Till The End Of Time [Inuyasha Fanfiction ]
Chapter 154's

Staring at the winter sky above, Bokuseno drank the tea that was in his hands. Sitting on the veranda of the room reserved for her, she did not say anything even though Inukimi and Kenji were also at the side.

"You live the longest, but you don't have the slightest clue, Bokuseno?" asked Kenji who had been silent all of a sudden.

Bokuseno remained silent not answering Kenji's question. He simply returned to drinking the tea in his hands quietly. Then, when he finished, he lowered his gaze from above the sky on the snowfields ahead. "All living things have different times and destinies."

Kenji who heard Bokuseno speech fell silent. He understood the meaning of the saying, that is; there was no way. But, he couldn't accept it. Sighing slowly, he then turned his head to look at Inukimi who from earlier was also silent.

Inukimi's face was very calm as if nothing had happened. His two brilliant golden eyes stared at the snowfields ahead. "The winter is coming to an end." he said then slowly.

Winter is about to enter its end. Soon, spring is coming. But, Inukimi did not know anymore, if when that spring arrived, the western land palace would still feel spring like before?

"No one can go against his destiny, Inukimi-sama," continued Bokuseno quietly. Slowly, he turned his gaze to the former lord of the western lands who was staring at the sky. "Everybody who lives will die in time. You know that well, don't you?"

Inukimi lowered her gaze and returned Bokuseno's gaze. A smile filled his face. "Yes, I know. It's just that I didn't expect it to be this fast.."

Bokuseno did not reply to see a smile on the face of the inuyoukai are always calm and strange, as well as Kenji. The monkey youkai knew clearly what the conversation meant just now.

"Weight, but that's the reality" Bokuseno said later. "Born and dead—the cycle of life that is inevitable by all living things."

Inukimi chuckled at Bokuseno's words. However, his laughter was full of sadness, as well as his pair of golden eyes. "Miracles have happened twice. Conjugating miracles that continue to create new wonders. But unfortunately, the miracle will not happen again for the third time..."

....xoxOx....

Rin sat alone on the futon staring out through the open window. Slowly his eyes fell on Shura who was asleep with her right hand tightly grasping her black hair. A small smile filled his pale frail face looking at the smile full of satisfaction on the little face of his beloved son.

Rin has no idea what happened when Inuyasha brought Shura to play with Shiro, Mamoru and the others. But seeing her son growling with anger at Inuyasha as well as the clawed face on his face when he returned to the room, as a mother she felt like the meeting was not going well.

Shura also again becomes increasingly sticky on Rin once she returns from there. He did not want to leave his mother in the slightest and continued to grip the black hair tightly.

"Shura, my son from the west," Rin called slowly as if in a whisper. Both of her eyes looked gently at Shura's petite smile with eyes full of affection. "You have to learn to be independent and not always look for a mother, son. I-the mother cannot always accompany you forever...."

There was no reply, and Shura was still fast asleep. Being beside her mother, for the little inuyoukai it was always the most comfortable place for her to sleep. The smell was soothing and loved from the moment she was born.

"But know, your mother's love for you is forever...."

A sincere and great love without comparison. How much she loves her son, Rin really hopes Shura will find out later. A love that will never change no matter what happens, a love that will also be eternal even though he is gone.

"Mother will always love you, Shura," Rin continued. A drop of tears flowed down, but the smile on his face remained. "Forever and always..."

Rin knew, she would not be able to see her beloved son mature. But, it's okay, with the rest of the time, she hopes to make her son's life safe and peaceful.

"Rin-chan," Kagome's slow voice rang out and made Rin immediately turn her face to the source of the voice. "Why are you sitting like that?"

Walking quickly through the shoji door of the room that was open, Kagome immediately closed it and approached Rin. Both of his hands quickly helped and also used his body to hold the sitting position of the human woman.

"You'd better lie down, Rin-chan," said Kagome quietly. A small smile spread across his face. He ignored the remaining tears on the human woman's face, because he knew, this was the best. Because, Rin certainly does not want anyone to realize he is crying strong—Rin and also; stupid. "You still need enough rest."

Rin laughed softly at Kagome's words. "Rin's been sleeping too long Kagome-sama."

