I'm Not Daria
Get far

It was lunchtime and I was sitting on the couch. Devan will be home for lunch at any time. I'm afraid of what I'm going to do.

I don't really want to do it this way, but the only way Devan can be sure is if he sees it himself.

When he came in, I got into action. I grabbed Raka's hand and laughed at what she said.

I called him right after Devan left and we decided to go for lunch. He was going to pick me up, but I told him to wait a little while so Devan could see me with him. Of course I didn't tell you why.

"We have to go now. I'm hungry." said Raka and I agreed.

We started moving out but met Devan halfway through.

He looked surprised when he saw my arm that was wrapped around Raka's arm,

"What's going on here?" She asked. "What are you doing here?" He turned his head towards Raka and spat it out with acid.

"We're going on a date." Raka said arrogantly.I opened my mouth to budge but I thought it was better not to. I didn't necessarily tell her that this was a date but Raka

looks like the kind of guy who reads too much.

"What?" Devan scoffs. "What makes you think Daria wants to go? Don't you remember the last time she turned you down for a date?"

"It's just a little feud that sometimes happens to couples. Today she herself called me and asked me out".Raka's head doubled.

"Yes, right now, excuse me." I said as I pulled Raka's arm to bring her out.

"Wait," Devan grabbed my other hand, "What is this, Daria? What's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me. I just went to lunch with my boyfriend. What harm? I don't want to be late, so we're leaving now."

I didn't wait for an answer. Soon we were in Raka's car and she drove me to a restaurant.

.....

I planned to make the lunch date short and fast, but it was impossible when Raka ate like a snail with five minutes of her talking between each bite. He also had a lot of questions about why I contacted him for lunch.

"So what happened to you Daria? And why do you call me your boyfriend when you obviously don't? You're starting to like me again, aren't you?" He grins.

The questions were clearly not what was expected. What was expected was two hours he bragged about himself.

"What?"

He dropped his annoying personality. "Daria, I'm not blind, okay? There must be something going on between you. It seems like you two like each other and you called me to make it seem like we were dating in front of her and she was jealous. I don't understand why you did that and why this happened between the two of you when Devan was dating Luna".

I was really surprised. Raka shouldn't be that smart to know this. He was supposed to be my stupid ex who was still sticky and annoying.

He laughed at my expression.

"Who was that guy a few months ago, who came to the house to take me to dinner and acted like an asshole?" I asked

"Oh," he grimaced. "It's nice to act like a jerk and see how much you annoy others. Seriously, it was just a joke to me and just wanted to see if you were still the same Daria who fell in love with me. I mean, if you were still the same, you would definitely run straight towards me. Regardless of how clever you are in the lesson, you are stupid enough to fall in love with me. You think you can change me. No offense. I'm a woo. You should have known better."

I put on a sour face because he insulted me when I didn't do those things.

"Now tell me," he said and I know what he's talking about

"I shouldn't have told you."

"You can trust me. I know I ask for a lot of things when I have an affair with your best friend, it's also on your birthday, but as a friend, you can really trust me".

I don't really know Raka but I feel like I can talk to her about this. Not about the whole situation but only part of it

"Luna and Devan have a fake and-" relationship"

I was cut off when Raka clenched her fists, "I know that."

"Huh? How ? Only the three of us know." I was once again confused.

"As I said, I'm not blind, I know Luna's mother threatened her to marry her to her man of choice and then a few days later she suddenly had a boyfriend and had a serious relationship with him and that too Devan. It was too obvious and the way Luna and Devan behaved with each other felt too robotic, like they had been trained. It doesn't look real."

"Wow." That's all that can be said. Raka was completely different from the picture I had in my head. "Good observation skills."

"thank you. Now continue what you said"

"Okay, so Devan and I liked each other. But I don't want us to be together".

He looked at me in disbelief. "It's empty that doesn't make any sense."

I sighed, "I know it doesn't make sense. But I have my own reasons. I can't tell you about it. Can't tell anyone."

"okay." He seemed to be considering it as he finally took two bites without having a five-minute conversation between them. "But I think if you two really like each other then you should be together. Love is beautiful. Nothing stands in the way of two people loving each other."

I choked a little on my food "We're not in love. We just like each other". Shall me

He waved a disdainful hand at me that was "just the same for me. There's only a difference of words, but still the same thing".

"No. After all, that's why I thought that if we were dating, then she would forget her feelings for me and it would be good for both of us"

"Okay, so I'm getting used to this, huh?" He asked as he sipped his wine

"I'm sorry, I don't know how else to turn it down. I'm not sure I could have turned it down if it wasn't for this"

"alright. I'm gonna be a pretend girlfriend for a while"

"Hey, maybe we should throw a party and we can go around showing off our relationship and enjoying Devan burning with jealousy"

"What's? No!"

