Suddenly a Husband
There is Abah Buried Bang Sigit

I went home today. Before, I bought souvenirs. Talcum powder, kipang for Abah, a bag for Ami dah Snek for Alif that I don't know if he will like or not. I only bought my favorite Snek when I was in school. All that I bought according to what I think they like and need at this time based on my observation when a few days were at home yesterday.

Once I feel enough, I go home.

Actually I bought all that not for no reason, but for something. I did it to fix everything. Treating the wound in the heart of the mother because I had denied the mother who asked me to marry Yohana, became a great enemy of Abah at home and also not close to Ami and Alif. I am his brother and his brother. I really hope the showdown at home ends soon and our relationship can improve to be normal like everyone else.

Although my family has never really gotten along. Abah, even though he is a cleric who is known to be knowledgeable in the community, but has a bad temper on his family. Abah likes to impose his will on his son and wife. Likes to play hands when the desire is not obeyed. Making his wife angry and his children treated like slaves that can be ordered whatever he wants without thinking about our feelings. Abah always reasoned that the child's heaven was with her mother, while the wife's heaven was with her husband's Ridha. So everything should be subject to him without any exceptions.

Finished with the souvenir business, I immediately pumped gas towards the house. Before entering the alley, my motorbike turned first towards the cemetery owned by the complex, where bang Sigit buried. Since bang Sigit died three months ago, I have never made another pilgrimage here. My relationship with Bang Sigit is not very close. In addition to our age which is quite far adrift, plus bang Sigit which was always "forced" to follow Abah. He was often brought by Abah when he was filling out studies, often had to follow Abah's will. While I'm used to being free and always keeping my distance from Abah.

If I think about it, bang Sigit was quite pityful actually. He used to say he wanted to be a footballer, but Abah was angry, Abah wanted him to be an ustadz as well. Therefore Abah always brought Abang wherever Abah filled out the study. Bang Sigit was forced to like everything Abah liked, away from anything Abah did not like, including the ball.

I once saw with my own eyes, Bang Sigit beaten Abah because he preferred ball exkul rather than Arabic lessons. The clothes, shoes and balls he bought with his own savings were destroyed Abah. His condition at that time was very sad, but no one in the house who dared to defend let alone help him, could have turned even into a rampage Abah next. We could only watch from behind the windows of each room.

My arrival this time, in addition to wanting a pilgrimage also wanted to tell about Yohana and Alif. Also about my feelings for him who is no longer angry. I've let everything go so that bang Sigit can go quietly. I'm actually sorry, only able to be sincere after some time, but this is much better than holding a grudge for good.

My motorbike parked in front, I walked towards eating bang Sigit which was at the corner. Although I just went there, but I quite memorized my brother's final resting place.

A few more blocks to the tomb bang Sigit, my steps stopped. There's Abah there. Sitting down, staring at the tombstone of bang Sigit. What made me hide was seeing Abah crying with her mouth twitching like she was talking, but whether Abah said anything, because the distance is good and Abah's voice is very week makes me unable to listen.

I didn't see it wrong. Abah was really crying. He gently caressed the tombstone of Brother like stroking the head of bang Sigit. Whatisthis? This is the other side of Abah that I never knew about before. Twenty-four years I lived as Abah's son, I never saw that stubborn man shed tears, even when bang Sigit died. Abah as usual, melengos, leaving us who automatically cry, while if there are guests that he feels worthy of respect then then he will meet and talk.

I think that the sudden departure of Abang can make Abah change. But no, the man remained stone-headed. He remains a dictator who imposes his will on us his family. Nothing has changed and it seems like he has no heart and will be like that forever.

Abah was still solemn in front of eating bang Sigit. She's still crying. I wonder what made Abah do all that. Just about to fix the peek position, suddenly Abah got up, made my heart pound, afraid to be discovered Abah and become a new problem. Though the purpose of my return is to improve relations with all family members, especially Abah. It is said that people are difficult to change the nature of people, but there is no harm in trying.

After Abah left, I approached my brother's grave. A man whose blood is the same as mine, but never close to me. I rubbed his headstone. I don't feel any tears flowing.

"Bang ... Ben misses," I said. "Abang, if only time could be rotated, Ben wanted to be close to Abang. We want to repair our relationship that feels foreign. Unfortunately, it's all too late. Even saying goodbye I can't, bang. Now I'm sorry, bang. But I'm gonna fix everything. I will make our family better in the future. Brother ... calm down there yes. I pray you get the best place. I will also try to take good care of my son. At this time he was a kara, after Brother left, his mother left. But calm down, bang, there is me too, who though will never be able to change the position of Brother in his heart, but I will try to be a good om for Alif "I said. The clear threads that had already fallen now I wipe with my right hand. The bunch of roses I had bought in front of me was now on the tombstone of bang Sigit, but as I was about to get up, my eyes were fixed on something beside my feet. Black book cover.