"Yes, it's okay," Kagome replied with a small laugh. "I think you should look up to Shura who can sleep every day by her mother's side."

Rin laughed again at Kagome's reply. Slowly, his eyes returned to Shura who was not disturbed in the slightest in his dreams. In fact, he could see the smile on his son's face growing wider hearing the mother's laughter.

"Rin doesn't know anymore, Shura it actually looks like who," Rin's brown eyes that look at Shura are getting softer and more affectionate and loving. "This attitude of Shura does not resemble Sesshoumaru-sama or Rin."

"Ah," interrupted Kagome quickly. "He looks like a big brother, Rin-chan. His attitude and nature it was all really ciplakkan Brother. Just to you he's like this—basas a spoiled child."

Once again, Rin laughed softly at Kagome's words. If the attitude and nature of his son really resembled Sesshoumaru, then how calm he was. His son will grow strong and sturdy like his father, there will be nothing that will subvert him in the future. It was fine if he could not see, at least he knew his son would be safe for good.

"Nee, Kagome-sama," called Rin then and turned his head slowly to look at Kagome. "Have you taken 'it' from Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Oh, sure," exclaimed Kagome quickly. From behind his kimono, he immediately pulled out a black box. Opening it up, he directed it right in front of Rin. "This is Rin-chan; fushi no kusuri."

Rin she silently stared at the fushi no kusuri that was now right in front of her, something that became a hope for her and those who loved her just a moment ago, though in the end, it was, hope is so completely destroyed.

Kagome said nothing as she watched Rin stare at fushi no kusurai in silence. He had no idea why the human woman had asked him to take the thing from Sesshoumaru—and Sesshoumaru's face while giving her fushi no kusuri; the future miko could not explain it. What the hell is going on?

Rin continued to stare fixedly at fushi no kursi, and she really felt—ing to laugh. Looking at his broken hope, how painful and painful. Though he thought, with the decisions he had made as well as the choices he had chosen, he would not feel this all over again. But, it turned out that he was wrong; all this still felt.

He is helpless. Even though he doesn't want to and doesn't want it—Rin knows he doesn't have a choice anymore. All he can do now is straighten out everything that is wrong and do what he should, for the sake of those he loves, for the sake of those who will still be alive even though he is not.

Meido seki in Rin's heart beat strongly, as did the soft light that shone. However, the light was not strong enough to thicken the Kagome as usual, the light was like a shell that moved slowly and wrapped the tiny body of the human woman.

"Rin-chan!!" call Kagome surprised. However, just as he felt that hint of soft light, he instantly fell silent. This light is different, he will not hurt anyone, the future miko knows it for sure, and moreover, in that light, he can feel one extraordinary emotion, namely; sadness.

Rin closed her eyes feeling the light that was enveloping her. Ah, a gentle smile filled her face, in the distance she could see a very beautiful sight.

In a warm and pleasant spring, under a tree of sakura, a small inuyoukai and inuyoukai laughed loosely, sitting with a smiling human woman. They look so happy, so harmonious and envious of all that there is a simple little family.

'Together forever and always'

A word that is always spoken, a hope so simple and a beautiful dream so intoxicating. But dreams are dreams. When you wake up, you'll know, it's all a joke in life.

Tears flowed down from Rin's face, and along with that, the light raised and blew away the tears. Flying slowly, the tears then fell right on top of the fushi no kusurkan that was in sight.

Fushi no kusuri suddenly shone brilliantly, making Kagome very surprised. Then, when the light was dim, fushi no kusuri which was white like pearls has now been transformed into a pitch black—fushi no kusuri which has been perfect.

The light that enveloped Rin also slowly disappeared, as well as the seki meido that returned to calm as usual. Opening his eyes, with a warm smile on his face, the western earth kisaki turned his face back to stare at Kagome who was stunned and speechless a thousand languages. "Kagome-sama," call Rin slowly. "Fushi no kursi who has perfect—for you..."

Kagome's eyes widened in disbelief at hearing Rin's unexpected remark, leaving her with no idea what to do.

"Fushi no kusuri is useless to Rin, but, she is useful to you, Kagome-sama." continued Rin quietly with a smile on her face that never disappeared. "Live with Inuyasha-sama and Shiro for a very, very long time..."

