My Beloved Bodyguard's
MBB 46'S

“God, I want to meet him. Just once I met Blade, not Rarendra or anyone. I need to finish what we have started, end what hangs all this time.” Shanuella took a heavy breath in the middle of the stifled sobs. “At least, he had to explain to me why he could be that mean guy. What wrong? What sins? What ...”

Shanuella. The remaining sentence piece that he was about to shed disappeared instantly as two burly hands clenched him from behind. So possessive and certainly warm.

“Why not sleeping? Didn't we talk about it?” Bayu's voice sounded hoarse. Her warm gusts of breath tickled Shanuella's nape.

“Mas.” Parau still dominates, Shanuella spills too many tears alone.

“Not promised me not to cry anymore. Sweetheart your tears, Shan. He doesn't deserve to be hated, let alone grieved.” 

Just a sobbing sound could be heard, the blocked breath was enough to answer how devastated Shanuella was currently feeling.

“I told you already, crying on my shoulder.” Bayu protest. He held a crack in Shanuella's stomach, his chin falling on the shoulder of the woman in the purple satin sleep dress.

“I ... I ...” Shanuella tongue. He cannot think of his and Rarendra's meeting as a past wind. The wound was too painful. It was so deep that the pain was still felt even though dozens of full moons had passed.

Decomposing his embrace, Bayu placed both palms on Shanuella's shoulders. A touch as light as cotton, is expected to calm a petite body that is shaken. Squeezed slowly, then directed to face him.

The woman with the face on the trail of tears said. Cowering with both hands squeezing each other.

“Aren't you guys closing the book? Then where's your problem? Why do you keep remembering it?” cerocos Bayu's.

Shanuella.

“Lana?”

This time Shanuella flinched. Head raised, ventured to stare at her husband.

“I don't allow!” firmly Bayu, squeezing Shanuella's shoulder tightly. “Please you want to meet him, even I don't mind if you want to start again with him. But, not with Lana.” 

“Mas. I don't intend to go back to her again.”

“If indeed you can forgive him and want to return, I. But, leave Lana. Don't take Lana with you. I might be able to let you go, but not with Lana,”.

Shanuella.

“No, Mas.”

“Then cry for what? Wail him for what?”

Shanuella.

“If not, stop crying. Stop wailing. Win it for what?”

“I ...”

“Again, he's not necessarily Blade. He could be Rarendra. So ... what is lamenting for?”

“I'm sorry, Mas. I just ...”

“If he's Rarendra, yes Rarendra. Why force yourself to consider it Blade. There are many people in this world have similar faces.”

Shanuella. 

“Remember, I'm your husband. If you want to go with another man, at least divorce me on the terms that we agreed on together. Lana's custody falls on me.”

“Mas.” 

“You want to throw it away first. You want to kill your baby first. I fought for it and since then Lana is mine. You have no right anymore, Shan. Remember our agreement.”

“But ... he's my son, Mas.”

“She is also my daughter,” Bayu said. “I take care of him, I take care of him. I was always in every growth. What separates it from me. In Lana's eyes, I was her first love. Sleep now, don't think about it. Whether Rarendra or Blade, he's not who you are, Shan. Me and Lanalah are part of your life."

Bayu's voice softened and suddenly hugged. He hoped his decapitation would be able to hit all the fret that ransacked Shanuella's soul. 

I love you, Shan. When can I look at you? I love you, Shan. When can I repay my love?