Suddenly a Husband
Apologize to Those Who Hurt Abah

As the oldest and only son left, I was responsible to both my parents as well Ami and Alif. I can no longer play around because the burden on my shoulders is not light. Right now I have to work hard for them.

"Ben, can you talk?" Mother said, sitting next to me in the chair. "Ben, you know how Abah and Mommy were in the past. There are so many sins that we commit to others, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Our arrogance and tyranny have gone far beyond our limits. Ben, you regret everything and want to repent. It's just that there are some major sins that still hamper your mother's heart and mother believes that sin is also what makes your mother and brother become human who lost their direction at this time. Mother little by little loss of vision is also a pain that continues to gnaw. While Abah, He was like a daze, God made him open his own disgrace so that he was further humbled by others. Mother is very sure we have become the ingredients of people as we used to lead people to tempt anyone who we think interferes with our lives. Perhaps by asking for pleasure from the people who hurt Abah, his heart can be calmer and not emotional anymore as it is now." Mother said.

"Then what should I do, Bun?" I asked, looking at my mother. To be honest, this matter really drains my energy, but this is the service I have to live. Heavy indeed, considering I am a cute human who can be said to be very minimal in interacting with others because of the hard upbringing I got when I was a child. I am also often in part or not humbled by Abah if it is not in accordance with his wishes. That's why I always close myself off from others.

"Ben, can you replace Abah asking for their pleasure?" Mother explained to me about some people who are believed to hold a great grudge against Abah. "This is Mr. Diki whose son yesterday almost hit Abah. He used to almost die beaten by the work of Abah who said that Pak Diki was playing shaman and numbal. Mother is very sure he grudges Abah because after that his wife died, not strong with those who cornered him." Mother said.

Hearing my story makes me shudder. Is that Abah? Just because his son studied in Cairo Egypt, Abah worried that his son would rival the Sigit bang who only studied at UIN, so Abah made up such a story so that his son stopped attending college. Abah did manage to tear the family apart. His eldest son did not graduate from Cairo, eventually only passed the cottage.

"Then Alif's mother." Mother said.

"Yohana?" I looked at mom.

"Not Ben, but his real mother. Her name is Lila Nuryani. She's a college friend of your brother's, only she's famous as a night woman. They were in love, somehow at first, but your brother said he loved her and she had changed. Your brother has also been able to accept his past and is ready to educate Mbak Lika. It's just that Abah can't accept her as a daughter-in-law because she was pregnant first and her background is not good in Abah's eyes even though the girl had already repented. Abah was really intense pressure on him, making Mbak Lila expelled from campus and the most painful is your brother had to tell people to harass him so he had fallen and finally he ran away." Mother said as she shed tears. "From the bang Sigit mother had heard that Mbak Lila was undergoing treatment in a mental hospital because of the inner pressure after giving birth to Alif, but since then we lost track of him. Mother only knows her parents' house in the Bogor area, whether she returned there or not."

Is Abah not afraid if Alif will grow up and find out everything and then hate Abah? I can only take part repeatedly.

"And the last one is definitely Yohana, Ben. He is the most accepting of our tyranny." Mommy can not continue the story, even so I really know everything because we are one age and have grown together of course with very clear inequality. "Ben, you want to, right? Abah and Mommy do not know if they can return to God calmly if they have not received sincerity from them. We have been very tormented, Ben. Mother has repeatedly repented, but it feels like the heart is still not calm because of the three big odds. Please ask them for forgiveness, Ben. Mother is tired of the pain that mother suffered also your brother who is getting more and more horrible days."

Mother crying in my arms. I tried to calm the mother who said she was already very scared and tired of facing all this.

Such is life, sometimes, the recompense of our evil deeds God has avenged since in the world, but there are also those that God made easy for his life even though his entire life was full of sin until he was not aware of his mistakes.

"Ben will try, Bun." I said. Somehow, as a child with the condition of Abah and Mommy who have been like this, I really have to take part. Besides I don't want both of my parents to die with the hatred of others, at least I have to apologize, somehow.

Unfortunately I'm usually this cuckoo really have no idea to meet the people you say. It is impossible in the usual way to remember they were once hurt by your words and deeds. All I can do is search on Google. It's funny, but rather than doing nothing. In the past, when Johana was still around, it was she who taught me how to apologize. He who has a soft heart can always touch the hearts of others with his sincerity.

"Ahhh Han, where are you? I really miss you, Han. Everything's not okay and you're one of the three names you mentioned. Actually I'm pretty sure you'll forgive Abah and Mommy, just where are you now? I really want to meet!" I covered my face with both hands, crying again because I couldn't bear this feeling. I really suck, but there's nothing more I can do right now than wait for news from you from the news that I've been spreading to people about you that's gone missing.