"Rin-chan..."

"You're saying your family's in the future, aren't you?" rinn asked and laughed. "You can meet and gather with them again one day, Kagome-sama."

"Rin-chan.." call Kagome again, but Rin just returns smiling as if not hearing it.

"Fushi no kusurah was created by Izayoi-sama. I think rather than Rin, you who are the wife of Izayoi-sam's son are more deserving of it."

"Stop! Rin-chan!!" kagome shouted and tightly hugged the tiny body from behind. He did not want to hear Rin's words anymore, because he could not imagine with what feeling the woman said.

"Live happily with others in place of Rin.." said softly and softly, Rin closed her brown eyes which now shed tears.

Kagome shook her head and hugged Rin tighter. "Don't say anything weird. You'll live! You will live with Brother and Shura—you will be happy!!!"

Tears flowed down through Kagome's eyes. He felt scared and also agitated at the same time. Where did the always optimistic and smiling Rin go? Where did Rin go who always struggled to live and wanted to be happy with her little family?— hurt so much when you saw the person you loved saying she would disappear in the future when you could still touch her.

Still hugged by Kagome, Rin opened her eyes which still continued to shed tears and smiled. "First death, Rin turned on Sesshoumaru-sama. The second death, Rin was turned on by Mother, therefore, the third death was the real death of Rin. Rin can't cheat death anymore."

'Rin'

'Ahhh..Ah..'

He can't dream anymore. Her dream is really over, now she has to face reality—but...

"But Rin wants to stay. Rin knows it's selfish, Rin doesn't want to leave Sesshoumaru-sama and Shura.."

Giving the perfect fushi no kusuri to Kagome, Rin knew, it was true. But, deep down, she–iri. Why not him? Why can he perfect fushi no kursi but can't use it? Giving up his life expectancy on others, he was very sad, very angry, very, very unwilling. Because he is an ordinary man. That feeling was so out of control, but he had to endure it all out because he knew it was wrong. Feelings that eventually turn into feelings; guilt.

That is the deepest part of his heart. Even though he had made a choice and knew what was best. Until the end, he could not abandon his selfishness that started all this. A sad face in the eyes of all he loved, their worries at looking at him as well as their helplessness.

"You can be selfish!! You can be selfish for wanting to be with them always Rin-chan!!" Sela Kagome is strong. Staring into Rin's eyes who looked back at him, the future miko tried hard to convince the tiny woman that the future was there. "We'll all be happy together forever!!"

Everything that could be given to him. Rin knew, even if he wanted stars and moons, Sesshoumaru and the others might be able to give it away. Yet this is only one, only being together forever that cannot be given to her. Don't give him false hope anymore. Don't say everything that's impossible is possible again. He had learned to accept that painful reality even if he did not want to, he had prepared himself to face such a future. Because of that—don't make this pain even more painful.

"Ahh-ba-ba!!" a soft voice sounded beside her, and as Rin turned her head to the side she saw Shura who had no idea since when she woke up had now crawled to her feet.

Both of Shura's golden eyes were fixedly staring at him. Worryingly. It was clear that the little inuyoukai was aware of the sadness and tears of the biological mother who was his little world. "Ahhh-baa-ba..."

A cruel world, a painful destiny. Life is never going to be what you expect. There may be times when your life goes the way you want it to, but, one blink of an eye, everything can change.

Dead and revived, meet Sesshoumaru and love him, love Sesshoumaru and possess Shura. Familiarity for the magic of her life, so beautiful and convincing if told, the life story of a human woman named; Rin. But every story has an end, and this is the end of his story—death; farewell.

Closing her eyes from not being able to look at Shura's worried face again, Rin yelled out all the pain in her heart. His tears, his tears, his sadness and his despair. "Ahhhhh...Uhh..."

Forgive Rin for surprising you, Shura. Forgive this useless mother, forgive the mother who can not comfort you anymore, forgive the mother who will leave you, forgive the mother who can not choose to live with you.

"Ohhhh!!! Ahhhhh!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!" getting louder and louder, with endless tears, Rin cries a second time in front of Shura apologizing. "Sorry!! I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!! Forgive Rin!! Forgive Rin!!!!"

