Suddenly a Husband
Go home, Ben!

Twenty-four hours have I been at the police station, not the slightest intention to leave this place until I know the whereabouts of Johana. The man I had originally considered his brother had long since left, it seemed that he was afraid to see me again because of the blow I had previously dealt as a gift because he had used Johana.

[Ben, gohome. What else are you there for? Is it not clear that Johana is no more.] Said the mother from the other end of the phone. He did tell me about the news of the discovery of a corpse that allegedly looks like Yohana.

[Ben won't leave until everything is clear.] I said.

[It's going to be hard to prove it, Ben.] Obviously mother, considering there are no blood brothers. But still my mother's opinion ignored. For me, Yohana is alive, she must be somewhere, somewhere, obviously someday I'll find her. [If you're sure the body isn't Yohana, then why are you still waiting for her at the police station, Ben? don't lie to your heart anymore, Ben. Hear well. You are actually sure it is Yohana, just because you are not ready with the reality.]

My phone's closed. I shook my head strongly. I'll ignore your words because I'm pretty sure they're not true. But the stronger I refused, somehow my heart said something else. Aghhh, I can't handle all this!

"Son, are you okay?" a man of Abah's age approached. He is one of the police who served here, from the beginning he was very attentive to me, even at lunch he did not forget to give rice packs for me. "It must be hard to accept this fact, but believe me, God knows what's best for his servant." The police officer named Rizal said. "Son Ben, that's your name, right? If you want, just rest at my house. It just so happened that my house was empty. My son and wife live in the city, usually a weekend play here or vice versa. Pity you if you stay here, you also need rest." He offered his house which was still in the police station area.

At first I didn't want you to, but what Mr. Rizal said was true, I was very tired. Although I disavow but my body as if screaming to lie down for a while.

We finally went to his house. The official house is quite simple with perfumed furniture. Mr. Rizal offered food, but I refused, only asking for a glass of warm water before I fell asleep so tired. Maybe my heart is much more tired than physical, so it feels doubled because the heart is unhappy.

***

"Yohana ... Yohana don't go!" I'm after Yohana. He ran no less fast. That girl doesn't want to see me. But in the end I was able to catch up to him as well. I pulled her shoulder so she turned around, but when her face was visible, I could not hide the shock, her face was deathly pale with bruises filled with water everywhere, unlike the real Yohana.

"Why Ben? Are you afraid to see me? My face is like this because I'm drowning, Ben. Not just my face, but my hands, my legs and my whole body, Ben. Everything is full of water." Joanna showed her hands and feet. As he said, everything is full of water that smells like comb water. I got nauseous kissing her, so unconsciously took a few steps back. "Ben, where are you going? You don't want to see me in this condition? You're disgusted, aren't you, Ben? But this is how I am now Ben. Are you sorry you found me now turned full of water, Ben?"

"No Han, no!" I screamed loudly. Trying to shake my head so I don't see it. You are like whatever I really love you Han, but I don't understand why my stomach suddenly became nauseous?

Dreamlike. It turns out everything was just a dream. When I opened my eyes, there was no Yohana whose whole body was full of water. Now I am at Rizal's house and in front of me there is no Johana. I said Istighfar several times while sweeping the sweat that was rushing down my forehead. That was a very scary dream.

"Son Ben let's pray at dawn." Take Mr. Rizal, he passed away leaving me.

***

It's been a week from morning until afternoon I waited at the police station, the night came home to Mr. Rizal's house. During that time, I just sat quietly waiting for if there were reports of people losing family members, while trying to find out about the identity of the corpse. Mr. Rizal also helped find out where Yohana was if the body was not him.

While waiting, suddenly someone came. Ami, he got here on your orders. Ami was asked to take me back to Depok.

"Bang, gohome. I know you're sad to lose Yohana. But the police have also promised to inform if there has been news about Brother Yohana or the corpse. So now let's go home. Poor mom, bang. During the night the mother cried, regretting her actions to Brother and sister Yohana even though the mother must be there for Abah who is still undergoing treatment." Ami says.

If I could, I wouldn't want to make you feel guilty for being the one who made Yohana suffer. But I can't leave him now. I was afraid when Yohana found out I wasn't here and she left again. Yohana does not know the island of Sumatra, he is also not a person who is used to traveling. Decades of his life were spent serving only my family.

"Bang, our family's a mess. Mother is currently not okay. Mother is sick, bang. Mommy was diagnosed with breast cancer, the days of mother are filled only with crying and regret. Before you return to God, can you not give good memories to you? We become a whole family like a real family? Mother so because of the circumstances bang. Have mercy Mother. I was upset with my mother at first, even very angry, but now my mother's condition is very weak. After all, mother is our mother. As bad as he is we have to keep doing good to him." Ami says.

I was crying, not knowing what to do. I don't want to leave Yohana alone here, but I can't if I'm not by her side in her weakest moments. My crying became more and more so, Ami tried to calm down.

"Han, forgive me, I have to go to finish my service to Mother.You are the one who always advised me to be good to Abah and Mother even though sometimes I do not like their attitude. But trust me, I will never forget you. I'll keep looking for you. I'll be back, Han." That very afternoon, after taking all the belongings in mes, Ami and I went home. Along the way, I continued to cry without caring about the questionable gazes of the people.