I Select Another Door of Heaven
Positive Thinking

A man was standing on the balcony of his room, his gaze piercing through the starless night sky. Tonight the pitch-black sky seemed to depict his heart which was also empty, dark without direction.

Cigarette smoke continues to boil high, whether it has been how many cigarettes that have turned into smoke puffs. For a long time he stood there befriending cigarettes even though time was increasingly crawling towards the end of the day and preparing to welcome a new day.

Nathan looked up at the sky, Rianti's shadow again clearly seen. His lips smiled back at the smile Rianti so missed.

Hix.... Nathan immediately lowered his head in an unstoppable cry. He realized what he saw just now was just a mirage.

"When I think of you, my longing grows. Thinking about your smile that always appears on your face, makes you feel even more regret. If my heart warmed up when you were greeted with a smile, now there's only a sense of tightness." Nathan wiped away the rough tears that had soaked his cheeks, and,

"My best feeling is being with you. Your presence is instantly able to eliminate my anxiety. You can always make me smile every day because your love is so sincere."

"Now you are no longer here. My eyes want to see you, my hands want to hold you, but I have to be disappointed because now it's all impossible. I'm gone, why do you have to go Ri, leave me with all my regrets?"

"I hurt Ri, sick from my deep yearning for you. You evil Ri, why did you leave me? Hiks.." The tears just dripped back with sobs, Nathan was really unable to hold himself back anymore. His heart continued to monologue with a chest that increasingly felt tight.

Since the judge knocked on the hammer, a sign that Nathan had officially divorced Rianti, since then Nathan seemed to lose his life direction. He felt tormented, which became his torment of a loss was a sense of attachment to the woman who had been legally his ex who was now no longer nearby.

"Mas.." a pair of hands suddenly coiled around his waist, the friendly call he expected to hear from the woman he was missing was just a hallucination.

Nathan hurriedly wiped away the remaining tears on his cheeks, he tried to be ordinary not wanting to show what he was feeling.

"Why out? it's cold in here" said Nathan, who would turn around but be held back by Micah.

"Let it be like this, Mommy." Micah held Nathan's body to stay in position, Nathan resigned.

"You missing him?" micah asked gently, she wanted to make sure if the change in attitude of her husband these few days was because it still remembered the woman who was already his ex-wife.

Nathan was silent, he refused to answer. I don't want to say yes, but I can't if I have to say no. Silence is her choice at this time.

Of course Micah concluded that Nathan's silence meant yes, he took a deep breath before continuing to speak.

"Forgive him, you have only me now, and feel that there is our son in my womb. It is the fruit of our love that will bind us until we grow old together." Micah was trying to calm down, he understood very well how to conquer Nathan under these circumstances.

"I know it's not easy to erase the name of someone who's ever stopped in our hearts. But you can do it, I'll make you forget. Remember, the more time we've spent together even more than you were with him. He was only present for a moment in our midst, and now he's gone because it's not the place." Micah squeezed Nathan's chest as he said his last sentence,

Nathan just closed his eyes, he didn't know what to say.

"Now let's go through tonight together" whispered Micah softly right in Nathan's ear, he deliberately exhaled right at Nathan's nape.

Nathan turned around, he looked at the woman who had now placed two hands around Nathan's neck.

King size bed that was once a bed occupied by Rianti became the last port of two people began their night adventure.

At the same time, Rianti suddenly woke up from his sleep. His planned departure from the city that gave him many sweet and bitter memories had to be delayed because the results of his doctor's examination he had to bed rest to maintain his womb.

Fatigue and stress experienced because of the problems he is facing in fact have a big effect on the strength of the womb.

"Why? You thirsty?" Tiara who tonight accompanied Rianti in the hospital also woke up. After asking permission from her husband and her beloved children, she was allowed to accompany her best friend, who is now just a kara.

"Yes Ra" replied Rianti who slowly woke up from his sleep,

"Don't get up, let me get it." asserted Tiara who rushed up from the sofa that was not far from Rianti's bed.

"I'm sorry Ra, I'm so troublesome" Rianti said, feeling guilty,

"I don't like to hear you talk like that, instead I would be very offended if you refused me to accompany you." said Tiara who then sat in the right chair beside the patient's bed.

"I feel bad for Mr. Arzan" said Rianti.

"He's allowed it, don't worry." Tiara assured her friend to calm down.

"May I go home tomorrow"

"As long as you are healthy, your womb is safe and the fetus is healthy, the doctor will allow it" Tiara tried to motivate her friend.

"God willing, I will take care of him at his best. At least I'm not alone anymore from now on." Rianti replied as she stroked her stomach which still looked flat.

After further examination by an obstetrician, the doctor said that the Rianti gynecologist was eight weeks.

"Alhamdulillah, everything has been arranged with the best scenario. Believe me, God knows best for us. All His destiny is good, although sometimes there must be tears and wounds when we live it, but believe me, everything will be beautiful in time." Tiara clasped Rianti's hand tightly as if she was pouring strength on her best friend, through the look in her eyes Tiara as if she wanted to convince Rianti that everything would be fine.

The two also hugged each other, through the second body language strengthens each other.

After knowing about her pregnancy, Rianti has set her heart to make peace with herself, ready to accept reality without having to hate the situation. He is sure that God will not give him a burden beyond his ability, God even gives a test of football with his strength to live this process of life, Rianti also believes that the presence of a new creature in his womb is a clear sign of God's great love for him.

Choosing positive thoughts over all those who are destiny in his life turned out to make his heart calmer. Iron can be destroyed by its own rust, and humans can also be destroyed by its own mindset, Rianti believes that.

Making peace with yourself is a process in life, because every human being is responsible for growing. Not to be perfect, but to be an adult.