DEAPECTRUMS
037. PUNISHMENT OF HEART

Like a rain stub that falls soaking the earth and making the ground brittle because of it, I feel the same way. Like thousands of needles raining down and making my heart wither away, that's how I feel right now.

Cleve's cry made me feel like life was really unfair to both of us. One by one, we lost very valuable people in our lives. To make matters worse, I felt that all this would continue to happen and did not know when it was over.

Everything that happened made me hate this life even more.

They pushed me and Cleve into a room filled with mirrors. The room was quite large but there was nothing but mirrors that continued to reflect our shadows.

Cleve and I stayed in that place for a long time. Cleve was still crying over Hansly's death which made me even more confused as to how.

But I don't want to bother him right now because I understand how painful it is to lose a precious person, especially if that person dies in front of his own eyes and to help him as well.

The door opened and the most frightening figure appeared in the college Gyeld Enn Chourius, Madam Margaux or what we call Mother.

Mom came with Bu Bianca and a lady from college brought all the stuff we left behind first. There was also a sword I used to carry.

Mother continued to stare at us with her cold gaze for a while, without saying a word.

“Search them and grab all the things they have!” Excited Mother.

The woman whose name I didn't know of searched Cleve first and took out a ring that Cleve was wearing. Cleve tried to retake it because he did not want it taken, but his efforts were in vain.

I can guess that ring was Hansly's gift. That thing must be very valuable to him.

That necklace! I remembered the necklace that belonged to a boy and held my neck, but it wasn't on my neck. I tried to remember where the necklace went but could not remember the necklace. Even after the woman ransacked me, she found nothing of me.

Is that necklace gone?

“Burn everything,” said Mother.

All the items were put into a place made of aluminum and they immediately burned it. All without rest. I noticed a bottle and was surprised to find that it was a bottle that held Isbell's ashes.

“Look at yourself,” said Mother after all our belongings burned to nothing left. “You two are really stupid. I was kind enough to give you a chance to keep you both alive. But what are you doing?” Shouted Mom with a very angry face. “I gave that recommendation to you for wanting to give you both a chance, but you guys destroyed it instead.” Mother looked at Cleve who was just downcast and crying. “Don't blame me if only one of you makes it to life. Blame yourself!” Continue Mother.

I don't understand what all of his words mean.

“Bring him in!” Mom exclaimed with cold eyes at me and Cleve.

The door opened and another woman entered with our friend Marchi. Marchi looked so weak with her face pale and bruised. Seeing her condition made me shed tears again.

Marchi looked at me and Cleve with a look of sadness. It made me realize that we were wrong to leave him alone in this place.

They pushed Marchi to her knees, then pointed a gun at our friend's head—Marchi.

“You know what the heart penalty means?” I asked, but we both did not answer. “The punishment is there to make you feel like you always blame yourself for losing something valuable to yourself. Not only valuable objects that will be destroyed even something that will not be replaced by anything.”

“For a long time this kind of punishment was not done, but I always wanted to do it" continued the mother.

“A—what will you do?” My lips trembled when I said the question because my mind immediately sprinkled something scary after hearing Mother's words.

“Even though he didn't open his mouth but I know you guys always train with that slave every night. I won't ask you to tell me where the slave is because it doesn't matter anymore. I'm sure one day will find it,” exclaimed Mother. “Blame yourself for what is happening right now.”

Suddenly Mom took the gun pointed at Marchi and immediately fired a shot at Marchi's head.

My tears were rushing out watching our friend die in front of us and it was all our fault.

I remembered my time with Marchi. Marchi who always seemed unwell but was always with the two of us.

She is a kindhearted girl who is very poor. It's all our fault, yes our fault for involving it for everything we do.

“They lock up in a dark room during an unspecified time. I wonder how strong they survive!” Excited Mother.

Only darkness was visible in my eyes when I was in this room without light. No sound was heard except Cleve's sobbing. Not even I could see Cleve because it was so dark in this room.

Cleve continued to cry and never said anything after Hansly's death. If remembering Marchi's death makes me continue to shed tears. And we are now in a dark room with no idea when it will be taken out.

Are we both going to die in this place because of the mistakes we made? If I have to die now I will. I was desperate because everything I did was for nothing. There's nothing that's the reason I'm alive right now.

During my three months of living in Deapectrum, I found neither the Jatnera nor the boy who helped my life first. Even now I have lost her necklace, the thing that had been my reason for surviving because I wanted to return it to its owner.

Everything disappeared instantly, plus my guilt for Marchi's death. I would be willing to die now.

“Cleve, are we going to die here?” I asked Cleve who was beside me. Cleve did not reply and continued to sob because of her cries. “Hansly's death and Marchi's death.we both deserve to die.”.

I remember when I was punished in a dark room like this. At that moment I felt that I was going to die.

I started singing the song I used to sing in this dark room. The song that Jatnera always sang, it was the song that Isbell taught us, the song called My Angel.

If Jatnera is still alive I hope he sings with me right now. I want to hear her beautiful voice singing her favorite song.

I continued to sing even with breathless breathing and added to the sobbing that choked my neck.

Cleve stopped crying as I sang. It made me shed more tears.

I feel a lot of sadness right now. I don't think I can bear it much longer.

...@racing_al.aska...