Story In July (End )
Day one - 29
The sound of ambulance sirens was so loud that they forced and slit into my ears, my eyes unblinkingly staring at someone who was lying weakly on a gurney with a breathing apparatus stuck in his nose.
All of this happened when I, Princess and brother Rido were going to go to school, at first everything was fine but when on the doorstep Rido suddenly fainted.
Though that's all that happened but why the mother, Princess and papah look very panicked, and more terrible is that both cars suddenly broke down when they were needed.
So that in the end Papah also called an ambulance to come home immediately, all happened so quickly even I did not have time to be able to breathe regularly from earlier.
While I was still wrestling with my mind suddenly a hand big enough to wipe my tears that suddenly fell, and the hand came from the weak hands of Rido.
As soon as I woke up from my daydream, I saw him pull the corner of his lips while slightly shaking his head, as if telling me not to cry.
Immediately I rubbed my two eyes that released the clear liquid.
"Don't cry" at first glance I looked at her lips that said that then after that she returned unconscious.
The noise of the nurses was heard so clearly when the ambulance just arrived in front of the hospital, more precisely the hospital that yesterday became a silent witness to the failure of my suicide plan.
Do you guys know? The nurses numbered about 10 people and it made me even more frightened, not even many of them said that they should hurry up and deal with the patients.
"Hurry and call doctor Andri to come here immediately, because the patient has to be treated immediately!" one of the nurses.
They continued to push the gurney that was screwed by Rido, not only pushing as usual but they pushed it by running as if they were late for one minute then everything was over.
Wh why? What's the matter? Why are their faces so panicked? He just fainted no more, that's what's always been on my mind.
My breath began to pant, my head felt like it was going around in circles because of all the noise that was happening, even my ears were buzzing very hard. Me, I can't take it anymore.
Slowly my eyes began to fade and turn black, and not long after that I was unconscious, dark only dark remained.
..._o0o_...
Slowly but surely I began to open my eyes and when my vision began to clear at once I woke up, and I was presented with the pungent smell of medicine and my right hand was infused.
Slender...
There was no one here I began to ponder whether everything that happened was just a dream?!, even stupidly I still thought that I was still here since the collision.
I looked up at my shirt and my shirt was not a high school uniform but a patient shirt that I used yesterday even now I don't wear a hijab, now I'm back to contemplating whether this is all a dream.
I remembered something then I held my head with my right hand and it turned out that my head was still bandaged, this was so very strange to me that even I was still in the same room as the room I was in at that time.
Slowly I looked at the clock that showed at 15:30 I frowned, I remember now whether I took a nap after doing the dzuhur prayer, but I don't know.
I flicked my coils and walked towards the window that looked late in the afternoon, slowly taking a breath from my nose and exhaling it from my mouth if it was all a dream, but why did it feel so real.
Then not long after the door opened and I knew it must be Riza's sister, "Laughter." Call someone who opened the door.
I scrunched my forehead like the sound of papah, I turned my body and saw the papah and mother who were on the doorstep.
"You are aware of Zahwa" said the mother.
I was more confused after seeing the mother and suddenly my head began to feel swirling, I then held my head with my left hand and saw a bracelet that haunted the stars there.
Instantly I was stunned after seeing the bracelet, because the bracelet was given by Brother Rido while we were on vacation to the Beach, so all this...
"Wawa are you papa?" ask Papah and start to step forward but just one step papah walk I have stopped the movement of papah by giving questions to him.
"Kak Rido why?" my many.
" ... Wh-what?" ask papah back.
"I ASKED RANDO WHY!" my snapping.
Instantly the mother was imprisoned in shock and then held her sturdy hand belonging to the papah, while the papah was immediately stunned to see my attitude like that, maybe it reminded her of the events of a few years ago.
"Patience is sweet. Rido's brother, he-"
"He what?" as if.
"She's just plain sick" Papah replied without glancing at me, seeing her reaction like that as soon as I smiled.
"Lied..!" press me, then I push the gurney with my right foot.
And immediately mother was imprisoned because of shock even papah immediately widened his eyes when I did that.
"Zahwa!" bentak.