Shura who heard Rin's crying screams also cried loudly. His hands clenched tightly into his mother's kimono, his two frightened eyes not sidetracked from the tears flowing down the face of the woman he loved. "Ohhh!! Ahhhh!!"

Kagome who saw Rin and Shura's crying did not know what to do, hugging steadily the weaker the tiny woman's body, she could only try hard to calm down. "Rin-chan, relax. You scared Shura, she cried when you also cried Rin-chan!"

Then, in his confusion and fear, Kagome heard the sound of shoji doors opening. His eyes could see clearly Sesshoumaru who walked in with a flat face expressionless and Inuyasha who was standing pecking with wide eyes looking at him and Rin.

Approaching Rin who was still shouting crying out in pain. Sesshoumaru immediately grabbed Shura and let the little inuyoukai calm down and hugged her biological mother tightly. Not wasting any time, he also immediately embraced the tiny body carefully due to the existence of their son who was in the middle.

"You can be selfish. This Sesshoumaru allows you to be selfish." Sesshoumaru slowly whispered.

The warmth of Sesshoumaru and Shura, as well as the quiet whispers, made Rin open her eyes. A second later, however, he closed it. His selfishness—ya, until the end, Sesshoumaru and the others will allow. It's just; he can't.

When you suffer, there are three choices, one; cry, two; laugh and third; cry and laugh together. But the third option is that you only do it when you feel unbearable suffering. Crying with sadness, and laughing because ironically—Rin can't stop himself anymore.

"Hahaha," laughing in tears that did not stop, Rin could only continue laughing in her painful cries. "Hahahahahahahah!!"

Which is right and which is wrong? Which should be and which should not be? Mentally Rin destroyed—he wasn't strong enough to deal with all this. He wanted to blame, but he didn't know what to blame. He wanted to rebel and fight back, but he was helpless. What was most torturous in this world to him, Rin knew now; when you desperately wanted to do something but couldn't.

Moving her right hand wiping away the tears and calming Rin, Sesshoumaru looked at the face of the woman he loved. "See this Sesshoumaru, Rin."

Staring at Sesshoumaru, Rin then silently silently said nothing with her face full of sadness.

All Rin and Kagome sayings, Sesshoumaru heard them all. He was already standing in front of shoji's door with Inuyasha when the future miko entered it. However, he did not have the courage to enter, because what he feared the most had become a reality, namely; it was Rin who would rather die than live.

How did Sesshoumaru allow it? How important Rin was to him, that woman was his world—Sesshoumaru couldn't lose her.

"Shura needs you, this Sesshoumaru needs you," continued Sesshoumaru calmly with his golden eyes full of honesty. "Because of that—promise both of us that you won't leave us."

Promise never to leave her, promise to always be by her side. Smile and laugh for her, sing and dance for her, hug and kiss her, in every changing season and time that will run—promise to be forever with her.

Rin was stunned by Sesshoumaru's words. For a moment he smiled, yet he did not say anything—he did not dare to promise anymore. Promises are made to be kept. Therefore, how could he possibly promise something that he would not be able to keep?

"Rin," call Sesshoumaru again seeing a smile full of sadness on Rin's face. "Please promise, promise Sesshoumaru this—promise this Sesshoumaru that you will not leave him!!!"

Sesshoumaru's voice rose, full of anger and disbelief. All mixed up, how could Rin choose to die? Nah! he won't allow it!! Rin will always be with him!!

The golden eyes turned blackish-red, the fingers touching Rin's face elongated and tapered, as well as her face that almost returned to its original figure. "You will never leave this Sesshoumaru, Rin. Do you remember this Sesshoumaru oath first? This Sesshoumaru will destroy the world if you disappear—that's still true."

Rin's eyes staring at Sesshoumaru remained unchanged, and as usual, there was no fear. For, whatever the form, for Rin, Sesshoumaru is Sesshoumaru.

"This is an order..."

Close the eyes that still drain water down the cheeks. Rin asked, how could he turn this inuyoukai into this? How guilty he felt about it. An increasingly soluble and continuing error. The figure he loved more than anything else, Rin asked once again; why is the world so cruel to him? Not only did it destroy his soul and body, life also tormented his entire feeling. Crushing it and throwing it into thousands of tiny pieces was no longer arranged.

