I Select Another Door of Heaven
I Select Another Door of Heaven

"Today you're done?" Nathan asked after finishing his drink, he was so greedy lunch this time felt different and so delicious in his opinion.

"Alhamdulillah is already a mas" answered Rianti, he tidied up their container first and wiped the table in front of him with a tissue.

"Mas still got time, right?" Rianti made sure of her husband's time before starting the conversation,

Nathan glanced at his watch, it was thirteen o'clock more, meaning that lunchtime was over. He also remembered a message from his secretary, if this afternoon there was a meeting with a client who would work with his company, but he tried to refrain from showing that he was actually busy.

"Of course, honey, talk" Nathan saved his phone after texting his secretary, choosing to turn off the phone so that his friendship with Rianti was not disturbed. Nathan knew that what his wife was about to say seemed very serious.

"Mas, I never count the days, but it turns out that our journey is far enough yes" Rianti began his conversation with a rarity, and was listened to by Nathan with great concentration.

"Thank you for being present in my maturing process, thank you for giving me so many stories in my life. I love you, you know?" Rianti asked and answered a nod by Nathan.

"Loving is not about who first captivated the heart, but about who is sincere and still survives. I know, our relationships are often up and down, often the ups and downs even there are sorrows that we can not pass, although sometimes exhausting. But in the end my conscience is not able to deny if I am unable to continue to survive with this marriage Mas." Rianti said paused, because there was something that wanted to come out of his eyes but tried to hold him back,

While Nathan was still speechless with an increasingly thumping heart, he began to read where Rianti was talking.

"I've been trying to hold on all the time, but as I used to say if I take off your grip it means my hand is already too sore."

"Darling..."

"I'm not done yet" Nathan fell silent again,

"I love you but to continue to be beside you I am not strong enough Mas, my heart is not educated enough, I have not been able to be sincere. If the beginning of our purpose of housekeeping is to worship, then now my worship is a lot of help, even damaged or maybe not useful because there is a heart disease that continues to eat away at the reward that is my unreality. If after marriage the source of my paradise is a husband, then I seem to be further away from my paradise because in fact there is always a calculation to be able to serve you." Rianti took a deep breath, he saw Nathan lowered his head to hear every sentence he said.

"I was wrong to believe your promise.... Ah promise? Maybe I'm the only one who thinks if it's a promise when in fact it's not, just a quick word that you won't touch it even you say you'll try to get away from it."

Degs....Nathan looked up at Rianti who still said calmly. He was quite slapped with the last sentence that his wife said.

"Astaghfirullah, I have sinned because I believed in your words at that time. Don't even know himself I support what you're saying. Though I know, the duty of a husband is not only to fulfill the birth but also the bathin, fortunately you do not realize what you say."

Degs...Nathan again slapped the dean of a sentence that seemed insinuating to him,

"I also know that the victory of Satan is when two persons who have been bound by the sacred bond of marriage are separated. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, may Allah forgive my sin." hoarse sounding but no tears in Rianti's eyes when saying his heart.

"Mas, remember you once told me about your desire to be a father? Even you say you want to have many children so that your children will not be lonely like you who are only an only child.

"Darling..." Nathan is no longer able to hold himself back, he squirms in front of Rianti,

"Now Allah grant your wish, congratulations. I believe you'll be a good father to your son." Rianti smiled at Nathan who was now resting on his lap with teary eyes.

"Now, I'm ready to let you go Mas, live happily with your little family after my death. I'm sorry if I wasn't the source of your happiness, because I honestly can't stand it anymore."

"If eventually drifting away is a necessity not a will, then let's do it. Please let go of me.."

"No dear I don't want to let go of you, you are ..."

"Darling... I love you so much, I don't want to lose you."

"But I feel the pain of being next to you Mas, you know that I can't possibly ask you to choose between me and him? If you really love me, I'm sure you don't want me to get hurt and want me to be okay, right?. Now, let me save my own paradise Mas, let me choose another door of heaven. Our marriage is a source of heaven too heavy for me to achieve."

"Darling..."

"If you feel guilty about not getting pregnant, we can still try again baby. Please don't leave me."

"That's just one of them Mas, I believe what God has destined for me will never go the wrong way to come to me. What's been rooted for me, I'm sure it won't be changed. Maybe I got here when I was dating you. Please, grant my last wish as your wife this Mas." Rianti turned his face away because he did not want to see any tears welling up in his eyes.

"Darling,..."

"Are you going to be happy if you get away from me?" Nathan said with a trembling voice,

"Please pray Mas, like I will pray for your happiness." replied Rianti back with a calm face.

"Yourfts..." Nathan exhaled, he covered his face with both palms. This was not what she wanted, she wanted to live happily with Rianti and their children later, but Micah's pregnancy changed everything. The plan to release Micah had to stop even before it could start because of his error at that time.

"I'm gonna get out of that house and take care of our divorce papers. Dika and Riad already know, they've already handed all their decisions to me."

Nathan gasped again, he did not expect that his two sisters-in-law already knew about his family problems.

"No, you can't leave that house, it's yours" Nathan said,

"Too many memories in the house mas, please appreciate my decision" Pinta Rianti calm down.

"Ri, why are you doing this?"

"You who directed me to this Mas, I believe, when I am truly sincere with the situation, at the same time God will certainly provide happiness for me. God is able to turn even the worst situations into the best moments of our lives."

"Now please, let go of me Mas" asked Rianti with his shady eyes, eyes that always managed to make Nathan calm and comfortable.

"You really mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it."

"You'll be happy when you get away from me?"

"God willing, let's pray for each other, Mas."

"Well, if that's your decision"

"If it's hard, but I'll try to fulfill your wish." Nathan took a deep breath, though,

"Rianti Auriza Zahra, today I am your talaq!" Nathan closed his eyes, and so did Rianti. Talaq was said along with the tears of both that dripped down the cheeks.