.

Dawn was still dissolving in his sadness. Such baseless regret, as if locking him in immeasurable pain. Dawn was still standing facing the window, with a flat, empty look on its eyes. Dawn did not hear when the room was open.

"Non-Fair." Fajar faintly heard the voice of Dusk calling out to him.

However, Fajar still remained unmoved and actually closed the fire. He thought the sound was just an illusion because of the longing that had arisen.

"Non-Fair." Again the voice sounded so real in the ear of Dawn.

"You all right, brother?"

Dawn jerks. The voice was real and not an illusion, because now Fajar felt a warm touch on his shoulder. Fajar quickly turned his head, and the figure of his wife was already standing right behind him.

"Alley! Is that really you, honey?"

"Yes, it's me, brother." Dusk replied with a bitter smile. He felt even more guilty when he saw the chaotic state of Dawn.

"I'm sorry, honey," Dawn hugged Dusk tightly.

"This time I'll tell you everything. If you choose to leave, I won't forbid. At least you already know how sincerely I love you" Fajar said in his heart.