Because I Don't Want to Lose
26 - Mound

It wasn't just Izzar who actually flinched. Anaya was shocked by what she said. In his heart he cursed himself. Why would he demean Izzar? Why did he remain emotional even though Izzar had apologized for lying to him about his encounter with Sasika?

Izzar's phone vibrates signifying a call. Anaya who was turning her face to the window could not see who was calling. And, he was proud to glance at it.

“Iya?... Yeah..okay! We'll meet tomorrow!” Izzar turned off his phone. Then, without saying anything, he drove back to drive home.

Izzar. He did not know how to respond to Anaya's last words. After all, Anaya was silent, though very eager to know who had called and will meet with Izzar tomorrow.  The voice in his heart believed that the caller was Sasika, because he had previously sent Izzar a message asking to meet.

In the dimness of the night street, Anaya again imagined the figure of Sasika and remembered the words of Aunt Izzar who

comparing her to that girl while at the villa. The pain he felt once again appeared. He admitted, the appearance of Sasika is much more beautiful and attractive than him. It is fitting that Izzar's relatives adore him.

Anaya could not deny that she had lost some of her confidence. Izzar is a good guy. But, if it were not for the forced, there was no way he would want to be with Anaya.

Arriving home, Naira welcomes the two of them with a sullen face. The little boy was upset about not seeing Anaya and Izzar at home when Ridwan drove him and Mba Kemi home.

“Why am I left behind? You two are evil!” Naira's lips are tapered.

“Sorry Honey, mom had to work earlier.” Anaya hugged Naira who immediately dodged and put on a fierce face.

Izzar lets Anaya persuade Naira alone. He chose to go straight into his room and lay down. He was unable to face the unfriendly attitude of two hard-hearted women in his home. Head heavy. His heart and mind are tired. That afternoon, he thought Anaya would lighten some of her burden even if she couldn't tell him. But, Anaya's attitude and words even add to the complicated problems faced by Izzar.

Izzar's eyes were closed, but he was not sleepy. In his solitude he reconsidered again the cause of his turmoil began.

                                                                             ***

If Anaya had not come across his encounter with Sasika, and he had not denied it, perhaps today would have been

doin' fine. But, the incident had already happened and ended with Anaya's anger that must be accepted. Before leaving Anaya this morning, Izzar had promised not to hide anything from Anaya.

However, his meeting with Mr. Arsyad only requires him to keep secret the larger and more complicated problems.

Two days ago, Izzar suddenly contacted the secretary of Mr. Arsyad who invited Izzar to come to meet

the old man was in his office, with a very clear message: Anaya should not know.

The ban raised allegations that the meeting was related to Anaya. Izzar, who was concerned about Anaya, accepted the invitation on Sunday, which Anaya suspected was an encounter with Sasika .

Mr. Arsyad accepted Izzar with a relaxed attitude although his prestige and charisma were still a little intimidating.

“Sorry, I interrupted your day off.” Mr. Arsyad invited Izzar to sit on the sofa in front of him.

Izzar smile.

“How are you working? I know you were in trouble.”

“Ya. But, now it has started to run even though it starts from the beginning again. ”

Mr. Arsyad smiled.

“How's Anaya doing? She knows you met me?”

“Anaya is fine. He didn't know I was here. But, suspecting I met the others,” replied Izzar.

“You mean, he suspects you're seeing another woman?” Mr. Arsyad.

“Looks.” Izzar laughed bitterly.

Mr. Arsyad laughed.

“Naira with Ridwan now?”

Mr. Arsyad nodded his head. He leaned his body against the sofa.

“I invite you, because there are important things we should talk about. About my grandson and Anaya who's been

I consider him my own son.”

Izzar sharpened his ears. But, Mr. Arsyad was silent for quite a while.

“I don't know if Anaya has told me about my pain. The doctor has set my age limit. Before I was sure that God was more powerful, I believed the doctor's verdict. Until I intend to distribute my property so that my children will not quarrel. My move may be wrong, but it's also right. Because, I seem to be shown how my children behave later when I am not around.. Especially Ridwan,” said Mr. Arsyad.

The old man went silent again. His eyes look tired. Izzar kept trying to calm down.

“You know, my good intentions are to make sure Naira's future is assured and not lacking. But, I didn't think Ridwan would be that tall. Maybe it was my fault to educate him, until he was so desperate to find an excuse and threatened Anaya would take Naira for the sake of mastering his treasure. Though, before that he didn't really care about the boy.”

Izzar's heart was pounding hard with his old speech and eyes. Izzar felt Mr. Arsyad slowly

she was disarming herself and Anaya.

“Naira is definitely very valuable for Anaya. He has no parents, no siblings…

Naira is his only family. So, I can understand why he is reckless to force you to marry him, even though he has to sacrifice his pride and incur considerable costs.”

Izzar's heart stopped beating for a moment. Silent surroundings. Where did Mr. Arsyad know the secret

Anaya and herself?

“You need not be confused from where I can know your contract agreement with Anaya, and everything.” Mr. Rsyad continued to look at Izzar who became misbehaved.

“Sorry before, if I have investigated you and found out your background, because to me it is very strange and suspicious when suddenly Anaya married you who was newly known and was in debt,” said Mr. Arsyad.

Izzar was not happy with Mr. Arsyad's words.

“I apologize if it is considered to have used the situation Anaya at that time as a way out of the problems I faced. You could say we need each other. But, however, I am committed to the agreement Anaya made. Even if only on paper, Anaya's status is my wife. And, I'm responsible

take care of him and also Naira,” explained Izzar without the intention of defending himself.

Izzar tried to remain calm, although inwardly tried to dampen his anxiety. Mr. Arsyad smiled.

“Honestly I was angry with Anaya, because I thought she was too careless to choose a husband and stepfather for Naira. But, after I observed and noticed, it turns out that you are indeed a good and responsible man. I actually wish Ridwan had an attitude and character like you. But, yes there is no way I can change it.” Paks

Arsyad raised both his hands in surrender.

Anaya's former in-law closed his eyes, contemplating his defeat to his son even though he had tried to give his best for him. Meanwhile, Izzar imagines what Anaya's reaction would be if he knew his secret had been known by Ridwan's father.

“Izzar... When is your marriage contract expired?” ask Mr. Arsyad after being able to get rid of his disappointment.

“About 7 months.”

“After that how? You guys are getting divorced?... Then, what about Ridwan's demands if you split up? Isn't that what he wanted to have a reason to take over Naira?” Mr. Arsyad looked back seriously at Izzar.

Mr. Arsyad's consecutive questions are difficult to answer Izzar.

“You love Anaya?”

Izzar's head was raised. Not yet he can find the right answer, the more difficult question arises. Izzar's lips were tightly clenched. In her mind was her quarrel this morning with Anaya.

                                                                                 ***