I'm Not Daria
Devan's honesty

We didn't sit too close, but we were close enough to feel the warmth of each other's presence.

Silence has been shrouding us ever since I sat next to her. From the corner of my eye, I saw him smiling as he downed the soda. It made me smile, thinking that she was smiling because I chose to sit with her, but then dismissed that thought, probably because she liked her sodas.

We sat there drinking quietly, there was no annoying gulp from either of us to break the awkward silence, at least it was awkward for me. On the other hand, Devan does not seem to mind the lack of conversation between us

I glanced at him from time to time because unknowingly it had become a habit.

"Do you know why I hated you so many years ago?" He asked, letting me off guard because it was the last thing I thought he would ask or say.

It took me a while to gather my thoughts and remember his history with Daria.

"Of course, it's because I'm a spoiled child."

He shook his head. "No, not because of that. That's just a fraction of the reason."

This interests me. "So why do you hate me so much?"

"That's because you're so lively and vibrant and. You're not afraid of anything. You will do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences. You make friends easily. You usually have a large group of friends around you all the time. At first I thought you only had fake friends, but apparently no, you have real friends who care about you. And it makes me jealous. Because as you already know, I was the quietest kid in class. No matter how much I try, I can't talk to someone as easily as you do. I always thought I was just going to interrupt the person I was talking to. So I usually avoid interacting with anyone. But my parents were friends with your parents, so I had to talk to you." He looked me in the eye.

"I hate it because everything comes so easily to you - making friends, having fun. I've never experienced anything like that and it makes me think that I'm a boring person. So I started hating you. And it eventually turns into hate."

Devan's words made me realize how much I have a close relationship with him. I was also a quiet kid in my class at home. I also find it difficult to make friends and usually be alone.

"So I made it seem as if the person I was talking to was the one who pissed me off, so they wouldn't do that to me. I pretended to be arrogant to make me look unapproachable so I didn't need to be in a situation where I was worried whether that person thought well of me or not"

"Gio is the only friend I got without pretending. I can be the real me around her. Of course, friendship with him did not happen easily. We started with a fight. It was big enough that we both had to go to the hospital to get stitches. And then after a few days of seeing her being beaten up by a group of kids because she stole their candy, so I went to help her to prove that I was very strong." Devan laughed a little. "Stupid move. In the end, we were both beaten up, but that started our friendship"

"Wow" I said after a while. "Your little story made me see you in a new light."

"I hope for a good point of view"

"Yes, in a good perspective." I agreed and sipped a drink.

We turned around to see Gio and Bella racing.

We were done with our soda drink by then and two cans were put between us.

As I repeated what she said in my head, I inevitably felt troubled by the fact that she saw me as Daria. The arrogant brat he once hated. It made me wonder if she. Yeah, that's where I said it. He might like me, or Daria.

That's disconcerting. Does he like Darla or Daria? That I never thought of before. All I thought about was that we shouldn't like each other because she was dating Luna and therefore my secret could be exposed.

I never thought like this that every time Devan looked at me, for him he was staring at Daria. He started liking a girl he thought he knew but in reality, he didn't know me at all. Without me in this situation, I would just be a poor girl she didn't know.

This realization made me so sad all of a sudden, I don't want to be here anymore.

"Are you okay?" Devan blinked in surprise.

"Yes, I just want to go home now. See you later."

"Wait, I'll go with you."

"No, it's okay."

He held my hand. "Save gasoline, come on."

I want to be alone with my thoughts and solve the mess. But Devan was more adamant about saving gas, so I had to go with him.

We say goodbye to Gio and Bella, as they still continue to ride horses, this time with different horses.

...

The journey by car was quiet. He must have known that something was on my mind. I don't want to show it, but how else.

As soon as Devan parked the car in the underground parking lot, I unlocked the car door without saying goodbye.

Just as I was about to leave, Devan walked quickly towards me. I stopped seeing him walking so fast towards me

When she reached before me, she gently hugged me.

It was so unexpected that it took me a few seconds to realize that one arm was wrapped around my shoulder and the other arm was caressing the back of my head with my head leaning against his chest.

After that realization dawned on me, I immediately began to push her away but she held on tightly. "Devan, what are you doing?"

"Shhh. You look upset about something and I don't know what it is, but you can use me to hug it so you feel better".

I still resist weakly

"It won't mean anything if you don't want it. Just relax and breathe."

We stood there for a few minutes in the darkness with only him holding me. My hand was by my side and clenched it so as not to circle her, trying to strengthen my heart even though I knew it would not last long

I was the first to pull away, not looking at him and could feel his eyes on me. He kissed my forehead.

"You should sleep, good night. Do you want me to take you to your room?"

I shook my head, turned around and left.