"Why pah? Why angry? I know papah's lying and it's the thing I hate the most. Even I was fed up with the things related to lies" I said, with eyes that stared intently at the papah and papah he returned my gaze with a sharp look as well.
"It's enough Zahwa! Papah fed up with your attitude, which the more it feels more and more" he snapped again.
"Is he fed up with my attitude?! I'm also sick of papah's attitude and nature"
The situation is still but the atmosphere here is very uncomfortable, and that is what is felt by the mother.
Then several times the mother rubbed her wrists papah "You don't get angry, Zahwa will be sick again so mending us out first" said mother, trying to calm papah who ignited emotions.
After that they turned out of my room and closed the door, but after closing the door suddenly they heard the sound of something breaking.
Soon papah opened the door and the first sight was me who was standing with a flower vase scattered right in front of me.
"Zahwa what are you doing?!" yelled papah while running towards me and then held my left hand.
"Are you out of your mind!" bentak.
"Daddy I'm not sane! Ever since I was born as a papah child, it's not the love or affection I get. But even the demands, the insults, the mockery, and the lies that I often get!" I said no less to beat him.
"From then on I have not been sane pah" pressed me, heard it papah then lowered my hand and stared softly at me.
"Did papah know? Papah was the worst father I've ever met" I said, as soon as Papah was wide awake to hear it.
"Zahwa!" shouting mother.
'Plak' - a slap so hard landed on my cheek that even as it slapped my face directly towards my right side, the sound of the slap sounded so loud in my room.
For the first time I got a slap from my mother, my own birth mother, I also held my cheek that felt hot from the slap earlier.
"Mother knows, you are angry with you but if you also know your papah is trying to correct his mistake. And you.." pause mother at a glance while showing her index finger in front of me.
"It's not appropriate to talk like that" he said.
"Bun.." call papah.
"No mas. Don't defend him, his brothers have never been like this, he's been late" she said.
"No. That Bun Zahwa..."
"Mother right reward I'm different from Princess and sister Rido, I'm different from the two of them. Who am I then?" lirihku, with the same position that is holding my left cheek with a face that is still facing my right side.
"I whose son is Pah? Why am I different from them?" I dared to look at them both.
"Laughter, listen to papah first" said papah with his hand that tried to embrace me.
"No!" as I was, pushing both his hands and with my legs running backwards, and instantly my legs bled because I stepped on the broken glass.
"Zahwa your feet" said papah.
The feeling of pain spread throughout my body but I ignored it just the pain was not comparable to the pain in my heart, you will know what it would be like if you were me.
"Princess calls doctor Riza here to tell her to bring a tranquilizer injection and tell her too that Zahwa is relapsing" she cried papah, hearing it without further ado The princess ran off somewhere.
"Why was Zahwa given a sedative injection?" ask mom to look at the wonder towards papah.
"Because Zahwa suffers from bipolar mental disorder." papah's great-granddaughter, hearing that instant mother widened her eyes maybe you don't know that her son has such a terrible mental disorder.
"W-what? Why did you never say? Why have you been quiet all this time?!" shouted mother while shaking papah's body.
"Sorry, I don't want you to think" heard that mom exhaled from her mouth while holding her forehead, then her eyes glanced at me.
"Zahwa sorryin bund -"
"Go!" as I was, my mother was suddenly caught up because of my screams.
"You get out of here!" yell again.
"No Zahwa, you must-"
"OUT!" I snapped, then I crouched down and held both of my ears.
"Udah bun's. It will not work at this time Zahwa is not able to control his emotions so if we get closer to him, fear Zahwa instead turns to hurt us" said Papah while holding the shoulder.
Not long after, the Princess and Riza's sister were seen on the doorstep, and Riza's sister ran straight towards me.
"No! Go lo, I know everyone in the world is a liar I don't trust anyone anymore" I shouted.
"Hey, hey, hey this is deck brother. This is sister Riza, sister never lies with you" said sister Riza while holding both of my shoulders.
"Go!" I nodded while pushing both hands.
"Gue doesn't want to trust anyone anymore, I know in this world all liars, they are selfish too! They only think of themselves" I said with a sobbing tone in each word.
"No, deck don't talk like that. That's not true" Riza argued and tried to embrace me again.
