Dusk Sky
Because Dear

Her steps grew heavier when baby Anna was already within reach of her eyes. There is guilt pressing on the chest. Tears that have been since he was able to hold finally spilled once he grabbed the small body of a toddler who was sleeping on the guest room bed.

Her little daughter opened her eyes cutely. Maybe the toddler is still sleepy but his sleep is disturbed by the actions of the mother.

"I'm sorry dear mommy" he said. He had been holding sobs since. For that, his voice sounded strange when talking to his husband when in the car earlier. Because he was trying to hold the vibration in his voice.

"I'm sorry mommy" he said again softly. That's the only word he can say.

His guilt was too great for him to speak in words. She could only cry with baby Anna in her arms.

Outside the room, Maureen and her mother return home. They want to give Dusk time to themselves. Give him a chance to accept the situation.

So did Baskara who just stared at his wife from the door of the room. He wanted his wife to shed her tears. Spill out what his wife had felt since. Things that can't be spilled on him.

Because maybe he's not what his wife needs right now. Maybe Dusk is more in need of baby Anna to strengthen her heart to accept the situation.

Long enough to cry. From the first baby Anna only pay attention to the mother with her typical babbles, until the toddler was crying pity. Annoyed that the mother did not respond to him as usual. Also, the little baby was hungry.

"Here, let daddy give you Anna's milk."

At first Dusk did not let the husband take baby Anna from his arms. But once the cry of the toddler was getting firmer, Dusk let though not willingly.

One day, two days, Baskara still let his wife grieve and cry.Close herself in the room doing nothing but staring at the sleeping Anna. But when a week passed and Dusk still cried a lot, he could not bear to let it go.

"Honey.. Hear me!" Baskara cupped his wife's face to look at him. "Are you mad at me, ayy?"

Dusk shook with tears that could not be separated wet a beautiful face that now looked increasingly pale, too much crying. Even in one week, just by looking at it, the weight of twilight clearly looks to drop dramatically. Making Baskara even more sad with the situation. They should be happy, right?

"So why don't you talk to me? why does nagis keep going? why cry alone, do not want to share?"

Dusk threw himself into the husband's warm embrace. Crying sobbed until her tears drenched the chest of the shirt her husband was wearing.

"By the way.. I wouldn't understand if you were on the brakes and crying."

For the first time after a few days of silence, Dusk finally said with a falter.

"Gi-mana.. Anna?" tanyakanya.

The first day when she was calmer and asked if she could breastfeed baby Anna. Baskara explained again what the doctor explained to her when she was in the hospital.

Although breastfeeding is feared to trigger contractions and miscarriage, decreased breast milk production is also a lack of nutrients for the baby in the womb. In fact, such a thing is nothing to worry about. Because Dusk is still allowed the origin of pregnancy this time a healthy pregnancy and not at risk. But still have to be with the doctor's supervision.

Moreover, Dusk has felt complaints such as chest pain, fatigue and morning sickness are quite severe. Even a month back he was often sickly because he did three things at once. Breastfeeding, getting pregnant and staying up late for the thesis.

So doctors only advise Dusk to continue breast milk only until the age of baby Anna exactly six months. But if the condition of the body and the Dusk pregnancy is stable enough, he can continue the process of breastfeeding baby Anna until it is finished.

"I can't give full time to Anna, mas." Her tears broke again. "Anna hasn't gotten the affection she deserves from me."

Baskara only gently rubbed his wife's back. One week of restraint, must be a lot of things that his wife wants to convey.

"I still need Anna's time, mas.... I want to play my role as a mother for her well."

"Because all this time I haven't played the role of mother! I'm just playing the role of a student! because what?!... Because I thought, I still have a lot of time to spend with Anna. Replacing the days I spent."

She believes her husband has told her what happened and how she is now.

"No, dear pa-pa.. Everything will be fine." said Baskara finally tried to calm the wife. "When Anna can understand later, she will understand how you are. Since she's a girl, maybe she'll understand you better when she imagines you're in your current position."

"I didn't even pantes for Anna to call mommy.." he mumbled. "I never even took care of it."

Baskara caught his wife's wrist trying to beat her own head.

"You're a good mother, baby... You're a good wife and mother to us." Baskara gripped firmly on his wife's shoulder who looked down deeply.

"What do you want? want to be a scholar?.. I accompany until graduation here!.. want to be a designer?.. I guard until success!... Want to be a good mother and wife?. I accompany you to the end ayy. Hold my hand and believe that you will never go it all alone!

However, the answer Baskara heard, was not the answer he wanted.

"I even thought about throwing the baby in my womb, mas." said the wife lirih full of regret.

"THE TABLE!!" for the first time Baskara actually yelled at his wife. He even mentioned his wife's name. Not a nickname as usual.

"Although the second child is present at a time we have not expected, but you cannot do that! even if you think about it, you're so evil!" hardik Basque. The gaze that was usually always gentle was now sharp and cold.

"You don't think, what if the second child hears what you say?! what if he feels what you feel?! what if she feels sad because her mother doesn't want to?!"

The twilight still lowered helplessly. He thought about that too. Therefore he only ever thought about it without daring to do it.

"If you love Anna, you should also love the second child." her tone came back down and soft. Even though his eyes still radiated anger. "Because she and Anna, the same! both your flesh and blood! the children whom God has entrusted you to care for!"

"I KNOW MAS?!" his yell. Really, without the need for her husband to blame, she already felt very guilty.

"I know she and Anna are the same! I knew that if I was sad he would also feel sad! I know I'm evil because I once thought that way just for Anna's sake to get complete affection from me! without having to share it with his sister."

She looked back at her husband. His gaze was sad, in contrast to the husband who was sharp and intimidating himself.

"You know what's my reason why I didn't drop this content?" point it at his queen's stomach. Baskara responded with a headband.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM, MAS!" he screamed back in frustration. "Because I love him... That's why I'm defending him."

His body shook violently along with sobs that filled their entire room space.

"I love him, mas... I love him..."

Baskara sighed feeling grateful. His wife was expecting their second child. He brought his wife back into the fold.

"Because I love him.... That's why I can only blame myself for this."

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