Because I Don't Want to Lose
51 - Mound

Izzar gave up on facing a strong Anaya with his choice. Plus because there was a loss in his heart due to bad news about his mother from Resti, his mother's assistant, who called him earlier.

After closing the door, he immediately contacted Resti. She said her mother had been treated by doctors at the hospital's emergency room because she had fallen in her room after taking a shower. Blood pressure and low sugar levels cause mama Izzar dizziness, weakness and loss of balance.

He did not mean to ignore Anaya and put his mother first. Indeed, he was very disappointed with Anaya's attitude and all the statements. Nor does he not want to fight. With anger that still supports Anaya, free also he denied all his expectations. And, he is not the type of man who likes to impose his will.

With half a heart riddled with disappointment, Izzar rushed to the hospital and focused his attention on his mother's condition.

Doctors required that Izzar's mother be treated to stabilize her blood pressure and sugar levels. At first the friendly woman refused. He offered to restore himself at home. He was uncomfortable with the atmosphere and the smell of the hospital. However, given his age, doctors did not allow. Izzar had to persuade him to obey.

"You don't feel right here, Zar." Her mother continued to express her protest when she was in the treatment room. Though the rooms chosen by Izzar the best VIP class with similar service facilities 5-star hotel.

"Believe it... The doctor said it was only three days. Hence, eat a lot, let it heal quickly."  Izzar fixed the blanket covering his mother's legs.

"But there's nothing good in the hospital."

"What would you like to eat? I'll order it." Izzar tried to pamper his mother.

"Hm... Can you ask Anaya to make rice mama chicken mushroom team? Mom once ate that cooking. Delicious."

Izzar. He could not remember when Anaya made the food for his mother. Probably on one of his visits to his house.

"Can, Zar?" ask her mother expectantly.

"Yes, I'll try asking." Izzar replied that his mother's origin was happy. Although he does not know how to ask Anaya for help, or tell his mother that Anaya has ended the relationship.

That night, Izzar waits for his mother in the hospital's VIP room. Resti told him to go home and rest. After his mother slept, he laid his tired body on the sofa. He hopes to fall asleep soon. But the burden on his heart made his mind unsettled.

His head was heavy with many things. And the most domineering one was Anaya's accusation of using her

Now, there is a feeling of regret for starting his relationship with Anaya by accepting his money offer. Although at that time he was in dire need of it and thought their togetherness would only continue to be transactional. Who would have thought if then they ended up playing with heart.

But, if Anaya does not bind him with a material contract, will they also be together? Given that Izzar was at the lowest point of his life and he was totally unthinkable to know Anaya as well as other women.

Anaya reveals the transaction, like the knife that scratched Izzar. He just noticed it now, which part was scratched inside. His pride shouted furiously in pain.

His eyes closed, trying to get the woman out of his mind.

...***...

Anaya sat hugging her knees, pensively alone. Sometimes his eyes turned to the door, fantasizing Izzar came again knocking or even pounding on him. A delusion that is really just a hallucination.

The pain in his head made him realize that Izzar was really gone. And he himself caused it. His conscience regrets doing so. But his ego denies that he has done anything wrong.

"That guy was wrong, really! Unbelievable, and just take advantage of it." The voice of ego takes away his conscience.

Now, he complains of his dizziness. He counted how many days he was dizzy like this, and his nausea suddenly began to appear again.

He remembered the last time he felt similar pain. If you are sick, quite often. Because he was often late to eat until the stomach acid screamed up. This time, he took his stomach medication.

Then, the same experience seven years ago was present again in his memory. His chest immediately rumbled. Open the calendar app on his phone and count the days after the date he has marked.

Anaya shut her mouth. Surprised themselves.

Cellphone ringing. Sandra called. This time he did not ignore it by answering it directly.

"Yes, San?."

"Yes, geez! Where the hell are you? Why is my phone not answered? Don't be arrogant, yeah! Don't be so stupid butih me! If there is anything, who will help you?... Can you tell me I'm worried about thinking about you all the time? Huh uh?!" Sandra expressed her frustration.

"You sick?" Sandra's tone softened.

"Yes. My headaches and nausea aren't gone."

"Where are you?" ask Sandra.

"Kalibata."

"Send address. Let me go there. I promise I won't tell Izzar this time."

"He was here."

"Is she still with you?"

"He's gone." Anaya's tears melted. "I told you, I don't want to be the same person who benefits me. Keep going, he says okay and leaves."

Sandra could feel Anaya's pain. He doesn't know exactly what happened. But he understood, Anaya can be very stubborn when it comes to love. He likes to lose with his ego.

"Don't be mad at me, San. I'm sorry about this morning. I'm confused." Anaya begged.

"Yes, Nay. But **t**please don't do that anymore. I'm not someone else, am I? I just want what's best for you."

"Yes, I get it."

You wanna come here?" Anaya tried to hold back her crying.

"Yes! Okay fine! I'm there!"

Anaya ended her call. After successfully drying her tears, she shared the location and full address of her position with Sandra. He also sent a message that his best friend would buy him something he really needs right now.

Sandra immediately put on her jacket and put her wallet in her bag, then grabbed Anaya's car keys. In the elevator, he checked Anaya's message. He knew the address of the apartment given. His mind immediately thought of the fastest road route

The next message from Anaya left him stunned. But he refused to ask back.

Sandra arrives at Anaya's apartment with a large grocery bag and a plastic bag. Anaya just sat quietly watching Sandra take out the contents. Dry food, tissue, soap, milk, bread...

"Have you eaten?" ask Sandra.

"Dine is not yet" replied Anaya.

Sandra thrusts a ricebowl of teriyaki chicken at Anaya. "You want me toapin?"

Anaya. He was calm with his best friend now. Sandra always acted like her mother, paying attention to details. He regretted being sulky and making her anxious all day. All because of Izzar.

He took a breath. He instilled hatred towards the man in his chest.

Sandra sat next to Anaya. He put a plastic bag depicting the pharmacy logo on his lap.

"This is your order. You didn't say what brand it was. So, I bought some," said Sandra. Put four different pregnancy testpack boxes on the table.

"Which one do you want to wear?"

Anaya just looked at him. His heart was troubled to suspect the result.

...***...