Suddenly a Husband
About Children

The child problem continues. Yohana is like losing the spirit of life. He often daydreams, even to the point of dreaming. In fact, we should have relaxed. Sooner or later given the trust no one will find. Both of our parents are no longer there. The only brother I have is Ami who never really touched on this matter. Maybe he was unthinkable or did not want to interfere in the household affairs of his brother. Clearly, only our hearts were thinking.

At its peak, tonight he finally spoke to me again, after our conversation a few days ago. Yohana expressed her hope of having offspring. He feels lonely, he wants to have children to take care of, to be an entertainer and also an encouragement for his life.

"Darling, am I lacking?" My toot. "Can't I be an entertainer, do I really mean nothing to the point of being lonely? I always try to have time for you in the middle of my life. Twenty-four hours, there's always you. Even though I'm in the office, when I'm free I never forget to call you, by phone or by message. Is it less, baby?" My toot.

Yohana immediately bowed. "It's not so, honey. I'm ...." It's like confusion. I get that. Actually, not only does he want to have children, me too, but if we have both tried just not yet loved, then does it have to force ourselves? Make it difficult for yourself by constantly lamenting. Others even torture themselves. I don't like it when Yohana's like that. "Can't we try more?"

"How to? What more effort do you want? Han, we've done everything we can. But our time must be God-given. If you are not patient yet. What kind of business if it's not already won't be able to."

"We can go to the doctor. Program or anything to have children soon. I once read by accident, now that technology is very advanced, there are many ways to have offspring. Maybe we can try it." Johana took her HP on the sideboard. He submitted some articles that have been downloaded. It shows that this is not just a coincidence. He really is looking for her.

"Honey, this way is not cheap. We need a big and honest cost, I can't afford it right now. Will you be patient for a moment. We've been waiting a few years, maybe without having to follow all this we can have offspring." I tried to persuade him. Calm his heart that our married life will still be fine even though he has no children. Even I promise to be ready to be a shield if one day someone dares to disturb the calmness of his heart because of the matter of children.

"You really don't understand!" He looked upset, then lay back to me. Soon there was the sound of crying. Yohana crying. And it really broke me!

Although I actually wanted to talk, but was held back because of incompetence. That's why I let him cry until he went to sleep.

Han, I don't understand. I feel what you feel too. I miss having children too. Even I was very curious, as to what the face of our son would be. But now is not the time. We just have to step down.

***

"Everything seems fine. But it is best to test the lab only both to see if there is a problem or not. So we can figure out what the obstacles are and figure out a solution." Says Dr Asih, the doctor we chose.

To appease Yohana, plus so that tomorrow no need to go to the hospital again, I finally agreed also because my work was actually very crowded, so it was difficult to ask permission. If it is now a holiday it is better to note everything is finished today as well.

After going through all the tests, Yohana and I were asked to go home. We came back a week after I got my work permit. Yohana seemed impatient to hear the doctor's explanation.

"After a series of examinations, I concluded that the problem was with Yohana's mother, Asih's doctor said, showing our lab results. He describes in detail the condition of Johana. Where Yohana experienced permanent infertility. This is like lightning in broad daylight, especially when you know what causes it.

"Say everything, Han. No one's covered up." My love. When we were on the road. I deliberately pulled over to talk to her four eyes. If I have to get home, I'm afraid Ami will hear it. This is my family's problem, no one can interfere.

"Mother gave me those drugs. I didn't know it was a drug that would keep me from having children forever. Ben, after marrying bang Sigit, my mother forbade me to connect with her because my mother did not want to have another grandchild first. I have to take care of myself, mother says it's just an ordinary KB pill that doesn't have any effect. But it turns out that it is not a Pill, but a mother's cancer drug. I also don't know how dangerous the drug is. I'm just following your wishes because I believe in you, Ben." Yohana said while crying.

Astagfirullah, mother. Why would you do all that. Now it is not only Johana who is suffering, but me as well. We will never be able to have children. The drugs damaged the cells in Johana's womb so that she could never have offspring.

"Let'soooooooo!" I screamed as loud as I could, no matter if the passing vehicle saw us. All I know is that I'm really hurt. I lost my spirit of life. Yohana and I will never have children, but we crave only because of mother's actions. Though at that time Yohana had helped cover the disgrace of Sigit bang, at the expense of his dream at that time with me, but now this is the reality that we have to accept. This is the reply you give. A very painful reply.

"Ben, don't cry. Don't so. I can't see you like this." Pinta Yohana clasped my hand tightly.

"I don't know what to say. I'm ...." I can't speak anything. The body feels very weak. Hearts are so broken. "Han, you can go home by yourself, right?" I said. Yohana looked surprised. "I have a little business. You can go home by yourself, right? I'll get you a cab." I said. Then go to the side of the road to intercept an empty taxi passing by. I waited a few minutes for the taxi to arrive. I asked the driver to deliver Yohana. There's a lot Yohana wants to talk about, but I didn't give her a chance to talk. I just closed the door, then waved my hand. Let the taxi driver take him home.