I'm Not Daria
Against Luna

The first thing I realized when I woke up was that the bed moved and looked up to see that Devan had woken up, hurriedly got out of bed and put on his watch and shoes.

"Devan," I said and he must have been surprised because his eyes were wide

"I'm sorry, Daria, I don't know why I always do this. I didn't do it on purpose, just always found myself here in the morning. I can't help it. I can't sleep but drink but then I always end up here. I know you said you liked Raka".

"Devan, it's okay, don't mind. I want to say something"

"Yes! I know what it is. I should have kept my distance and promised you that I would like you from afar, so I'd make sure that I wouldn't knock on your door drunk again."

He immediately got up and picked up his belongings before rushing towards the door.

"No, it's not that. Listen to me, wait!"

But he was already outside the door.

I groan on the pillow. I have to tell him. As soon as possible. But before that I have to tell Luna that I won't stay away from Devan anymore. I don't know how he reacted. It's gonna be risky for me.

I changed clothes and ate breakfast in a hurry. I wanted to talk to Devan at breakfast, but I thought that talking to Luna about us was the best thing before I made up my mind.

....

I ordered a driver and told him to take me to Luna's house. We soon arrived and told the waiter that we wanted to talk to Luna immediately

Fortunately, she was not busy and she drove me to her room before closing the door to get some privacy.

"So what made you come so early?" He asked while drying his hair. Apparently he just finished a shower.

"I need to talk about Devan. I don't want to do this anymore." I shouted over the loud noise of the hairdryer.

She turned it off and put it on her dresser

"What did you say?"

I gathered the courage to repeat my words

"I don't want to do this. don't want to get away from him. I like him and he likes me and we've fallen too deep. We can't go back now."

"I wish you'd be stronger to endure all this".

"I feel like what you want me to do is what makes me weak" I whispered quietly enough that he wouldn't hear it

"What was that?"

"Nothing, I just want you to know that I'm not a mad Woman of treasure. I really like it and can't get away from it. Don't want to."

"Look, I know feelings can't be controlled but think rationally. What will you two do in the future? How's this gonna work? Are you going to marry him? Have kids? What are you gonna do when he finds out who you really are? Are you sure he likes you? Because in her eyes, you're Daria, the girl she hated when they were kids, but now she's starting to like her. In fact, he likes strangers. He didn't even know the name of this stranger. So, she actually likes a girl who's a combination of you and Daria, but she never was. This is the image you've created in his head. You two will be headed for the inevitable heartbreak, unless he succeeds in forgiving you for deceiving him and playing with his emotions."

I shook my head. "I don't know the answers to all these questions and don't know what will happen in the future. All I know is that I'm not playing around with his emotions.I probably won't hit him but my feelings for him are real.even if things might go wrong in the future, I still want to continue this relationship because right now it feels right and I don't want to be held back by my fear"

Luna took a breath. "I hate doing this but I think maybe I should blackmail you if you're with Devan."

"Luna, please. Why are you doing this?"

"I'm sorry, Darla. I'm just trying to protect my family."

"Devan is not a child. We're all grown up. Being hurt is part of life. You can't keep him from getting hurt all the time. I will try my best not to hurt him. Please, let me be with him."

Luna seemed to think about what she said. "Are you still going to be with her even though I told you that I told everyone your secret?"

I gave him a firm nod without hesitation. "Life here turned to hell. What else is lacking? So yeah, I'm gonna keep chasing him. But I hope you can let me be with him and support us."

He didn't answer me. It seemed like he was looking far ahead, even when his eyes were on me. Her eyes were teary and I would not believe that it had made her almost cry if she did not blink her eyes angrily before letting out a small, humorous laugh. "You are very brave. It embarrassed me for myself."

"What does that mean?"

He shook his head and forced a smile on his lips. "It's nothing, me-a-I" she seemed at a loss for words, puzzling me. "Um is fine. You can be with Devan-"

"But" he implies. "But you have to tell Devan the truth. That's the least you can do to ease the pain of both of you. You owe her complete honesty".

My face bowed to hear it. afraid and unsure of doing so. not confident enough to say that he would still accept me. No, no. I want to tell him

"One month. Please let me be with him for one month and promise to tell the truth on the same date but the next month"

He looks confused. "Darla, I don't think that's a good idea."

"please". Ihold his hand. Please give me that long. I want to prove my true feelings to him and then I'll slowly persuade him."

He looked hesitant but I could already see him giving up. "alright. Just one month you got. If you don't tell me the truth on this date next month, then I'll do it and believe me, it won't go well."

I'm nodding. "I understand keeping my word and thank you for allowing me to like him and be with him."

"Together...?"

There was a long pause where we both stopped to think about the conversation,

"You can go. I have something to do." Luna finally said and jumped to her feet

"All right then, see you"

I was so happy to leave that tense atmosphere

As soon as I got outside, I felt much lighter and my lips lifted with a real smile. I'm very happy. I just want to see him and his handsome face and maybe kiss him.

I don't want to bother him in his work but I can't wait to see him. I could wait until dinner but she probably won't show up as usual and then come home late and drunk. No, I can't let him drink too much for one more day.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was past the usual lunch hour. If you rush home now you might be able to catch him.

I immediately told the driver to queue up to the house and once it arrived. I opened the door even before the car actually stopped and

I rushed inside.

I saw Amara cleaning the dining table and asked her whereabouts. Fortunately, he was going to his room to retrieve some of the files he needed for the meeting.

As soon as I got to her doorstep, I took a moment to calm myself down and slow down my heartbeat.

Just then the door swung open and I saw him with the files in his hand and wearing a neat suit. He was surprised to see me in front of him.

"Hi" I said

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you."

"About what?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but I thought saying it through action would be more impactful.

So I took a step forward and wrapped my hand tightly around her waist and leaned my head on her beating heart. I heard him breathe and be quiet for a few seconds.

He put his other hand which did not hold his files on my shoulder.

"Daria, what's wrong? Are you all right?"

I did not answer and he dropped his files on the floor and gently pushed my shoulder to check my face. "Are you hurt somewhere?"

I shook my head. "No. But I'm sorry for hurting you all this time. I-I don't know how to explain this to you without sounding like a player, but I want you to know that what I'm doing is best for both of us."

"What do you want to say?" He asked, his face filled with confusion. "Come here, sit down." He led me to his bed and told me to sit on it before he sat beside me. "Now say clearly what you mean by that."

"What I want to say is I like you. I like you too, Devan."

I touched her cheek with my palm. "And I'm sorry for acting like I don't like you. I'm sorry for being mean to you and ignoring your feelings for me so heartlessly, I'm sorry for being rude to you when you were just a nice guy to me all along. Will you forgive me for all the wrongs I have done to you?"