Piling up all the guilt, enduring all the pain, Rin opened her eyes and smiled. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin is not going anywhere. Rin will stay, as long as you command.."

Rin can't stay, but she can't leave either. Alive but want to die, dead but can't—which is right? where is it wrong? everything was blurred out to be invisible. Ah, when will this end? When will all the mistakes be right again?

Sesshoumaru calmed down and heard Rin's words. Instantly, he returned to his usual figure, his blackish-red eyes returning to gold. A small smile rose on his cheek. Immersing Rin's face on her chest, she closes her eyes and inhales the smell she loves. "Yes, great. You must always keep Sosshoumaru's orders."

Kagome who saw what happened did not move. He didn't know what to fear, stunned or what. However, immediately Sesshoumaru's closed eyes suddenly opened and pointed sharply at him.

"Get out.." Sesshoumaru's Order. His voice was slow and very low, full of emphasis and also abnormal.

Kagome immediately stood up and ran out. Passing through the bewildered Inuyasha, he ran with all his might down the empty corridor of the east pavilion of the western land palace aimlessly.

"Kagome! Stop!!" yelled Inuyasha who was running after Kagome. However, before he could reach his wife, the future miko suddenly stopped.

Inuyasha also stopped seeing Kagome. Standing not far behind him, the inuanyou did not know what to do. "K-agome..."

Kagome did not answer. Without saying anything, he then crouched down and cried loudly. Clasping tightly onto his chest, he closed his eyes and cried nonstop.

Rin's feelings when giving up fushi no kursi to him. Why is Rin smiling and giving something so expected of her? Yep! He also expects to live forever with Inuyasha and Shiro, but how can he be happy if it is to sacrifice Rin? Rin's destruction, sadness, helplessness and screams of pain that exist—he can only see from the side without being able to do anything. Letting such a gentle human woman face the cruelty of fate.

A cruel world, a world of no mercy. The woman who deserves the happiest in the world but cannot be happy, the woman who expects the most to live and be with her small family will never be granted.

Inuyasha closed his eyes and raised his head upwards. Unable to hold back, tears flowed. He did not have the strength to step forward to calm Kagome down, as he was unable to do so now.

'Live with Inuyasha-sama and Shiro for a very, very long time.'

Rin's words that he heard from behind the closed door of the room, Inuyasha could only peek. Kagome's long life, along with her and Shiro—it will come true. But, what about the lives of Rin, Sesshoumaru and Shura? Letting them face the horrors of death and the terrifying farewell - how could he do that?

Rin has done so much for her, Inuyasha remembers it all. From the birth of Shiro to being the bridge of his relationship with Sesshoumaru, and now, that human woman will also give Kagome the long life she so longed for? How much he owes Rin, and also how much; useless he is. Because he can't do anything for that human woman.

Powerlessness, incompetence, regret, guilt—all combine into one attacking Inuyasha's heart. Raising a hand down his head, the innuanyou could only loudly shout filled the empty corridors of the western earth palace pavilion. "Damn it!! Goddamnit!! Damn it!!!!!!"

The sound of Inuyasha's cry echoed filled the eastern pavilion of the western land palace, and inside their room, Sesshoumaru who was hugging Rin with Shura in the middle of them could hear it, but, he paid no heed.

Lowering her gaze, she looked at Shura who had returned to sleep quietly hugging her biological mother. Then, slowly, his gaze rose on Rin's face which had now also fallen asleep quietly. Closing her eyes, she gently lowered her face kissing the lips of the human woman she loved.

Rin is still there and she will not disappear from her life. No matter how, Sesshoumaru would continue to force the existence of the woman so important to him to remain in his world. Today will be no different from yesterday, nor tomorrow. They will always be together, will inseparable—him, Rin and Shura.

"Well together...."

Then that day, without anyone realizing it, slowly for the first time and forever, the meido seki attached to Rin's chest and beating like a heart in rhythm with Sesshoumaru's heart stopped beating. It tells of Rin's heart beating very slowly.

....xoxOx....