"No! I said GO! GO!" I snapped while pushing Riza's body backwards and in the end Riza's body hit the gurney.
"Ish.." sizzled Riza because her spine was sore.
"We need to get out of here now!" yell, brother Riza.
"But why?" ask Princess.
"Zahwa can not be invited to cooperate, we have to wait for him a little calm first"
"Keep if the conditions remain the same how?" ask the Princess again, immediately Brother Riza was silent for a moment.
"There is no other way, other than-call the RSJ side and take it there" replied Riza as she lowered her head.
"No!" reject the Princess and brother Rido who just came, immediately everyone in my room also glanced at Rido who was on the doorstep.
"Zahwa is not going anywhere" he said with gasping breaths in each word.
"But there's no other way"
"No!" snapped Rido immediately mother, father, sister Riza and Princess terjenjat because of shock.
"As long as I'm here no one will take Zahwa to such a place" said Rido.
After that Rido's foot came to me which seemed very chaotic, blood continued to flow from my feet, a very vibrating body and both hands that continued to hold both ears.
"Za.." call Brother Rido soft.
"Go!" my snapping.
"Za this is ka-- this is brother"
"No, I don't want to. I don't want to trust anyone anymore" I cried hysterically.
The shadow of the person who constantly bullies, insults, insults, mockery, and many things that I often receive as a child continues to haunt my mind.
"Za.." again brother Rido kept calling my name softly even this time he intended to embrace me.
But again I pushed Rido's arm even I pushed his body, until he fell backward.
"Already Rido maybe what Brother Riza said is true. We have to take Zahwa to that place so maybe his mental disorder can be a little reduced" pause papah at a glance.
"The mental hospital is not a place of torture, but a place for people who have mental disorders can get better treatment" he said.
At once Rido's brother fell silent and then he glanced at me who continued to be in the same condition "Allow Ido to persuade Zahwa again father, if Zahwa's condition is still like that then Ido. will obey the way papah" heard that papah silent for a moment then hesitantly papah nodded his head.
As if getting the green light from the papah, Rido came back to me, while I still remained difficult to approach.
"Za, please beat me up"
"No, no! I don't want to hear anything anymore" I snapped again.
"Every word you say is a lie, so why should I listen to you. You never think of the people you lie to" I said.
Then suddenly Brother Rido hugged me very tightly while I, I kept trying to rebel in order to escape from his embrace.
"AFTER, I SAID FREELANCE!" I snapped with a hand hitting Rido's shoulder.
"SILENCE!" snapped brother Rido, somehow my body suddenly just pecked when from earlier I continued to rebel but with just that one word I immediately obeyed.
"Or you will go far away from me Za" said Rido, hearing that I grew even more sculpted inexplicably my chest hurt so much.
"Za, everyone is never free from lies. But some of them do it because they are forced not all the lies are done because of evil intentions, some are lying just for the good of others themselves" said Rido at a glance.
"Did you know? Sometimes even parents lie for our own good, they do not mean to hurt their children. They want to keep their children's feelings"
"You're still reminding me, what did you say back then?" ask her, while I did not scowl her at all.
"What you see and what you value is not necessarily all true, for there will always be a reason behind someone's treatment of us" I soon realized, I started to remember when he said it.
"We just need to be ready to hear the reason they're doing that from their own mouths"
At that moment I was crying hysterically and returning Rido's hug very tightly, I started to get scared. For reasons they would say I was afraid to hear, I was afraid.
"Sheel! Do not cry" said brother Rido while stroking my head covered by my hijab.
"Don't cry.." he said again.
"Everything will be fine, brother, everything will be fine right?!" isakku.
Even though I have a tall body and mature enough thoughts from a child my age but still, in me I still have the feeling of a child who does not want to be left behind.
"Dad... Everything will be fine, hopefully" he said at the end of his sentence, after hearing that my cry was hysterical and the whole room was filled with the sound of my crying.
The pain of abandonment and the pain that runs through me all combined into one, all this makes me even more tormented if I can be honest.
I no longer wanted to live, but the world forced me to keep going even though the path I walked was just a thorn.
Seriate...
^^17 august 2022^^^
^^^Wida pitriyani^^^