I'm Not Daria
Suspicious

The next morning, I had set my priorities.would avoid Devan as much as possible because it seemed like he would not attempt to kill any feelings between us. I will be friends with Mario but will be restricted because of my suspicions about him and if that's true, I don't want to take him.

I will concentrate on my studies, exercising and eating healthily. It was just to fill my day so that if I busied myself, I wouldn't have to worry about any unwanted interactions with any of the two men in my life right now.

And I will spend time with the people around, because I don't know how much time I have between them. Just like the day I was kidnapped, too, there will be a day where my world will be completely turned upside down again and I don't want to regret not knowing great people that not everyone has the chance to know. I will make the most of it without complicating matters with certain people.

.....

The next day, when he saw Mario, he was very happy when he had seen my gift first and put on the watch I gave him. He also told me that he liked it.

We're still meeting for my cooking lessons, I think it's necessary and harmless.

...

Time passed by quickly, almost every day I was busy with my college assignments and projects. It was the beginning of a new semester and I had already begun to find difficulties in my studies. In college, I could easily clarify with the professors, and although here I could still get an explanation from the professors through electronic means, it was not the same.

Books for the new semester are supplied by Luna who delivers them to the mansion in boxes labeled dresses and makeup as a gift from her just in case anyone doubts the mysterious packages.

.....

The days passed faster than ever. I began to feel lonely, realizing the fact that Anna and I had separated

This was confirmed when she and Luna discussed something in secret while coming out of her room, one week after a small party was held. It is strange considering Anna does not like Luna too much because she thinks Luna is a little cold and unfriendly.

"Hi, what's wrong with you two?" much

Their faces looked worried. "There's nothing. What are you doing here?" Ask Anna.

He's acting suspicious

"I'm actually on my way to visit Gio. It has been a long time since I met him. I took the exam so it's been almost two months. But then I saw you two and you guys talking about something and I thought I'd ask you what it was about."

"It's nothing. We only chatted a little about Anna's future plans and what she wanted and things like that". Luna answered this time.

He was talking as usual, so I wasn't sure if he was lying or not. Then again, he's a good liar. He could lie about the biggest things with a straight face and look me straight in the eye while doing so so that I had no choice but to believe him

"okay"

If it wasn't for Anna's anxious gaze, I would have believed her. That's how to know that something is wrong and only Luna and Anna know about it and don't want to tell me

"Gio!" I screeched as I saw her with her horses, ran towards her and pulled her into the arms

Yeah, Gio likes horses and he's pretty good at riding them, or at least that's what he told me. I remembered his conversation with Devan on the first day I met him and how he beat him in a horse race.

"Daria, hey," he said, sounding happy to see me

"What have you been doing lately? Why haven't you been visiting me for the past month or two?"

"I'm just busy with work." He shrugged his shoulders

"I feel like I've heard that phrase too often in the past month." I groaned, remembering all the time Devan said the same thing to me

"What?"

"Nothing, so you have time to ride but don't meet me?" accuses.

"Hey, horses were my first love. I'll never leave them to anyone, sorry"

"And Anna is your second love?"

"No. The girl I was with, who was only with me for money. That girl is my second love."

"So Anna is the third?"

"First," he whispered and barely sounded.

This surprised me because I didn't expect him to forget so soon.

"Why? Don't you like it now? Is there something going on between the two of you?"

"Wait, what happened between you two?"

"I don't want to answer." He said, turning away from me to another horse.

"That's not fair.I felt Anna kept a secret from me and now you too. Don't you guys trust me?" whinek.

"It's not like that. Let's just say we're both as confused as what's going on between us, just like you."

"What does that mean?"

"Did you come here to argue with me about something that's not even your business?"

I'm pouting. "Someday I'll find out."

"Okay, you nosy parking guy. Now do you want to ride a horse?"

"No, if they're just gonna make me fall. These horses were very beautiful," Bella said as she stroked a dark horse among the dozen horses Gio had.

"Did Bella know how to ride her?"

"Of course I know." Bella said as she appeared with Devan behind her

"What are you doing here?" I didn't ask anyone in particular except Devan and knew that the question was mainly addressed to him

"What do you think?" He replied with a smile.

"I'm here to ride horses, and show everyone how great I am at it. Devan, I don't know. He suddenly appeared unexpectedly". Bella narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

Gio groaned from behind me, "More great people." He grumbled

"So let's go on a horse. Maybe we could go for a little race, huh?" Bella asked, already walking towards a brown horse. "This is Amy, my horse." Bella told me while stroking her nose.

"She's so pretty" I said.

"So on the way here, I heard you didn't know how to ride a horse." Devan offers

"Thank you, but I'm fine. I don't want to ride it." I decided

To be honest, I wanted to learn a little bit about horseback riding but I didn't want to because Devan, I don't know why he talked to me. We've already decided not to interact with each other. Did he not understand all the signals I gave him?

There was a bench next to the stables that I headed to as Bella and Gio rode their horses. I saw Devan go somewhere, making me relieved to not want to be around him.

For a week, I realized my unrelenting need to meet her, even from a distance.

It's escalating every time I don't see him for more than six hours. Not communicating with her for seven days only made me want to talk to her. For these seven days, I almost never met Devan and it pissed me off because just seeing him today makes my heart happy

I used to say to myself, I must master my feelings, I must not allow anything to happen between us. However, the bad news is, my endurance is getting weaker by the day and I can't do anything about it. I know I was wrong. This has to stop. But it feels like it's out of control.

I could feel my self-control weakening. And afraid that he would express his feelings for me. I'll give up on him. I hate feeling so weak

I didn't realize I was staring at him from a distance and sank into my mind until my fingers snapped in front of me.

I noticed Devan with two cans of soda. He sat down next to me and put the can in my hand.

"Thank you," I said, rising up to go somewhere else because I don't know how much distance to put between us to be safe.

"Let's stay here, please." He said in a soft voice and could barely catch his words.

"I need to see if Bella needs anything" I replied. That's a stupid excuse but I don't know what to say

He sighed. "We both know that's an excuse. I don't want much, just want to sit next to you for a few minutes. Please." please."

I feel the conflict. The brain told me to leave without glancing at him again and my heart said otherwise.

Within seconds, I made a decision.