"Yes, I've decided. I'm going to have a party and no parents are going to be invited because they're going to make the party boring. I have a lot of friends to go to, so yeah. And to make it interesting, this party will be a masquerade party"

"I'm not leaving. And I'm sure Devan won't either. So you can have a party with yourself"

"Oh, come on, this is the perfect opportunity for us to show Devan that you don't like him. And if you tell her that you're coming, she'll definitely come"

My shoulders slackened hearing his enthusiasm. "Okay, okay. Do whatever you want".

Raka seems to be the type of guy who always gets her wish, so I thought there was no point in arguing with her. And he's right. This party may be all it takes to make Devan move on. If she saw Raka was so happy, maybe she would really believe me.

"Well, that's what you want to hear. I'll tell you the time later. Make sure to wear the sexiest clothes."

"Make sure to dress the ugliest" I said, "Ah no, you're ugly."

Raka gasp. "How dare you? I'm just helping you and you call me ugly."

I turned my eyeballs towards him. "What else do you expect from your ex?"

"Wow. I'm really amazed by your change."

"Well, you hope too. Do you still cheat on your boyfriend a lot?

He shook his head, "No, I learned from you. After you left, I blamed myself for everything. It was all a sad teenage drama for a few weeks after you left and after that I didn't cheat on any girl. All the girlfriends I had after you were happy with me and we broke up because I cheated. So, you've changed me"

We talked more about other things and I ended up feeling sick of seeing him eat the way he did all day, which he probably did but didn't, so I told him to hurry or I'll leave him there.

The foolish little boy hung up his car keys and asked me if I would take public transport or walk on foot, which would allow me to be recognized and mobbed, so I just threw a gaze at him and sat down with an empty plate and watched him eat. He was in a bit of a hurry after that.

When he came home. I realized that I had made a new friend who was too quick to judge. This made him the second person, the first was Pritta who I assumed was the worst of them both and they both turned out to be the opposite. I scolded myself for judging such a person on the way to my room, but it wasn't my fault if their first impression wasn't very good.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't see the figure standing right in front of my room until I realized it.

This is the second time Devan has scared me by accident today

"Why don't you work?" I asked as soon as I started to calm down.

"I decided to work from home after lunch"

"Oh, okay. Uh, I got some work to do, so. I'm gonna go."

I gestured for her to move away from the door, but she did not flinch.

"I think you owe me an explanation."

"About what?" I decided to pretend to be stupid.

"You know what. Why did you go on a date with Raka?"

"Devan. I like Raka. I'm sorry to confuse you. I was completely confused by how I felt and mixed it up with a stupid attraction towards you. But now I'm thinking straight. The person I like is Raka, not you."

"What does that mean? You liked me. I can see it. Why are you lying?"

"Don't make this difficult for both of us. Like I said before, I like Raka. I'm confusing my feelings for you and-"

"That's bullshit. You know what kind of person Raka is. Why do you like that bastard??"

I put a hand on his chest to put some distance between us because realizing that we were too close and the distance would keep me thinking clearly.

"That's my boyfriend you're talking about. I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you talk nonsense about him. I'm sorry for making you angry. Now if you're gonna act like a jerk about it, then you don't deserve my apology"

I don't know how I could keep looking at him when my words hurt him so much.

"W-how can you do this to me? You liked me. You think I feel like an on-off switch? I can't just stop liking you." He grunts.

"Is this about me dating Luna? If so, please tell me I'll break up with him right now. Please tell me what's wrong?"

I swallowed back the lump in my throat as tears formed behind my eyelids.

"You didn't do anything wrong, okay? I know it's going to be hard for you, but try to forget me" I said, putting on a hard face. "I don't have feelings for you".

Tears came out of his eyes upon hearing my words and he knew that I had made serious damage to his emotions. That's not the feeling he has towards me. It was a deep and passionate feeling for him. He really likes me a lot

"See you." I said and turned to open the door, but I was hugged tightly from behind.

"No, you're lying, I know you're lying. Don't know what for, but please Daria you don't have to do this to me."

"Devan what are you doing".

I tried to take her hug off me but she held my shoulder and turned me towards her before crashing me into her chest again.I felt something wet on my shoulder and I knew she was crying.

I didn't know how much I could control my tears anymore, so I pushed him.

"Take me off!" I yelled at him and I used all my strength to push him away

She fell to the floor as she lost her footing and I took the opportunity to slam the door in her face and finally let the tears flow freely on my cheek.

"I'm sorry" I whispered in the closed door.