My Beloved Bodyguard's
MBB 74

Like my love for you. I was hurt and you suffered. Why did God punish me by growing love in my heart. Not to other women, but to women I should hate. Get out of my life, Shan. I hate this taste, I hate this miss.

Shanuella froze, staring at the dashing back that faintly seemed to tremble was walking away from her. She was confused as to what her tears were for. After Rarendra's back disappeared behind the door, his gaze turned to Bayu. The man who had bound himself to her for the past five years was handsome looking at her sadly.

“Mas.” Vibrating, that brief greeting triggered tears back down. “Dia .. not Blade.” Shanuella. 

Bayu smiled bitterly. Standing about two meters away from Shanuella, the man did not have the courage to hug as usual. Just staring with a sad highlight hiding a poignant.

“Tell me what you want to say. I'll listen though maybe ...” 

Bayu bit his lips, unable to continue the words of encouragement when his heart was broken. She knew clearly which tears Shanuella had aimed for. Not for him, not even for Rarendra. The whimpering and roar of the pain for the man of creation that never existed. Blade is only fictitious, but the love reserved for the man is real and immense. To be able to present happiness in the middle of a wound.

“I wish him Blade, Mas.” Shanuella. Tears continue to pour, unable to be dammed.

“Why is he Blade?” Forced love is tearing Bayu's heart apart and making a gaping wound there.

Shanuella. His long hair swayed slowly.

“Then consider me Blade. It can kill me, it can hate me, it can vent all the flavor that's been squeezing in your chest. I sincerely,” said Bayu, in a desperate voice. Both of the man's hands stretched out.

“Mas.” Stiffened for a few seconds before finally scattering and hugging Bayu. “I hate him, Mas,” shirk Shanuella, shed a cry in Bayu's arms.

There was no reply, Bayu felt Shanuella's head shaking furiously inside the deck.

“It's okay if you're still in love. I-i understand. She was your first love and I had no right to throw her away because she took her own place in my wife's heart. He came before me. I know it.” Those soothing words came out from the lips full of struggle. “In fact, I should be thanking him. I can hug you, share your joys and sorrows, laughter and tears with you .. hence, ‘kan?”

Shanuella. 

“Do not look for it again. Even to the end of the world you won't find Blade. Until you close your eyes, you won't find it.  You're just going to waste time, Blade is dead or maybe he's never been in this world actually.”

The beautiful woman in Bayu's arms just sobbed.

“Tell me, what do you want to say when you meet him?” Bayu rubbed his wife's shaken back in his arms.

Shanuella. “I want to tell him, I hate him. Don't ever remember me again. I want him to regret for throwing me and Lana away. I want to see her crying under my feet. I want him to know ...”

Shanuella's lips clenched tightly as Bayu silenced her with a fleeting kiss. The man's head shook his head and forced a smile in the middle of a heart that was hurt by the wife's honest words amid the cries of tears.

“Don't say anything about Blade. I know everything in your heart without bothering to explain. Five years we've been together, I understand you inside and out. My heart ... as hurt as you.” The man's thumb slowly wiped the tears streaming down his wife's cheek. He watched closely and smiled bitterly. “I love you, Shanuella.”